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Porn.com
What kind of genius bought a site called Porn.com? I would expect that to come from a superhero like ThePornDude but I guess when you’re that alpha you don’t need a domain that everyone is going to type into their browser at least once. I wish I could go back in time a few decades and tell the father that abandoned me in a truck stop to buy this domain in my name so I could be a millionaire by 18. Then I wouldn’t have to live here with mother and would instead be living in an apartment eating Ramen, sleeping with my girlfriend, and watching anime all day long. And I wouldn’t have to work! And I could use lube for once! I wonder what that feels like? Is lube like touching a vagina like everyone says, or does it sting like the time I used battery acid on my penis? I still have the mark from that, though it looks like a lightning bolt similar to Harry Potter’s magic mark on his face.
Is it called a magic mark? Harry Potterheads help me out here. I will give you my phone number if you can reach out to me from here and we can talk about all kinds of things: Harry Potter, anime, Japanese RPGs, what kind of pizza rolls we eat. If my welfare check gets here by Friday, mother is going to buy me some new bacon and cheddar pizza rolls. I just hope she cooks them this time and I don’t have to eat them cold. We can talk about that too. Just please, will someone call me?
I am getting off subject again though. Ever since I dug up Sheilas remains and held the cotton and fabric in my hands in the rain, I haven’t been thinking clearly. The promise of pizza rolls were the only thing keeping me going. That is, until I stumbled across Porn.com.
Porn.com is the most natural-sounding domain among all other porn sites. I am pleased to say that Porn.com may just be one of the most well-designed free tube sites I have ever come across. Visiting it was like going to an all-female white knight buffet where I could stare at them endlessly, compliment them, show them how nice I am, and raise them up to let them know what a beautiful creature they are. It’s just what I needed because I’ve had a bad week. The kind of week where your fiancée is torn to shreds and buried in your backyard.
Will Porn.com help you to have a good week too? If it did for me it will for you too! Read below to find out why!
Sign up for a free account, join a community
Not only is signing up for a free account at Porn.com free and easy, but you will also join a huge community of people that also love white knighting themselves to their heart’s content. When signing up, you can find other females that want to be complimented and treated like goddesses by adding them as friends, messaging them, etc. A lot of the members post their favorite pictures and videos too, so you can learn more about their personality. I started following another mature woman, but this woman was a boring old white. As a white male, I have to say that I am tired of only getting answers from white women! Why can’t I go out of my race and speak to someone of a different race? I am all about diversity, people! Oh universe, please send me a woman of a different race preferably Asian so I can be the diverse male feminist I am!Porn.com premium is only $9.99 a month, worth it
You can judge the best free tube sites by whether or not they have a premium service and Porn.com is no exception. It’s competitively priced with other premium pornographic services and there’s no reason not to at least give it a try. I stole mother’s credit card right after I poured hot coffee into her CD tray to break her Internet monitoring software again (take that mother! Hah!) and tried it out and I have to say it was worth it for me. You get 1080p videos to start with. I watched a video of an old Indian man having sex with an Indian teen since I’m such a champion of diversity. I have to tell you, I felt like I could actually reach out and rub the old man’s testicles! I felt my hand pressing against the screen as I tried to tap it as a way of saying, “you may be old but you’re not out my dear elder.” I was so caught in the moment, I began licking the penis on the screen to act as an extra lubricant so the two of them would have a more comfortable experience.This is how you do categories!
Hands down, no other free tube site does categories better than Porn.com. That may sound like I’m pooping out of my mouth, but I assure you I haven’t done that in a while. What I can assure you of is that the subcategories are what make Porn.com’s categories truly shine. When looking around Porn.com’s vast array of main categories you will notice there are subcategories where it makes sense to have them. For example, I wanted to do more research on getting a job lubricating male penises with my mouth while they have intercourse. I went over to the licking category and found a variety of categories to choose from: ass licking, ball-licking, boob licking, and feet licking. I clicked on ball-licking because it never crossed my mind that balls get chafed during sexual intercourse so I did my research and wrote down my notes. Making it easy to find any kind of videos you need, Porn.com was there for me: when I needed to find a beautiful female to idolize and when I needed to do research for future employment!Over 600 tags to choose from
I have said it before and once more I shall say it again: the number of tags on a site will tell you the variety of females you can raise up and compliment in the comments section. Porn.com is no exception as they have over 600 tags to choose from. Many of these tags have a lot of videos too. I even noticed there was a tag for Jesus and it actually had a few dozen videos. I clicked on it hoping to spot Fat Jesus, the illegal immigrant that cleans my mother’s rug and carpet every Wednesday thinking it would be funny to say, “haha mother, I found our cleaning man and he is on an adult website.” But then mother would know I was on a pornographic website and she would once again take me outside in broad daylight, strip off my clothes, and spank my bottom while shouting the sins I had committed. I didn’t want to go through that again like I did yesterday, so I pressed the back button.Playlists and trending community playlists when you’re in a mood
Another sign that a free tube site knows what it is doing is when it has playlists. This is handy because a lot of times I know what kind of mood I’m in but it can take a while to find the right video of a female I want to uplift. Playlists take this pain out of the equation but Porn.com goes a step further. They also show trending playlists so you can know which playlists are the most popular among visitors on the site. It’s a keen addition that made me gee-whiz to myself over and over again because it was such a great idea. I couldn’t find a playlist where you can contact lovely ladies directly and shower them with affection and confidence though, so maybe I need to start searching for other male feminists like myself that visit Porn.com on occasion.Live cams if you want to watch streamers show off their confidence
If you want to shower lovely creatures with confidence immediately though, Porn.com even makes this happen! Porn.com hosts its own live cams and judging by how many females were on at once I would wager that it is popular. If you have visited other cam sites then you know what to expect. The ladies were beautiful, my ghost penis became fully erect by the conversations they were having alone, and I spermed in my hand when one of them started to sing "showtunes". The amount of talent and confidence these females have live on cam is so inspiring, and I can’t wait to ejaculate to their personalities all over again tonight! Porn.com is one of those rare free tube sites that hits all the right notes and does nearly everything right. It’s hard to find a complaint to say about Porn.com except that it can be overwhelming to know what to do first. Sure, you can just browse living works of art and admire the female body like normies do but there is so much more to do: have a conversation about leveling up Squirtle in Pokemon with a lovely confident creature, look at playlists that suit your mood, and follow community members that you can befriend and write letters to every day. I know I will be coming back for more, and you will be too!- Reasons to have a free account. You can save your preferences, chat with other members, add videos and pictures, and more!
- Porn.com Premium is competitively priced, worth it.
- Categories with subcategories: this is how you do categories!
- Mobile and desktop versions are well designed and fast!
- Over 600 tags. Fat Jesus wasn’t anywhere but I’m sure he’s on a porn site somewhere.
- Random button when you can’t decide which female to idolize.
- Over 800 channels from popular adult brands.
- Live cams to shower beautiful females with compliments.
- Night mode for when I touch my little pecker in the dark.
- So much to do it can be overwhelming!
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