Hall of Fame

What kind of “beta” porn sites can I find in your Hall of Fame, PornGeek?

If you haven’t realized by now, I visit lots of adult sites in my spare time. Being a woken warrior for feminism, you have to visit tons of them just to be able to uplift as many females on this planet as possible. Think about it: if I stayed on PornHub all day, how many other females around the world would miss out on getting their telepathic good vibes sent to them? Way too many! The more sites, the better I say: unfortunately, I cannot cover them all.

That’s where the Hall of Fame comes in: ThePornDude has one, and I do too! The sites you will find are honorable mentions: I have been unable to place them in a category anywhere else, but because they are worthy of a visit, they have to be mentioned. So here they are! Think of these as up-and-coming websites that still haven’t hit that stride that so many other sites I have reviewed have hit. This list is like reaching into that big bag of goodies the homeless man down the street would let us pick around in as kids: sometimes you’d get candy, other times you’d find a syringe in your hand. This list is kind of like that, except you won’t be like Harry, who got HIV playing that game. Click on any of the links below and take a look because who knows? You may find a site worth bookmarking; that would make your visit worth it, in the end, wouldn’t it, friend? Tell me visiting me was worth it, just say it once…

Anyways, the only beta around here is me, and that’s because I bow down to females and uplift them rather than using them like a pathetic Chad! But I understand what you are trying to say, my woken friends. These sites are up-and-coming and have to find a place on my main site. They still have something to prove.

Look within this list, and you will find a variety of sites: this is a one-size-fits-all category, so browse around and look at the sites that are on the verge of making the cut but haven’t quite made their mark yet. From free tube sites to sex chats to forums and even Craigslist-like bulletin boards designed for finding adult friends to picnic with, the sites are as varied as ThePornDudes’ variety of categories on his website. Go check it out: you may a new resource for uplifting the beautiful ladies that make this planet worth living on!

I don’t want to waste a precious load! Are these XXX websites worth fapping to?

That depends, my fellow white knight! Although you will undoubtedly find females to uplift and praise on these sites, let’s just say many of them may not be ready for primetime. You may run into video stutters, pop-up ads, terrible user interfaces, and an experience that just isn’t typical of the quality sites that I deliver to you on a consistent basis. Keep realistic expectations about what you will find inside, and you may have a good time.

And even then, you may find a diamond in the rough! Look, just because some of these sites are not as good or currently just do not have a place in one of my many categories doesn’t mean they don’t do some things right. Just look at Chatropolis: they’ve been around since 1994! They must be doing something correct, right? Browse cautiously, but don’t write these sites off just because they ultimately are not of the same caliber as the adult sites I normally showcase. Besides, some females need to be uplifted within! We have to do our jobs and give them the self-confidence they need that normal men refuse to give them!

Why don’t you list your own copycat porn list here, since it’s a cheap version of ThePornDude?

Come on, what’s with the attitude friend? ThePornDude and I share a relationship that Spielberg is going to make a film about one day. And just because I’m not the alpha he is doesn’t mean I’m a cheaper version either: that’s simply a testament to just how alpha ThePornDude truly is! You’re not as alpha as he is: none of us are. Besides, my goal is to share content that will allow you to send praises and good vibes to the ladies within telepathically! I’m meeting that goal with every post; I’m not a cheap cat, just a woken tiger!

Damn, I also recognize a lot of dead porn sites that were famous in the past. I’m getting tears in my eyes!

Don’t I know it! I was looking through this massive list just yesterday and felt myself being transported back to the high school library where I would look at these sites and wonder when the day would come when I could lose my virginity. That day obviously never came, and seeing once-popular porn sites becoming shells of themselves and shuttering forever makes me realize how much time has passed.

Look around to see which hidden gems you’ve never seen, but keep in mind you may see artifacts of a time long past: a time when fascists like Google and Facebook didn’t own the Internet, and people like you and I could plant our flags anywhere on the Web and get a following. If you feel like crying, I urge you to do so. I will be here for you, my woken friend, with a tissue and a cup of authentic Japanese tea I stole from the health store.

PornGeek, you’re the ultimate Chinese copycat! Your site is unoriginal, and your reviews fucking suck!

I’ve never shot an unarmed Hong Kong teenager in the chest with a shotgun; Disney, Google, and the NBA have yet to bow down to me and do my bidding, so I’m obviously not Chinese. I don’t know what a copycat is, but if you are saying I’m cool as a feline and it makes other male feminists want to copy and be like me, then I am flattered! That is what my mission of male feminism is all about!

And…hey! Unoriginal? I suck? Hey friend, let’s remember why we are here: for the ladies! You want them to feel like they are welcome in a male-dominated society just like I do (otherwise, why would you be here?), so please, my woken friend, let’s tone down that attitude and be gee-golly swell to one another!