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HPJAV
HP JAV! You know, they say that Japanese girls love nerdy foreigners. I was so excited to finally go over there. I packed the condoms that I kept in my wallet, a little bottle of lube, and wore my best vest in the hopes of finally “scoring” as the chads say. I walked the streets of 新宿区, that’s “Shinjuku” for those of you that don’t even know how to speak the best language on earth, which is their red-light district. There were pretty ladies on every street corner beckoning guys in left and right, but they wouldn’t even take my money!
I offered to pay double the yen and they just turned me away. Ugh, I can’t even pay someone to have sex with me. Maybe I should start showering more than once every couple of weeks, or maybe it’s my clothes. ThePornDude would know how to get with all of these Asian hotties. I bet he’s a god among men over here. So tall, muscular, and… everything I’m not. Fuck me he’s just so cool.
But at least here in Japan, there are so many sex shops full of doujinshi, hentai, and sex toys. I can still have a good time even if it’s just me sitting alone in my capsule hotel trying not to make too much noise. They also have a lot of great porn sites over here. One of the better JAV sites is called Hpjav.tv. It’s free, so I don’t have to spend any of my doujin money on it, and they have a big selection of censored and uncensored videos to fap to. It’s only been around since 2018 and they bring in over 43 million horny guys like me to the site every month.
Plain Site Design With a Whole Lot of Annoying Ads
It looks like a lot of these free JAV sites do. I would know, I’m practically Japanese with all the stuff I know about them at this point. There are two things you’ll probably notice first, aside from the beautiful honeys posing for you in the previews. The site is very bright. It’s all white and gets my migraines all worked up. The second thing is that there are a whole lot of ads. And they aren’t just banners or other cute things like that. You get redirected to sites asking you to download programs or ones that make harsh buzzing noises when you try to back out. That’s just not cool! Luckily for you, you’re getting advice from a professional hacker and computer whiz. Turn on your ad blocker and don’t download that stuff. See, bet you never thought of that. Besides that bad stuff, they have a header longer than the list of awards I got at last year’s collegiate science competition. Sure, yeah, most of them were just for participation, but those still count! My mom says so.Lots of Browsing Options and Lots of Videos to Choose From
The header has a list of options for censored or uncensored videos, amateur movies, Chinese subtitles, models, categories, and the rest are just links to other sites that I won’t bother boring you with. The homepage is broken up by featured videos up top, censored JAV next, then uncensored videos, and finally amateur videos. And they have a lot of videos in each section. Censored has over 42 thousand, uncensored has nearly 16 thousand, and amateur almost has 10 thousand. Wow! Talk about a lot of Japanese cuties being naughty. The categories and tags page has hundreds, if not over a thousand, options to choose from, with each one telling you how many videos are in it. I’ll tell you some of my favorites: “Kawaii (that means cute for those of you who don’t know the culture as I do), Premature Ejaculation (It makes me feel good knowing that guys that last as long as me still have a chance), and Sexy sis. I mean, if your sister is a 10/10 hottie then we’ve all thought of it, right? I still have a little peephole where I watch her get dressed when she stays with my mom and me. Those are the best faps ever. I get all hot and bothered just thinking about her.The Most Beautiful Japanese Porn Stars Ever
The only thing better than her are these gorgeous Japanese girls you can browse on the models' page. I wish any of them were in my league. All the sexy full-length previews show off ladies that only hot guys like ThePornDude could get. I mean, how am I supposed to even compete with him? He’s so original, creative, and just so, so cool compared to me. At least I can drown my sorrows with these squealing girls like Hatano Yui. She has over 800 full-length movies! From there you can use any one of the “Amateur, Chinese Sub, Uncensored, Censored, or Hot” pages to get a full list of videos in that section. Each page is pretty much the same, so there’s no use telling you about each one. The previews are good. You get a thumbnail of the cover or a shot from one of these scenes of the movie, view count, JAV code, and title. I do wish it told you how long the video was, though it’s not like I’ll be doing anything else during the day but fapping anyway.Poor Video and Mobile Experience
I’d have better luck getting laid than getting these videos to laid. Sure, yeah, that might be stretching the truth a little, but, still, these videos aren’t great. You don’t even get a play button if you have an ad blocker on, which is fine. You just have to subject yourself to a half dozen pop-ups before you get the option to actually play the videos. And when you try to it doesn’t even load. I tried all the different servers and it took me 10 minutes for a video to even play, and then it just buffered like crazy! Awful. You can try and download them instead, but all of the links are off-site. I may not be able to get laid, but even I’m not dumb enough to go clicking on those links. When they do play, the quality is good. It’s not going to stand up to the 8k widescreen monitor I have, but you get somewhere around 720p. The mobile site is okay, but there’s still all of those ads, and the videos don’t load quickly. It’s not very good for trying to rub out a quickie before your parents get home that’s for sure. At least everything is designed well enough. No scaling issues or terrible features. That still doesn’t mean it’s a good experience though.PornGeek’s Favorite Features
The selection was great. Not many JAV sites can boast tens of thousands of uncensored and censored videos for you to jerk off to. All of the videos are full length, so, assuming they load, I would love to sit down and fap for hours upon hours to these cute Japanese waifus. And it all being free was great too. I didn’t have to sacrifice any of my weekly allowances to browse the catalog or download the sexy videos that they have. If only I could experience a Japanese hottie with nice perky tits in real life. I think I’d cum right then and there without her even touching. Just to hear her whisper “Oniisan” in my ear would do the trick.PornGeek’s Suggestions
Get a better server. My Minecraft server streams better than this site does. None of the videos loading was a huge bummer. I was still able to nut a few times to the previews, but that’s not the same, you know? If that issue was fixed than most of the other things become minor. Yeah, the ads are horrendous, but what free JAV site isn’t like that?PornGeek’s Final Thoughts
Overall, Hpjav.tv is a decent enough JAV site, but you’ll probably be hard-pressed to actually watch any of the videos on here. The site design is okay. Aside from the annoying ads, you’re getting a solid experience. If the videos loaded like they’re supposed to then it would be a great site for jerking off to full-length movies of censored and uncensored JAV hotties.- Free JAV videos
- Full length uncensored, censored, and amateur movies
- Lots of different categories and tags to choose from
- Poor video streaming
- Lots of annoying ads
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