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PornDitos

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Porn Ditos aka Culioneros.com probably has the best logo and tagline combination in porn. They claim that they are the “Craziest Motherfuckers In Good Porn,” and they back up the craziness part of that assertion with the fact that their logo is a penis with a slightly racist Mexican-style moustache, sombrero, and holster (around one of the testicles).

So all that’s left to prove them right (or wrong) is whether or not their porn is good. And, thankfully, they don’t let us down. Aside from the logo, the site itself isn’t that crazy, but if you believe my therapist then I’m crazy enough without inviting others in to my life, so that’s probably a good trade off.

Welcome To The Family

PornDitos itself isn’t really a single porn site, but rather a family of sites that fall under its banner. I should warn you that the subsites are all named in Spanish. The descriptions and video titles are all in English, so it’s not going to ruin your jerk-off experience, but you might have trouble deciphering them. Since I, however, am an educated and cultured man (meaning that I have access to Google Translate), I’ll give you a quick run-down of what your money will buy you.

First off is “Sexo En Publico”, which, if you’re really slow, you may not realize means public sex. If you’re wondering what this subsite contains, go back to school and learn how to read.

Another self-explanatory site is “Mi Primer Porno,” meaning My First Porno—videos of girls who have allegedly never had sex on film and never will again, but something about how well they handled the whole experience leads me to believe that neither of those things are true.

Next up is “Por el Chiquito,” which seems to translate to “For The Little Boy.” I hope, for the sake of myself after the FBI agents who are likely following me read what I’ve been searching, that this is a bad translation. This site seems to just have standard Latina porn, so I’m now sure how young boys are involved.

The award for the most generic site goes to “Chicas de Porno”—Girls of Porn. And, shockingly, this site does, in fact, contain girls doing porn! Beyond that, though, these are the most typical standard porn videos on the site—but don’t let that dissuade you: they also host some of the biggest names in porn, like Jayden James, Christy Mack, and Abella Anderson.

I wasn’t able to translate the next site—“Tetangas Espanola” through Google Translate, which I now realize was likely a misguided attempt by Google to protect my innocence. A quick Google Images search helped me figure it out quickly: Tetangas are tits, and Tetangas Espanola are Spanish ones. Again, now that it’s been translated, even the slowest of us should be able to figure out what this site holds. And though I didn’t realize it before, I’m now realizing that Spanish girls have some of the nicest tits I’ve ever seen, so I’m happy to have found these tetangas.

We’re only half way there! If you need to take a break, feel free to sign up for Pornditos, bust one out, and come back, but don’t give up on me just yet. The best is yet to come, and there’s a lot left to go over.

One of my favorite of their sites is “Costenas Locas”, which basically translates to “Crazy girls from the coast.” Which, as it turns out after watching these videos, are pretty much my favorite types of girls. These are South American babes, while most of the girls on Pornditos are from Spain. I can’t really tell the difference, but it seems like my dick can, because these videos get me off quick.

There’s another loco site coming up: this one is “Tetonas Locas,” which seems to mean “Crazy Tits.” I was going to complain about how misleading Spanish was, with both tetonas and tetangas seemingly meaning tits, but when we have tits, boobs, breasts, knockers, and a thousand and one other ways of talking about milkbags, I guess I’m not one to judge. Further, I’m not sure if tits can actually be crazy—but, if they can, these are the ones.

Next up in the body-part subsites is “Nalgas Grandas”—or, big asses. I would guess that at least two-thirds of the girls on every other PornDitos site have big asses, but here that gets bumped up to 100%, and they’re even bigger. It’s a buttlovers’ dream.

Google Translate has also failed me on “Chiva Culiona,” but I can tell you what the site is about since I made the sacrifice of watching (and enjoying) a few (hundred) of their videos in preparation for this review. It’s just Spanish BangBus. Google tells me chiva means child, and it won’t tell me what culiona means, so I’m not sure how they got from Chiva Culiona to knock-off BangBus, but I’m happy they made the journey because this site makes me want to ride a bus down to Mexico myself. If only I actually spoke Spanish…

Last, but most certainly not least, is “Cuchi Mami”—essentially, meaning “cute mommy.” It’s the MILF subsite on PornDitos, and it brings a lot of diversity to the site while still being exclusive to mature women. You’ll find big and small asses, light and dark Latinas, and everything in between.

Travelling Through The Latin World

Between those ten sites, almost all of the videos are great. They’re long, they’re usually in HD, and the girls are attractive and willing to do just about anything for a shot at fame. Please keep that it mind for the rest of this review, because I don’t want you to think that PornDitos isn’t fantastic.

But, with that being said, it has an absolutely pitiful set of navigational features underlying its fantastic content. You basically have three ways of navigating the family as a whole or any individual sites: you can view the most popular videos, the most recent videos, or a directory of the girls featured in each video. Inside those categories, you don’t really have choices: you just have to scroll through until you find something you like, then hope for the best. Thankfully, a vast majority of the videos are great, so you could probably click at random and find something that makes you blow your load in your jeans as you’re whipping your cock out (or is that just me?)

They’re so close to nailing this aspect of the site. Just a few sorting, searching, or tagging options would fix things. A pornstar directory is a great start, but when the girls are listed at random and not accompanied by any discovery tools, it’s so much less useful than it could be. Yes, you can still scroll through until one catches your eye (or your cock, or your heart), but just a little bit more effort on the part of PornDitos would really transform the site.

Paying The Pesos

PornDitos can either be a little bit overpriced or an incredible value, depending on how long you sign up for. The base two-day one-dollar trial is a great way to test the site out, but make sure you cancel or switch plans on time, otherwise, it will renew at a rip-off price of forty dollars per month. Your other options are a basic month-to-month plan for thirty bucks, or an incredible value if you sign up for a full year at a time, which will work out to just about a ten-dollar bill each month.

Limited features aside, I still think that the quality and quantity that you get with PornDitos makes it worth a spot in your porno rotation, especially with the long-term membership plans. It’s not like you’re only getting one type of video—between the group of sites that make up the PornDitos family (all of which are included in your membership), almost every single one is individually worth the subscription price, so together they make up more than a good deal.

You’re paying about a dollar a site when you really think about it. The only real drawback is the lack of variety—and I hesitate to even call it a drawback, because aside from the fact that nearly all of the girls are Latina, there really isn’t any lack of variety here. Aside from the lack of ethnic variety, basically every type and style of porn is covered by PornDitos. Sure, you’re stuck with videos of brown girls, but is that really a bad thing?

PornGeek likes PornDitos

  • Huge collection of subsites
  • Each site has an incredibly variety of sexy porn

PornGeek hates PornDitos

  • Very few navigational features
  • If you’re not a Latin lover, you’ll have to look elsewhere