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There are two kind of porn lovers in this world … there are the casual fappers, who watch porn somewhat recreationally, on occasion, maybe once or twice a week, and that is good enough for them. Then there are the serious porn addicts like me, who, no matter how many times they bust a nut in a day, it’s just never enough. I’m talking about serious porn connoisseurs. Pornoholics who rabidly foam at the mouth any time they see the curves of a beautiful woman. Or anytime they see anything that even vaguely resembles a beautiful woman’s curves.
I’ve gotten a boner from some really weird stuff in my day. Cellos, Coke bottles, Mrs. Buttersworth syrup bottles (oh, I would definitely fill her up my syrupy goodness) … heck, I’ve even gotten turned on by a particularly sexy flower once … What? It’s not that weird. Flowers look like vaginas sometimes! Just ask famous painter, Georgia O’Keeffe … although, I’m pretty sure she died in the ‘80s, so, unless you are a spiritual medium, you probably can’t. But look at her vagina flower paintings, then it will make a lot more sense.
I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with the casual fapper. That’s all good and dandy. Nothing wrong with having a healthy balance in your life, I guess. At least that’s what my therapist tells me. She has been trying to convert me to one of these casual fappers for years now. I keep telling her that it’s never going to happen, that it’s far too late for me (porn has become a way of life for me at this point), but that doesn’t stop her from trying. She thinks that I have a porn problem. I tell her the only time I have a problem with porn is when it’s illegal or I don’t have any!
Luckily, though, not having any porn has not been a problem that I’ve been faced with since, I don’t know, like the ‘90s or something? And that’s because of a couple of factors: A.) the internet is literally teeming with porn; so much so, that it’s much harder not to find porn these days (much of it absolutely free of charge) than it is to find it … we happen to be living in beautiful times, my friends, the golden age of porn, as I like to call it, and B.) I have fallen so deep down the rabbit hole of my porn obsession at this point, that I am always stocked up in case the WIFI ever goes down. I’m something of a doomsday prepper in that way, when it comes to porn. I have an external hard drive of something like 5,000 full-length pornos to keep me sated in case of such an emergency.
Then, of course, I always have my body pillow and girlfriend, Suki, to satisfy my extraordinary sexual desires in case, for whatever reason, I cannot access any of my porn. I cut a slit into the pillow, right down at the bottom, which I can hump to my heart’s (or, rather, my dong’s) content. And if I ever tire of her, it’s no problem at all, because I can always turn to my mistress, Dolly, my redheaded sex doll. Sometimes I like to use their poons while I watch porn, too, that is truly the ultimate masturbatory experience. I highly recommend you get a Suki and Dolly of your own.
The Golden Age of Porn Requires a Chrome Browser
But, as sites like my own and that of my hero, The Porn Dude will be clear evidence of, there is just so much porn available out there on the web. The well will never run dry! Oh, and if you haven’t already, please go check out The Porn Dude’s reviews. He does exactly what I do, but a million times better. In fact, I kind of copied everything that The Porn Dude does for this site. But he is the originator, the master of all things porno! Serious porn lovers, though, need a serious web browser to ensure that they are getting the best possible porn experience available. It’s not something that you think of all the time, is it? That your choice of web browser could have a huge impact on how much porn you can stream at once (not to mention how quickly). But it is a very important decision. Some browsers just lend themselves to porn much better than others. Which is why I use Google Chrome. The great debate of which web browser to use has kind of been whittled down to essentially two browsers … the two big guys. There is Google Chrome and there is Mozilla Firefox. I mean, come on, who the heck is still using Internet Explorer in 2019, am I right? Internet Explorer is about as washed up as a 60-year-old porn star with a prolapsed vagina. Good for nothing. Chrome, on the other hand, in my opinion, is the only web browser in the debate. There are many benefits to Chrome, both for porn usage and for other, more boring tasks. There is no question about it, though, in my mind. And I will never be converted to Firefox. I had it for a while at first, after it first came out, but I was very put off by slow streaming speeds, a relative lack of a user-friendly interface and streamlining, and a subpar ad blocker extension. With Google Chrome, though, all of those problems just melt away.Fastest Faps in the West
Google Chrome has some of the fastest streaming speeds imaginable. Ultimately, of course, your streaming capabilities will really depend on your internet connection, of course. But when you pair Chrome with even the most mediocre of WIFI speeds, I think you will be shocked by just how much porn you are suddenly able to stream, and how quickly your videos will buffer. Chrome is kind of like those dildo sex machines that you sometimes see in porn videos. You know, the ones that can drill a vagina at superhuman speeds? Get ready to fap at the speed of light, friends. In addition to that, though, I have always been blown away by just how many tabs Chrome can handle. Like a chick in the middle of a bukkake gangbang, Chrome can take it all in stride. I’ve had something like 50 or 60 tabs open on Chrome before, all of which were streaming different porn videos from different sites, and the browser didn’t even flinch. It is truly amazing in that way. Firefox or Explorer, on the other hand, have easily buckled under even half that load… Another thing that makes Chrome ideal for browsing porn is the fact that it comes with a built-in security feature. Chrome Security will keep you safe from phishing, dangerous sites, and blacklisted URLs. Which, if you watch even half as much porn as I do, you already know is an invaluable asset to have, since porn sites are not all top of the line and super professional. Chrome will still give you the option of visiting potentially dangerous sites, though, so your freedom won’t be limited at all, but you will at least have been warned beforehand and have to choose to click through anyway. So, then, it’s pretty much on you. Chrome security is like strapping a condom onto your web browser, protecting your computer from digital STDs left and right.Streamline Your Content Across All Devices
Another thing that I love about this web browser is the fact that everything you do, save, bookmark, and view on one device is streamlined and, therefore, easily accessible on another. Since Chrome uses your Google account to save your web browsing data, it doesn’t matter what you log in on, Chrome will let you pick right back up where you left off. Had to leave the house mid-fap while you were watching a particular hot and steamy video? Not a problem, pull up Chrome on your iPhone or Android and keep watching. Just like that. Never lose track of amazing pornos ever again! I don’t think that I could ever go back to Firefox now that I’ve had Chrome for so long. It is the be all, end all of web browsers, especially for porn, if you ask me. Honestly, it’s probably the only browser that could handle by insatiable need for porn. All those tabs, lightning-fast streaming speeds, streamlined access across all your devices, and a log (if you want it) of every site you’ve visited? You really can’t go wrong. Of course, you can always take advantage of Chrome’s convenient Incognito Mode as well, in case you don’t want all of your porn viewing to be documented and easy to find. Nobody needs their wife stumbling upon the weird pee or poo fetish sites that they visit on occasion (even if it’s just out of curiosity). This is another priceless feature that Chrome offers us chronic masturbators. Oh, and it’s free. So, absolutely nothing to lose. If you’re using Firefox right now, go download Chrome and drown in a sea of porn!- Free
- Streamlined access to content across all devices
- Fast
- Can handle many, many tabs at once
- Secure
- Security feature can be limiting at times
Find a better FREE porn web browser than CHROME on PornGeek!
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