The search for the perfect porn site is literally never over. It is what I do. Day in and day out. Week after week. Month after month. And I have been doing it for years now. It is my calling. What I was born to do. Like Neo, I am the chosen one. But mine is a MatriXXX. I truly believe, though, that I will, one day, finally find the perfect porn site. And when that day comes, I will finally be able to retire.
Not from watching porn. Jeez, come on, I’m not that much of a loser, guys! Give me some credit! No, once I find the perfect porn site, obviously, I will be able to spend the rest of my days fapping to that site and that site alone. That is what will make it perfect. It will never get old, it will have enough to offer to keep me interested for hours upon hours on end, it will (ideally) be free (and if it costs money, it will be well worth the price tag!), and the quality will all be top-notch, premium level amazingness that will make me jizz almost on command every time I go.
I wonder what kind of porn site it will be. Will the perfect porn site be a premium pay porn site, specializing in certain kinds of content? Like a Netflix of porn? Or will it be a Virtual Reality site, allowing me to slip off into a fantasy world and never want to return to the real one? Maybe it will be a free porn tube that manages to upload and curate all the best premium and amateur porn in the world (as well as offer some compelling community features and minimal ads)? Honestly, it’s almost impossible to say. All I know for sure is that, when I do finally find the perfect porn site, I will know it when I see it. There will be nothing up for debate.
The Potential of Free Porn Tubes
I really like the free porn tube model, though, as far as kinds of porn sites are concerned. It’s a brilliant one, if you think about it … to offer up a butt load of free porn to users with no strings attached (other than ads). Well, it seems like there is no strings attached anyway. But a lot of the free porn tubes out there, especially the ones that we all know and love – like Porn Hub, Red Tube, xHamster, You Porn, etc. – do, in fact, have strings.
And they manifest themselves in the way that they are actually, behind the scenes, meant to serve more like a giant advertising platform for premium pay porn sites. That’s why so many of the videos are clips and why it can be such a hassle to find full-length scenes on these sites. They are meant to give you previews of premium content, nothing more, to seduce you into signing up for memberships with the sites that you do like.
But, thankfully, not every free porn tube that exists on the internet is molded in this fashion. Some of them do function as beacons of free porn, uploading mostly full, uncut scenes from the best porn studios in the industry and expecting nothing in return but your click-throughs and ad revenue. They are rare, but they are out there. And I am here, of course, to help you navigate through the slush to find them!
Just like my hero before me, The Porn Dude, I am here to guide you to all the best free porn tubes there are. I may not seem like a worthy guide at a glance. I all but plagiarize the best porn site reviewer man has ever known, I am a 37-year-old virgin, I have an imaginary girlfriend named Suki (who is also my lovely body pillow), and I cheat on Suki with a redheaded sex doll called Dolly. But, hey, if there is one thing that I know for sure, it is porn. In fact, my sad, sad life should be nothing if not a buffer of credibility. Of course, I know porn. It’s the only good thing I have going for me!
A Very Promising Candidate…
So, follow me down the rabbit hole of porn as we continue our quest for the perfect free porn tube. Today’s candidate? Likuoo Video. As soon as you land on Likuoo’s home page, it should make a solid first impression. I really like the way this site is designed. It’s, honestly, a breath of fresh air considering the fact that a lot of these lesser-known free porn tube sites tend to have a sloppy design. Not Likuoo, though, Likuoo is unlike other free porn tubes in a number of ways, and this is the first one.
The site is sleek, minimalist, clean, and looks good. At the very top of the page, instead of the usual site menu bar that most sites default to (because perhaps they lack imagination), Likuoo has a slender search bar and its logo, which doubles as a home button. The site menu bar, instead, lives on the left-hand side of the page, sprawling downward vertically, which only adds to the site’s classy appearance. Even this is minimal. Choose from Home. Fuck Now, Live Cams, or The Porn Dude (see, these guys clearly have good taste).
Below that, also cascading down the side of the page, you have a section labeled Topics. Here, you can choose from things like At Work, Babysitter, Blackmail, Cheating, Maid, School, Nurse, Stepdad, Stepdaughter, Wife, etc. It’s basically a list of scenarios … which is pretty novel, honestly, and something you do not see all that often (surprisingly) in a porn site.
Keep scrolling down the side menu bar and you’ll find a more traditional list of categories. This list, alternately, is where you will find more general stuff, such as HD Videos 720p, HD Videos, 1080p, Amateur, Anal, Brunettes, Bukkake, Gang Bang, Latin, Redheads, Threesomes, Group Sex, Teens, etc. There is also a View All Categories button to take you to a whole page chock full of nearly every category you could think of. Then, under that, conveniently enough, in the same format is a list of Porn Stars. The girls, from what I can assume, are listed by their popularity on the site (because they are not alphabetized).
Full-Length Pornos for Free!
The second thing about Likuoo that immediately stands out to me is the fact that the videos all seem to be full scenes. None of that clipped, cut, sneak preview BS on this site. None of those annoying 5 to 7-minute scenes that are not long enough to fap yourself to fruition. Well, unless you’re me … in which case, all you need is a minute or less! I should probably consider doing some endurance training, shouldn’t I? What difference will it make, though? It’s not like I have anyone I need to satisfy! As long as I get off, why should I care how long it takes? There are some liberating aspects to being a perpetual virgin, it turns out. It’s not all bad, guys!
Other than that stuff, though, Likuoo is a very straightforward site. Nothing but page after page after page of high-quality, full-length HD porn, all for free. There are even some cool additional features as well. Use the button in the top right-hand corner of the page to instantly toggle Night mode on or off, for example. Personally, I love it when sites have that. The white backgrounds can be rough on the eyes after a while.
A Bit Basic
Actually, maybe I should have said “one cool additional feature,” because, come to think of it, that’s all Likuoo really offers. You cannot like or dislike videos. You cannot comment on them. You cannot download them. There is nothing in the way of community features. You can’t even register as a user of the site. As I said, it is a very straightforward free porn tube. Nothing but great porn, instantly and absolutely free of charge. And, I suppose, at the end of the day, that’s all a free porn tube really needs to be, isn’t it? Although community features certainly never hurt…
They might not have new uploads as frequently as, say, Porn Hub or a comparable free porn tube (which is another downfall to opting out of allowing users to upload videos), but they do put new scenes up every day. So, it’s not like you’ll have to wait around for a week or so before returning to Likuoo to see new content. At least the moderators keep it up to date. That’s always a plus.
Is Likuoo the perfect porn site? No, I don’t think so. But, on the other hand, is Likuoo one of the best free porn tubes I have seen in a long time? Absolutely, it is. As long as you only care about the porn and none of the fancy additional features, Likuoo (often misspelled as “likouu”, “likeoo” and “likuoo.com”) is a great free porn tube for full-length HD premium and amateur porn!
PornGeek likes Likuoo
- Full-length movies!
- Absolutely free
- Ads are not ridiculous
- Tons of porn
- Daily uploads
PornGeek hates Likuoo
- No advanced search
- No thumbnail previews
- No additional features
- No user uploads