Vintage Erotica Forum

Vintage-Erotic-Forum.com! Progress isn’t always a good thing. Sure, we’ve got fancy computers and fast cars and drive-through chicken tenders, but there are some things about the past that were just plain better.It’s not that I’d give up the creature comforts of the present, but I still find myself waxing nostalgic about the good old days sometimes. When my fedora would have made me fashionable instead of an outcast, when women obeyed men even if they were guys like me, and when the world was a simpler place as long as you were a straight, white male like me.I can’t stop this feeling of yearning that I have for the 50s, 60s, and 70s. The time when men were men and women were women, the time when people respected their elders. When America was great and the Russians were bad. When the world made sense. If it was still the 50s my life would be so much better. I’d have a cushy job instead of having to rely on my allowance. I’d have a doting wife instead of my pillow (who I love very much) and I’d be able to cheat with my secretary instead of with by blow-up dolls. It’s just the time I was born that made my life the way it is, there’s nothing wrong with me.Of course, I wasn’t actually alive back then, but movies and TV have never steered me wrong. Sometimes when I watch Mad Men I get a desire to return to this past that I’ve never experienced. Watching Don Draper, who is basically just a 60s version of ThePornDude, makes me want to pour a glass of whiskey, smoke a cigar, and masturbate to pictures of girls with torpedo tits like he would if he didn’t have girls crawling all over him.

Nostalgia For An Age That Never Existed

Except… whiskey makes my tummy burn, and mommy won’t let me buy cigars, so I’ll have to settle for the third part. At least Vintage Erotica Forum exists. If you haven’t heard of it, let me give you the grand tour.As far as I can tell, Vintage Erotica Forum has been around since 2006. In internet terms, that practically makes it vintage itself. Ever since then, it’s been the world’s top source for nudes and porn from girls that are now old enough to be your mom, but probably aren’t as hot. That’s not to say they’re not attractive, but everyone has a special place in their heart for mommy, right?Their main sections enforce a vintage cut-off in the mid-1990s: for magazine scans and movies the dividing line is 1997, pornstars they must have started their careers prior to 1995, and celebrity nudes are only allowed if the girls were born before 1984. I’m not entirely sure how they came up with these restrictions, but I’m going to defer to the experts here.There are also a few non-porn-related discussion forums, but they’re filled with fancy old men who have their life together, so I get embarrassed when I go there. It’s much better for my self-esteem to stick to the sections filled with naked women, so I’m going to pretend that those parts of the site don’t exist.

The Time-Travelers Guide

If you’re looking for something classy, you should start with the section on “Magazine Scans.” This is the kind of stuff that would have been in Playboy and other magazines like it. Scrolling through this board reminded me of the first time I found a nudie magazine. I was eleven years old and walking through the woods near my house when I spotted it. Some of the pages were stuck together, and I think I saw the blinds flip up at that creepy shack nearby when I started to jerk off, but it was such a wonderful experience. Since I’m too pure for real life women, I consider that the day I lost my virginity.For a more hardcore experience, check out “Classic Pornstars.” This stuff is sourced both from the raunchier magazines of the day, as well as classic porn VHS tapes. It’s a lot of the same girls, but this time instead of the focus being on tits and hairy pussies, you get to see them get fucked.They even have a “Classic Male Pornstars” subforum. I’m not usually into this kind of stuff, but I did find one guy who looks a bit like me. It was kind of nice to not feel bad about my body when looking at porn, so I think I’ll come back to this section. His name was Ron Jeremy—just… don’t look below the belt. Everything else about him is pretty close to what I look like, but that cock must not be real, it’s at least triple the size of mine.They even have a section for the really old stuff. The “Vintage Elegance & Beauty” section is reserved for nudes from prior to 1945. If you want to jerk off to the same stuff that grandpa used to, this is the place to be. And some of these girls are surprisingly attractive—just try not to think that they’re all either dead or so wrinkly and gross that they might as well be dead, it might kill the vibe.All of these sections are great, but they focus on still photos. They’re a blast to the past for sure, but when it really comes down to business I vastly prefer watching videos. I’m a seasoned masturbator, so while pictures can be an interesting appetizer, they’re no substitute for a good main course. For that, you’ll need to go to the “Classic Movies” forum.Most of the films here are from the 80s and 90s, since porn wasn’t as widely distributed before that, but if you look hard enough you can find classic content from the 70s, 60s, and even a bit of porn from earlier.

The Modern World

If vintage porn isn’t your cup of tea, Vintage Erotica Forum actually does have a few sections reserved for modern girls. You might think this is odd, for a classic porno forum to host new nudes, but hear me out: it’s actually brilliant. It keeps your porn browsing in fewer tabs. As much as I like the old stuff, my jerk-off sessions need variety. I will not be content with porn from just a few decades when I’m really getting down to business. So I go back and forth between their vintage stuff and their modern stuff.But why does it matter that you’re doing this on one site, you ask? Oh, my sweet summer child. Ask me again when mommy comes in your room (without knocking again, when will she learn) and you have your dick in your hand with ten different tabs to close.While I, on the other hand, can easily tuck myself back into my sweatpants and close a single tab, because I was smart enough to consolidate my porn-viewing session to a single site. Don’t feel bad about yourself, we can’t all be as intelligent and experienced as I am.

The Past Isn’t Perfectly Preserved

If you’re into the genre of porn that Vintage Erotica Forum specializes in, the site really only has one downside. It’s inevitable when it comes to ancient forums like this, but I’m going to complain about it anyway because it mildly inconveniences me.On the internet, some things don’t last forever. Vintage Erotica Forum doesn’t actually host images, but just links to them instead. As image hosting sites come and go, sometimes their fruits are lost to the ravages of time. Because of this, some of the older threads on Vintage Erotica Forum will be filled with dead links to 404’d images. I’d guess that this only amounts to less than ten percent of the images even on threads that are over ten years old, but still—wanting to look at a certain girl’s bush and being told you can’t is probably the greatest disappointment known to man. It’s much worse when you get denied by somebody close to you like a family member, but it still hurts when it’s a random girl who hasn’t been sexually attractive in half a century.