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CutScenes
Cut Scenes! Well, working on the borders of the porn industry certainly does have its benefits and flaws. The benefits are usually the money, but not for us on the very end of it. We get something for writing this crap, and that's it. I'm not complaining, I mean I do have enough money. The only problem is that my deranged parents take every cent of it to spend on their vices. They always sell me the excuse that I have to pitch in some money into the house. Because I live there and all. But when I try to suggest things so we can make the home better, they cut me off and take my money. And then they say that they decide what the money will be spent on.
And what is it, you ask? McDonald's and Xanax. Wait, why did I even start talking about this? Oh, yeah, right! The flaws of working in this industry are that I always see overly fucked up shit here. And you can find that exact kind of stuff on this site, Cutscenes.net. From what I understood, they mostly upload scenes from movies or TV shows, but they often depict some terrible things that shouldn't be tried or experienced. Anyways, if you're interested in that, see this review through.
First impressions
When I first saw Cutscenes.net, I didn't quite get what it is about. You see, the site looks like your regular old school porn tube. You have that awful shade of black, atrocious fonts on those navigation tools, poorly constructed ads, and annoying video thumbnails. All in all, just like my life, it's a mess. But, that's not truly important here. After I was done with shaking from how ugly their design is, I started to read the titles. And what immediately struck me as a red flag was the amount of r-word that's circling. And I hate that word because it brings bad memories. It always reminds me of those times my uncle touched me on the no-no zone when I was a young boy. And then I heard the r-word for the first time when we were in court when my aunt was testifying, and my uncle finally ended up in prison. Sometimes I wonder if that's the reason why I'm so fucked up today. Of course, besides my parents being a pair of complete and utter morons.Navigation
Navigation isn't complicated. You only have a few options, and you can safely use them, that's it. Cutscenes.net did a pretty good job with that. Keeping it real, without adding any moronic options in the process. For example, that's called being over the top. You see, that correlates with me for a couple of reasons. First of all, over the top means being unnecessary and dramatic. And I'm a real drama queen, plus people often think that I'm just an unnecessary part in their lives, hence me being alone. Plus, I'm so over sex. With this ugly dick, I couldn't top a woman even if I tried for a hundred thousand years. Not all of us are as good looking and successful as ThePornDude, so yeah, it is what it is basically. But don't let that bring you down, you can enjoy this site without having to listen to my god-awful whining. Every single option on Cutscenes.net is related to videos, of course, but some of them explain the categories a bit too. So yeah, but let me tell you about the first few at least. You have a few different ways of browsing through the videos. For example, the latest will give you their new videos. Top-rated and most viewed are pretty much self-explanatory, so I'm pretty much convinced that you guys know what these are about already. God, all this dedication to underground porn, and here I am, sitting abandoned at my home. It's the weekend for Christ's sake, and I should be out, having fun. And yet, here I am! Thinking about how I'm probably going to play some World of Warcraft after I'm done with this review. And then I'm going to jerk off, apparently. And then I'll do it again. And again. And then I'll cry myself to sleep. That's pretty much it. Other than that, you have the categories, which we will explore later, and you also have like the best sites and models that you can see. But those two are pretty much just empty sections of the website, literally. That's also only comparable to what happens after I cry myself to sleep. Just dark emptiness, with nothing to look forward to. Are these getting too depressive? If they are, tell me right now, so I can stop it. After that, you have the playlists section of Cutscenes.net, where you can obviously see playlists filled with porn, and that's basically it.The perks
You don't get any exclusive perks, but you don't have to pay to access Cutscenes.net either. So you can pretty much just use this site without any restrictions, and if you like the content, it's all yours. Which is something you rarely see on porn sites these days, you know? A simple and a free transaction. You give them your time, they plaster a couple of ads around the site and upload porn. And that's a great thing, bringing it back to the old days before glamorous sites became a mainstream thing. You could just turn on a free site, drop your pants, slap the monkey around, and have some dinner. Of course, it's all fun and games until your mom catches you masturbate. You feel dirty, and it makes you even hornier. At least it was like that for me. I don't know about you. Sometimes I feel like I was born to be addicted to porn.The categories
You see, the categories on Cutscenes.net are entirely fucked up. First of all, there is not a single category here that reminds you of porn. All of them are tied to regular movies, and even that is not completely normal. It would be like a schizophrenic director trying to make another Ghostbusters remake, but on a bad porn set, and without any special effects. Just a fucking nightmare, honestly. But the number of categories is good, and if you look around hard enough, you might just find something that you like. Because of that, I'll explore them here thoroughly and report to you about what do they have and what's interesting about them in the first place. If you click on a particular category on Cutscenes.net, all you'll get is a bunch of different videos. But, unlike the other porn sites, this one is just nuts. There's no connection between the videos and the categories unless it's all a bunch of movie references that I don't get. I'd probably have much better education about cinematographic topics if my father hadn't sold my TV for an ounce of cocaine when I was nine years old. Jesus Christ, sometimes even I am surprised at how dark I can get. But all in all, it's nothing but an endless list of videos, so that's nothing new. Even the fonts and the design make it seem like it's the blandest porn tube ever to exist in this god-forsaken universe. The only modern part of Cutscenes.net is their video player. This is the only thing that takes me back from 2001 right to 2007. Before I explain anything about that, let me tell you a small piece of info about the categories. About half of them have mostly dislikes. And that's because of the very same things that I'm talking about now. Even if the content's okay, nothing else truly is. The content is everything, yeah, but if you neglect everything else... Well, my parents ignored me my whole life, and look how I turned out. Do you really want that to happen to your site? Your business?Registration and conclusion
All in all, the registration is the usual drill. Email, nickname, password, confirm that you're not a non-sentient mechanical being, and that's it. And how, to conclude this review, because that's the funniest part. I mean, me trying to sound professional while you can already hear the jerking sounds in the background, simply because I can't hold off any longer. You see, the site's good, if we're talking about the content. Other than that, there's really nothing exciting about it. It's about as blank as my 'sex book,' which I bought in high school. It was supposed to be a list of all the girls I've banged. The thing, I'm still looking for the first name to write down.- Okay content
- No unnecessary options
- Easy to browse
- The site is so fucking boring
- The design is horrible
- The whole concept of the site and their movie porn is horrible
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