Crazy XXX 3D World! My mom has been giving me a lot of shit about the anime piles blocking the basement stairs, saying they’re a fire hazard and she’s pretty sure the cats are pissing on them. Why does she care? It’s not like she can get down here on her mobility scooter. Anyway, I finally relented and sold an old stack of cat-person golden showers doujinshi, though not without a few tears. It fucking sucks I had to part with them, but at least I finally had a few bucks I could spend on a premium sex comic site. I haven’t tried a CrazyXXX3dWorld.com membership yet, so it seems like as good a time as any.CrazyXXX3dWorld was started back in 2000, when decent domains were much more readily available. I’m not sure why they didn’t pick a better name, one that flows off the tongue a little easier, but I guess it doesn’t matter at this point. They’ve managed to stick around nearly 20 years now and build up a healthy following for crazy cartoon porn. How many 3D cartoon porn paysites can claim hundreds of thousands of views per month?
What’s So Crazy About CrazyXXX3dWorld?With “Crazy” in the name, CrazyXXX3dWorld has got to be pretty fucking crazy, right? It’s also got to be XXX-rated, presented in three dimensions, and be expansive enough to claim world status. That’s a tall fucking order.One of the first batshit-insane things you’ll notice is that the site makes heavy use of Flash. Flash is outdated garbage that nobody should use anymore. It’s uninstalled or disabled by default on your browser because it’s dangerous, but this site wants you to have the latest version installed and running. Support for Flash is ending at every level in a few months, and sites like this need to get with the fucking times.There’s a tour for the website you can flip through via HTML, or watch on video by either downloading a WMV or using the Flash player. It’s 2019 and every site on the Internet has a modern web player except CrazyXXX3dWorld. That sure seems fucking crazy!
Take a Crazy Tour of Crazy XXX 3D WorldOkay, so despite the Flash, it’s not a bad trailer. There’s just no reason to use Flash. It’s not even a video, really, just a series of panels from their comics with a voiceover. The sexy lady voice talks about how they have the top artists banging out over 10,000 images in every niche and fetish you could imagine. As evidence, we see that very same obscene imagery flashing by the screen. Holy shit.The first image is a detailed CG mermaid with nice tits. We’re then hit with a blast of pregnant maidens, overinflated titties, and 4-breasted aliens. There are worms squirming into squealing girl cunts and tied-up bitches lactating uncontrollably. Dragons undress sluts and dudes with elephant dong hanging on the ground ask if they can get a blowjob.The dirty images are going so fast I haven’t been looking at the dialogue bubbles until now. They hint at scenarios even dirtier than I thought at first. So many of these BBWs and MILFs are related, adding a taboo angle to the breast inflation and brutal bondage bangs.When the tour video segues from comic panels to CG video, I have to wonder if that alien mouth-raping the bitch is her brother or dad. It’s probably just some sexual predator from another galaxy, but CrazyXXX3dWorld already has me primed with so much incest it’s hard not to think about the time my sister tricked me into tasting her tampon. That was the worst Christmas dinner ever, and nobody in my family will let me live it down.
A Crazy Price for Crazy Comic PornoThe monthly membership price at CrazyXXX3dWorld is about $40 a month, which is another reason the site is fucking crazy. Most premium porn sites are charging about ten bucks less, but maybe they’re just confident in their material. Rates go down with a longer membership.It does come with access to what they claim are the largest adult entertainment sites online, so there’s that. There are half a dozen paysites on the list, including CrazyXXXTeens, CrazyXXXHardcore, and CrazyXXXLesbians. They’ve all got the same outdated design style as CrazyXXX3dWorld.There is an extensive free gallery accessible from the front page. There’s no organization at all, just a cluster of identical GALLERY links. You end up seeing random snippets from different depraved 3D stories, but there is plenty of material to fap to if you ain’t picky.
Super-Kinky New Comics Every Once in a WhileThe main page of the member’s area shows the ten most recent comics. The good news is that they include anal sex with hot teachers, interracial mystic oral, and horror BDSM with skinny teens and MILFs. The bad news is the updates come pretty irregularly. The most recent comic, about a slutty but glamorous MILF in stockings, was added 3 months ago. It looks like they were averaging at least 1 a month before that, so let’s hope they get moving again.You’ve got the option to view any of the comics in gallery format or in a video. There’s a little message underneath the vids saying to pause it if you need to read, but I had the opposite problem. I was trying to jack off to this big-boobed lady riding the giant dick guy and kept having to stare at panels of lab equipment for a few seconds at a time. I understand the importance of storytelling, but I have erectile issues as it is without interrupting my porno. YMMV, I guess.
The Mystery of the Missing ArchiveOf all the comics on the front page of Crazy3dXXXworld today, I was most interested in one called World of Neverquest: The Huntress Episode 02. The tags include Alien, BDSM, Demon, BigPenis, and Fetish, which is exactly the kind of shit I’m into. The cover image shows a hot little slut being penetrated by a couple of weird tentacle things, which is why I stopped swimming in the ocean. Instead of a convenient link to read or watch it like I saw for the other comics, there’s a little note saying it’s been “moved to archive”.Since this is the world wide web, a technology we’ve all been familiar with for decades, you’d naturally assume a link to that archive would be right next to that note. It’s not. In fact, I control+F’d all over the site and couldn’t find the goddamn archive. It’s even mentioned in the FAQ, another page on CrazyXXX3dWorld that doesn’t link to the mysterious archive.The FAQ mentions comics being moved to the archive when they’re old, but the one I’m trying to read is one of the ten most recent comics on the site. Scrolling through past updates, it doesn’t seem like they’re bumping things due to age. Stories are pulled seemingly at random.Look, I’m not The Porn Dude, who is a certified expert on porn sites. I’m just The Porn Geek, a sad man masturbating in his mom’s basement, but I’ve got a pervert’s intuition. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the missing books in the catalog look a little more hardcore than the ones still on the shelf, and I don’t think it’s a mistake that I’m having such a hard time finding the goddamn link.I had to Google it to find it, and it turns out it has a better URL and name than the real thing: CrazyXXXarchive. I think this is the real site, because it has everything on the “main” site plus a lot of kinky hentai that I didn’t even see listed. It takes the same username and password. It’s a bizarre setup that makes paying users have to work extra hard to find the good stuff.
How to Jerk Off with All Three HandsReading comics on CrazyXXX3dWorld/CrazyXXXarchive is a little clunky, which seems to match their overall outdated design. Each “page” is 12 thumbnails leading to full-sized images that don’t necessarily fit on your screen. You will likely have to do some scrolling just to reach the Forward button at the bottom of the page. If you were hoping for relatively hands-free wanking, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news.CrazyXXX3dWorld feels old and busted, but its longevity has apparently never hinged on the layout or presentation. These guys have stuck around for decades because their CG porn comics are some of the most twisted and perverted things you’ll ever read. It’s bizarre, kinky, freaky, not nearly vanilla and will offend a great many people who look at it. That’s exactly what makes it so great.