MoviePorn! If you are anything like me, then there is a good chance that pornos are not the only films that you watch. I mean, don’t get me wrong, porn definitely comprises like 70 to 80% of the movies that I consume. I am definitely not going to sit here and attempt to deny that. I watch a heck of a lot of porn, no question about it. In fact, my therapist tells me that I watch too much porn … but what does she know? She is hot, though, most of the time during our sessions I just fantasize that they are about to break out into a hot and spicy porno between counselor and patient. I would definitely let her probe much more than just my mind, that’s for sure!But that witch aside, I really do have other interests. This may come as a surprise for those of you who have been following my reviews for a little while now. Because it definitely seems like all I talk about is porn, porn, and more porn, right? Well, genius, that is because this is a site that is dedicated to reviewing porn! I wouldn’t sit here and bore you with my thoughts on nuclear proliferation or my views on Brexit. Heck, you came here to find out what sites are going to be good to make you cum, and that is precisely what I give you. Just like my hero, The Porn Dude, who does the same exact thing, albeit it much more skillfully …I do like normal movies too. The only problem is that 99% of the time when I am watching a normal film, about halfway through I kind of just wish that it would turn into a porno. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have watched Star Wars and thought to myself, alright, let’s get it over with … Han Solo needs to burst into Jaba the Hut’s lair right now, shoot Jaba and his cronies, and just take his prize in Princess Leia. Because, as we all know, that is, by far, the hottest version of the Princess … when she’s dressed up in that sexy little slave outfit. Mm … I would like to make her my slave.But I never will. For a few reasons. For one, well, Princess Leia does not exist. She is not a real person, unfortunately. And secondly, that will never happen because I will never have the guts to turn any girl into my sex slave. Heck, I’ll probably never have the guts to do anything with the word “sex” in it in relation to another living human female. I mean, sure, I have my body pillow, Suki, who I have been humping myself to sleep since I was like 20 years old. And I have Dolly, my pretty little ginger sex doll, with whom I sometimes cheat on Suki (shh … don’t tell her!). But I could never actually get a girl to give me the time of day, let alone agree to have consensual intercourse with me!
Finally, Your Favorite Fictional Characters in XXX FormThe point is, though, there are so many movies that have characters who are just dripping sex appeal, and who are begging to be screwed senseless. And it is always such a shame when, by the end of the movie, there isn’t even a single sex scene involving her! It’s always such a darn shame. Sometimes I wish I could get my money back when that happens. It should be a law that if your movie has an extremely attractive female protagonist in it, a sex scene is a requirement. t least some side boob!Luckily, though, there are plenty of movie parody porn sites out there to enjoy. If you have never seen or heard of what I mean, parody porn is when somebody makes a porno based on a popular movie or TV show. They find a porn star who looks at least a little bit like the character in question … whether that is, indeed, Princess Leia, or it is Lara Croft, Harley Quinn, Cat Woman, or some other fictional vixen … and then they set the porno up with some situation that could conceivably have taken place in the show or movie, and voila! You have parody porn!The thing is, it’s really hard to do this well. So, as is the case with any porn site, there is a great deal of disparity when it comes to the quality of parody porn. One that I have always admired, though, is Movie Porn, and that is the site we will be taking a look at today.
No BS, Just HQ Porn ParodiesCould they get any simpler or straight forward with the name of their site? Probably not. Movie Porn. It says everything it needs to say. Nothing more, nothing less. Porn based on movies. Simple as pie. But that is not what is impressive about this site. No, what I think is incredible about this site is how skillfully these movies are made. Movie Porn does not go halfway with anything. These films must have enormous budgets, because everything about them is incredible: the graphics, the women, the acting, the cinematography. For a genre of film that is definitely not known for these features, Movie Porn is a trailblazer of the art.They have plenty of familiar titles too. Some of which are movies that definitely needed pornos based off of them. You have some classics to enjoy, such as Star Whores: A New Hole (finally, live out your Princess Leia fantasy with a believable double), Lara Croft’s Cock Raider, The Matrixxx, and (my personal favorite) Porndora (based on the critically acclaimed James Cameron film, Avatar).Then, Movie Porn also has some titles that you probably hoped would never be turned into pornos. Like their parody of Stephen King’s It, The Mummy Princess: The Ancient Slut Returns, and Edward Cumminghands. These may not be the first films that come to mind when you think of movies that would have made good pornos, but they are still fun (and well done) nonetheless. Plus, they all have cult followings, many of whom, I’m sure would be overjoyed to learn that there are porno versions out there of their favorite movies.The site design, too, is of high quality. Nothing is cluttered or hard to find. The whole site is minimalist and easy to use … intuitive. I love the stripped-down design … all you have is a banner at the top of the page, which presents a slideshow of movies to view, then all of the options for you to choose from. A porn parody library at your fingertips.
Some Definite Letdowns…The only thing about it is, unfortunately, that the library is not exactly vast. On the entire site, there is a grand total of only 14 porn parody movies to enjoy. So, if quantity is something that you value in a porn site (and if you’re paying money, then, frankly, it probably should be) Movie Porn might be a little disappointing for you. However, when you consider how much money and time it seems like it takes for them to make these films, their relative lack of quantity starts to make a lot of sense. So, if you are a quality over quantity person and do not mind revisiting your favorite films over and over again, this will likely not even be an issue for you.Another downfall of this site lies in the lengths of the movies. For a site called Movie Porn that is making pornos based on films that usually run at least 90 minutes in length, the run times of these porn parodies are disappointingly short. Some only last 7 minutes! That seems like an atrocity, and almost a bastardization of the films that they pay tribute to. I’m going to chock it up, again, to budget though. When you’re making stuff that looks this good, you can’t afford to shoot too much of it. Plus, if you are a minute man like I am, length doesn’t matter much at all!Beyond that, it is also a bit of a bummer that you cannot rate or comment on videos on this site. I always like for my porn sites to have some aspect of a community feel to them, or at the very least to have some unique user features. You know, I like to feel like my money is valued, that I am valued by my porn site. And the least they could do is let their users discuss and rate the videos on their site.All in all, these videos are all about the quality of filming. And the porn is pretty hot too. Plus, you get to live out lifelong fantasies of screwing all your favorite fictional characters! Amen, brother.