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Xfantasy
X Fantasy! I decided to get out of my comfort zone and do one of the things I do best: alchemy. As my friend, you probably didn’t know that about me and I sincerely apologize. But I am! I specialize in mostly creating healing potions but I have been known to…delve in the…dark arts, so to speak. I’m not at liberty to discuss it since a sorcerer never reveals his secrets but let’s just say a bully messed with me at community college before I was ‘kicked out;’ next thing he knew he couldn’t speak thanks to the curse I put on him. Oh! *Covers mouths and lets out a faint gasp* I’ve said too much!
Anyway, I found a group of LARPERS or to the uninitiated live-action role-playing; for the plebs, this means we fight for the glory of Azaula by defending its queen and her holy army. I sent a private message to the leading warrior of the group that was asking for a sorcerer to…lend a hand. I arrived at the park at 11:30 am on my trusty steed known as mother. The battle began at approximately 1:00 pm: by 2:00 pm it was apparent the Gods had laid a trap for me!
I’m not sure if it was my comment about the elven princesses’ tunic looking too ‘pedestrian’ or if it was the fact that I recited the wrong chant and poisoned my entire clan instead of healing them but within the hour the entire team had turned on me and was beating the poop out of me with their homemade dwarven battle axes, their elven broadswords, and especially their fire enchanted mace. I thought the weapons might have foam on them but according to the group leader, “we believe in being authentic and cutting people where it seems appropriate.”
It seemed appropriate to me. I was running away bleeding out of my cranium reciting spells of fury as I tripped over my sorceror’s cloak. Screaming and crying to spare me, an orc came barreling into the vicinity and tackled me into the duck pond. I couldn’t swim and asked three old ladies power walking if they could, “pull me out of the icy hellish waters of Azaula.” They ran away and told the group, “the queer is over there,” and the hazing continued.
While under the water thinking I was surely about to let out my last gasp of air, I remembered visiting a site recently called xFantasy. It was the good kind of fantasy: not the kind where a group of dangerous minds will try to murder you with their homemade medieval weapons. Will you feel the same or is watching it slightly better than having a troll chase you down out of the icy waters of Azaula, pull off your underwear, and biting your taint mercilessly in true troll fashion? Come find out!
Good amount of categories
The first thing I noticed when I first landed on xFantasy was just how many categories there were. A lot! It isn’t the most categories I’ve ever seen on a free tube site but you are certainly going to find what you are looking for here. Even if you want to watch a beautiful female smoke while she pleases a Chad that doesn’t deserve her respect xFantasy delivers the good and then some. I went over to the Asian section to see how many mature ladies I could find to gawk at while sitting in the dark contemplating doing something crazy like robbing one of mother’s friends just for the attention I would get out of it (usual Friday night stuff). I was pleased by the selection but wanted to narrow my tastes down further. xFantasy didn’t let me down either!Search by a huge variety of tags
It’s hard to find a free tube site that offers a good variety of categories and a list of tags you can search by but xFantasy delivers! They deliver in a good way: not like the Asian female pizza delivery driver that put a restraining order on me. Not like the Asian female’s family that threatened to, ‘saw me up into tiny little pieces and mail me to their countrymen,’ if I ever spoke to their daughter again. ThePornDude would not be threatened and would never take no for an answer and neither will I! I’m not done talking about the tags so don’t interrupt me! *squints eyes and shakes fist, giggling* A long list of selectable tags is one thing: the quality of the tags is something else. A good tag list features detailed tags that have something for everyone and this is where xFantasy shines. Combined with a good set of categories, finding the right female to uplift in the comments section of each video is easy!Barebones features disabled unless you subscribe to Premium PRO
Unfortunately, some key features you’ve come to expect on a free tube site like xFantasy are disabled unless you sign up for a subscription to Premium PRO ($21.95 per month but approximately $11.75 if you buy a full year). While signing up gives you access to full length and virtual reality scenes along with over 5000 videos supposedly being added daily that’s where the advantages end. For starters, download speeds are ridiculously slow unless you sign up for Premium PRO. It could take hours to download one video whereas the same video on another free tube site that offers downloading for free would take you a few minutes. It’s not a smart move on xFantasy’s part and only makes you not want to subscribe to Premium PRO (and you think I can do that with this welfare check *scoffs* get real!). You also cannot watch a single HD video unless you sign up for Premium PRO. Again, if I want to watch a lovely lady in HD glory I’m going to find her on a free tube site whether it’s offered at xFantasy or not.Signing up for Premium PRO is confusing
Try to sign up for Premium PRO and you are going to think you’ve gone to a completely different site. That’s because you are! Once you click on, ‘Buy Premium PRO,’ you are redirected to a site called Keep2Share which makes you think it’s a pop-up trying to trick you into buying something that your mother would ground you for after spanking your bare bottom. Since xFantasy’s videos are stored on Keep2Share and they process xFantasy’s payments, you are essentially paying for a cloud storage account that xFantasy markets as Premium PRO when it’s actually just a Keep2Share account that will give you access to the rest of xFantasy’s features and content. You get access to Keep2Share’s perks like simultaneous downloading and video previews for xFantasy’s content but it’s still unclear exactly why that matters. xFantasy needs to seriously streamline the signup process for Premium PRO and be more clear on what you are getting, how pricing works, etc.Easy to navigate on desktop and mobile
Browsing xFantasy is totally easy on desktop and mobile. I never pounded my head against the concrete floor of my basement while browsing even I couldn’t think straight and was disoriented after being brutally attacked by the clan I thought were going to be my friends. Anyone can figure it out and I’m happy to say that mobile is fully functional and snappy. I actually was able to browse xFantasy on mobile when I went to church. Hiding in the bathroom watching a beautiful Asian female show me how confident she was in her bedroom I watched for probably half an hour. That’s saying a lot too because the reception at mother’s church is poopy to say it nicely. Then the priest walked in on me. Because getting erections isn’t something I am capable of and I have a looser-than-normal butthole, I shoved my phone up my anus before he could see anything. He thought I was just pooping, apologized, stared at me a few seconds and moaned for some reason, then left. I didn’t understand why he was moaning or why it looked like he had an infected snakebite underneath his robe, but then again God works in mysterious ways.Channels section is messy
Figuring out the type of content on certain channels is easy enough. For example, feet porn videos are going to show lovely ladies giving their feet a manicure and telling us guys how to properly provide ‘pedicure’ to our footsies. Most channels on xFantasy are not this self-explanatory though. You will run into channels labeled things like, ‘adulttimecom porn,’ which tells you that the channel is probably devoted to videos from a site called Adult Time but what kind of content are you really going to find there? You don’t know unless you are familiar with the site. That’s the problem with the channels section: it’s hard to figure out which channels have certain videos. It’s easier just to go to the categories and tags list at that point. It’s a missed opportunity that could easily be fixed by cleaning up the section and starting from scratch. xFantasy is a decent free tube site that could be better. Giving key features to non-members that other free tube sites offer and explaining what Premium PRO does would be a good start. It’s worth the visit for the awesome categories and tag list just keep your expectations at a minimum. Like the expectations, I had for finding Sheila’s Hentai pillow body again. It’s never going to happen, and I have to come to terms with that.- Good amount of categories
- Long list of detailed tags to search videos
- Mobile and desktop versions work flawlessly
- Premium PRO offers exclusive virtual reality and full scenes; supposedly adds over 5000 videos per day.
- Channels section is a mess
- Download speeds are slow unless you purchase Premium PRO
- Can only watch videos in HD with Premium PRO
- Signing up for Premium PRO is confusing
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