Since I don’t really leave the house or interact with other human beings, nobody ever really offers me anything. Well, I guess my mom offers to kick me out of the house if I don’t get a job or at least clean my semen socks off the basement floor, but I don’t get any nice handouts. Just once, I’d like to say, “Yes! Porn, please!” At least the porn tube YesPornPlease lets me make that declaration, so today I’m going to be aggressively stroking my manhood while looking at their lesbian section.YesPornPlease.com has only been around for a few years, but it’s one of the biggest free porn tubes on the net. They currently get over 100 million visits per month, probably on account of the thousands of free HD hardcore movies available in their catalog. The lesbian section runs about 1200 movies deep, and while that may not be the biggest all-girl stash on the web, it’s certainly more than enough for my typical 14-second pump time.
Top Pornstars In Free Porno! Holy Shit!YesPornPlease has the typical wall-of-porn style you see on any free tube, a huge grid of hot, slutty lesbians licking each other’s twats and slamming dildos in all the waiting, wet orifices. One thing I noticed immediately is that most of these are full-length scenes running around half an hour or more. Not only that, but they come from such big names as Brazzers, PureTaboo, and Reality Kings.Holy shit, I guess I’m in for a treat! I didn’t think I was going to see any more premium scenes this month since mom is withholding my allowance again. She says it’s because I keep leaving feces smeared all over the toilet seat, but honestly, I think it’s because she’s been fucking my old gym teacher and he’s always been really mean to me. Fuck that guy, though. I don’t need mom’s sweaty cleavage cash when YesPornPlease is giving away this premium lesbo smut for free.There aren’t really any search/filter options that I can see. I assume the clips are laid out in order of newness, but it’s hard to say. I’ve got a lesbian tag at the top of the screen and I can add more, but there’s no way to filter out the low-resolution videos or skip right to the most popular dike flicks on the site. I’d complain about it more, but I’m pretty excited to dip into this free taboo lesbian stuff.
I Love Lesbians Who Love LesbiansI clicked on a 40-minute GirlsWay clip featuring Chanel Preston and a couple of other recognizable carpet munchers. I think this is the newest girl-on-girl movie on the site, but there are no dates listed. It’s got 5000 views and a 100% positive rating, though, which I have to take as a good sign.I did get a few seconds of buffering before the video started playing at 720p, but I didn’t have to watch any spam or fuck up my browser history with a pop under. Resolution is adjustable, but this is the highest quality, at least for the scene.The movie opens with a nice shot from behind of this redhead in short shorts. She starts rambling to herself excitedly about how she’s going to make some new girlfriends by making cookies. Personally, I’d like to make her a delicious creampie.I skipped over a few minutes of measuring out ingredients. Sometimes the controls on a free tube video player will make a bunch of spam clutter up your experience, but that didn’t happen here. I jumped ahead a couple of times until all the girls were topless and sucking on each other’s nipples.My hard-on is raging at its full 2-inch Bigfoot mode as I watch these girls groping bubble butt and taking their panties off. One of the things I really like about lesbian pornography is you don’t have to see any giant, intimidating cocks to make you feel like less of a man. Even my anime princess body pillow is giving me more of a seductive look than usual, as I’m sure the extra hard endowment gets her cartoon curves excited. Her cotton guts are going to get a little crustier tonight, at least if I don’t spill all my seed in my tighty whiteys again. (And honestly, they haven’t been remotely white since the first time I put them on.)
Save Files and Make Friends with PervertsThere’s a Download button beneath the video player. I know most of you modern motherfuckers prefer to stream your lesbian pornography, typically while on the toilet at work or on the bus ride getting there, but sometimes it can be really fucking convenient to save your favorite pornos for later. You never know when your mom is going to change the Wi-Fi password or you’re going to get run out of the library by the police again. On sites with pirated material, as this just might be, you also have to worry about DMCA takedowns and other legal bullshit.You have to sign up and log in if you want to save anything. This obviously will require an email address that will probably end up getting spammed, so just do what I do and use your mom’s. Membership comes with other perks besides downloads, including access to games and photos. Members can subscribe to users, post comments and write blogs.One of the main reasons I signed up was because “Make Friends” was listed among the perks for joining. I’m a virgin neckbeard who doesn’t leave the basement and I’ve been looking to expand my circle beyond the anime nerds at Reddit. Thanks to YesPornPlease, I now interact with porn tube commenters who say insightful shit such as, “nice titty can you show vagene plz?” and “fucking garbage more pussy licking now!”
Taboo Lesbians Get Freaky For FreeThe next video I watched was a full-length incest movie from PureTaboo. When the video player loaded, it was covered with a message saying my adblocker was detected and that I wasn’t allowed to watch anything until I turned it off. Fortunately, I was able to get the video playing without much trouble and I didn’t even have to remove my digital condom.It’s a pretty kinky scene involving a sexy but angry cop bitch and a hot little blonde criminal. The baked-in video player at YesPornPlease has little notches in the timeline, but it’s a little unclear what they’re pointing out in the video. At least, not until you click on them. Then you end up seeing intense fingering, light bondage, and some deep asshole tonguing. Maybe it’s just because I’m a weaboo who has never touched a girl, but I always imagine that tastes just like Pocky.Goddamn. It’s only 720p, which was cutting-edge years ago, but it’s still a beautifully crisp picture and it’s still high-quality, premium porno. I watched a few videos from a few different paysites today, and if I would’ve paid for all of them I wouldn’t be able to afford my monthly delivery of Mountain Dew, mayonnaise, potato chips, and liquid cheese product.I guess the biggest complaint about YesPornPlease would come from the kind of moral fags who object to the idea of cranking your meat to lesbian pool sex without whipping out your mom’s credit card. Yeah, it looks like there’s a decent chance some of this smut is posted without permission. You can act like a hall monitor or narc, getting your fucking panties in a bunch, or you can just appreciate the free girl-on-girl fuck flicks as you masturbate for free on the Starbucks Wi-Fi. Alternately, if you’ve got a fucking problem with it, you can just spank your monkey to another one of the free tubes on my list.YesPornPlease.com is one of the most popular free sex tubes on the web, so no shit they’ve got plenty of lesbian flicks in their stash. There is a lot of full-length material here from the all-girl paysites, setting the site apart from the tubes that only have samples. It’s big and free and full of your favorite porn stars eating pussy, so why the fuck are you still here reading this?