YourPorn Anal

I’ve always had kind of an aversion to butt stuff. Maybe it was that time I pooped my pants in sixth grade and never lived it down, or maybe it’s the painful hemorrhoids I’ve been crippled with for decades. Maybe it’s that time I got constipated so bad I put a coat-hanger up there and ended up with a punctured and prolapsed rectum, but you don’t need to hear that story. Whatever the case, I’ve been avoiding the Anal section over at YourPorn, aka SxyPrn, for a while now.Despite my own reservations about taking a trip down to Brown Town, anal sex is one of the most popular subgenres of hardcore porno. SxyPorn.com, one of the bigger free sex tubes, currently has nearly 22,000 videos tagged with #Anal. That’s a lot of buttholes being fucked, fingered, rimmed and ruined. Who wants to watch, you sick fucks?

Better Butts Than I’m Used To, All For Free

My mom’s got a trip to the proctologist later and I’m still trying to arrange transportation for her. She’s extremely obese and unable to get out of the house on her own, so I need to get an ambulance for her. The trouble is, she’s been blacklisted by the local service after having a shit-throwing meltdown during which an EMT was blinded by her feces. I pity the poor doctor who’s going to have to put a speculum in her anus for a closer look at that terrifying fart box.The assholes in YourPorn’s Anal section do look a lot better than her nasty old brown eye. In case you’re wondering how I could possibly know what her butthole looks like, it’s because she’s too fat to wipe after a dump and the task is left to the adult son living in her basement. The butts on this site aren’t covered in pus-leaking zits and oozy hemorrhoids, nor do I see the same constellations of dingleberries clinging to the rat’s nest of hair that covers mom’s puckered starfish.In fact, these assholes are beautiful and bald, centered perfectly between some of the juiciest, most succulently round ass cheeks I’ve ever seen. They don’t have those familiar brown, yellow and green stains upon dimpled cottage-cheese flesh mounds that I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. The butts and corresponding buttholes in this tube give shame to the leaky donut I’ve been staring at all these years.

Butt Stuff and a Shout to The Porn Geek

SxyPrn has a somewhat unconventional tube layout. It’s got the wall of porn thumbnails like everybody else, but there’s a cluttered mess of text and icons surrounding and on top of each thumbnail. The thumbs show moving previews on hover-over, so you can get a closer peek at the salad tossing that happens in that interracial flick.There are emojis on the side of each preview image. They’re tiny and hard to make out even if you zoom in on the page, but they all have labels like Bigtits, MILF, Incest, and of course, Anal. They’re cute, I guess, and useful since they basically function like a simplified list of tags.Other icons tell you how many other users have Liked or Favorited the vids. I like how their Favorite icon takes the usual heart that everybody else has and adds a dick. I feel like they’re giving a shout-out to me, because that little pee-pee is literally the actual size of my own micropenis. Fucking awesome!The Hot 24 on the Porn Wall shows anal-bang flicks from some big players in the business. Some of it is tagged with the creator right on the thumbnail; HardX, LegalPorno, and BlackedRaw are all blowing up the anal sex tubes here. I see big-name pornstars like Kenzie Reeves and Mia Malkova getting it in the doodie hole. It’s an impressive spread, to say the least, which is also how I feel about this anal gaping flick I see here.

Full-Length Anal Porn Scenes on a Free Tube?

I don’t mean to alarm anybody, but I think this premium porn may potentially have been pirated. Those are big studios, and these are full-length porn scenes. I’m talking about 30 minutes of hardcore ass humping, butt pounding, and booty smashing. I’m seeing videos that run 40 minutes full of rectum rimming, asshole eating, and salad tossing. There are hour-long sex epics here full of anal fisting, extreme ass play, and ass-to-mouth obscenity! The big guys don’t typically give those long movies out for free, putting them out of the reach of bum-ass freeloaders like myself.That may explain some of the weirdness behind the site’s name. They’ve bounced names and URLs a bunch of times. They’ve been YouPorn and SexyPorn and SxyPrn, YourPorn.sexy and then SxyPrn.com. Sometimes when that shit happens, it’s because they’re playing a little cat-and-mouse game with Google. I’m not saying that’s what’s going on here, but most sites and their visitors prefer the simplicity of one name.I say this because I know some of you moral fags get your balls all twisted up at the idea of jerking your dick to something that might have been stolen. Hey, we can’t all be The Porn Dude, up to our eyeballs in stacks of porno cash. I live off a small allowance my mom gives me, and it usually doesn’t go much further than my crippling hentai addiction. I can’t typically afford to buy premium anal sex movies, so I won’t hate on you library masturbators. You perverts are my people!

Smooth-Playing Ass Eating and Downloads, Too

Spam is typically a given on any free tube. When they’ve got full-length scenes from big names, the pop-ups, pop-unders and video ads usually come at you a lot harder. My adblocker is displaying a high number of blocked ads than a lot of sites, but I haven’t seen jack shit. Nothing got in my way as I clicked over to a video of Kenzie Reeves getting her asshole drilled in, not a single boner pill ad or hentai game commercial.The playback is smooth as hell. Video resolution is non-adjustable, but it looks pretty fucking crisp at 720p. I clicked the three dots on the player, looking for more options. I found buttons to Download or watch this double-up with another butt-fucking porno with Picture-in-Picture mode.It’s a half-hour scene with a lot of cock-sucking, pussy-eating, wiener-stroking, and twat-dicking before the dude climbs up into the top bunk. Why rush it when you’ve got the time? I mean, I would, but that’s only because I have a very serious problem with premature ejaculation. I actually popped at the 10-second mark, as soon as Kenzi walked into the room, but I’ve been jumping around the movie for my review. There are no buffering issues at all as I skip from one depraved act to another.

High Quality Butt Sex at the Low Cost of $0

You know, I think I’ve changed my mind about butt stuff. Yeah, the fat old bitch upstairs may have a horrific, poop-shooting stink tunnel in the middle of a dirty swamp, but I guess that’s just one of the reasons she never made it as a pornstar. The sluts in YourPorn’s Anal section have some of the most exquisite harvest moons I’ve ever seen in my life. To toss one of these salads would truly be fine dining.I did get routed to Chaturbate once toward the end of my visit. One spammy trick over the course of a couple of hours ain’t a bad trade, especially considering all the premium butt stuff I got to beat off to for free. Goddamn, if I could afford that, mom would probably start making me pay rent. I kind of hope I can never afford it. Don’t tell her I said so.The only real complaint anyone might have about YourPorn’s Anal section is that some of this butt smut may have been pirated. It’s hard to prove, but check out my section of Premium Anal Porn Sites if it bothers you so much, Mr. Deep Pockets.If you’re looking for a nice, long wank to a full-length, high-quality anal sex movie, YourPorn is a pretty fucking nice place to find it. They’ve got 22,000 #Anal movies in their stash that you can watch or download free with very little spam getting in your way. The butts here look way nicer than what I’m used to in real life.