Tranny Surprise

The videos on TrannySurprise follow a fairly consistent theme. A girl is fully clothed. She seduces a man. They begin to kiss. Usually, she starts to give him head. Everything is fine in the world of the hypermasculine homophobic man that is on the receiving end. Until… oh, what’s this? He reaches down to slip a finger in and finds that there is not a hole where he expects a hole to be. Instead, he finds a cock.And how do you expect him to react? In the real world, things might not go so well. In a best-case scenario, he might ask politely to leave. Or, if he’s like me, as in he’s totally completely straight but also very polite and desperate for human contact, he might continue the encounter unenthusiastically.Or, if you’re less optimistic, things might get violent. Many men operate with very fragile masculinity, and the sudden realization that the woman they’ve been making out with has a bigger dick than they do might set them off. They might become angry or violent. In the world of Tranny Surprise, however, the endings are much happier. They might put up some vaguely believable front of resistance, but every single time, after the revelation occurs, they rub, suck, and take that cock up their asses like the good boys they are. It might not be realistic, but it sure is hot.

Finding The Right Hole

The site functions as unbelievable as well as the porn it carries. It’s a familiar format, but it’s familiar for a reason. When you pull up the site, pull down your pants, and pull out your cock, the scenes are sorted from most to least recent. Because these are all high-budget and high-effort productions, there isn’t a bad one in the lot—you could essentially just scroll for a second, click on whatever catches your eye, and get down to business in just a few seconds. Or, if you’re still not looking for anything specific but nothing that came out recently looks worth your time, you can also sort by rating or view count.For the incredibly picky porn viewer, there are a few more options. You can sort by categories, and, unlike on so many free tube sites, the categories actually describe what’s in them. Yes, premium porn sites cost money, but they’re also curated—the free sites might have more content, but it's uploaded and tagged by people, and we all know that people can’t be trusted. If you click on a video in the anal category, you’re going to find anal—and avoiding the shock that comes with being let down there is worth the price of admission alone, in my eye.

The Price Of The Pucker

The proposition with Tranny Surprise is pretty straightforward. If you don’t like the concept, it won’t be worth any price, no matter how cheap. If, on the other hand, the deception and revelation turns you on as much as it does me, you’ll pay anything to get access. For those of you that are in between, you’ll need to undertake a detailed study of the pros and cons of signing up. Or, if you’re lazy, just read the next couple of paragraphs, and thank me for doing the hard work later. If you’re a guy, I take tips. If you’re a girl, you can take my tip.As is often the case, you’ll have to make a commitment if you want the best of the best. Signing up for an entire year will lock you in at the most affordable rate that Tranny Surprise has—just a touch under ten dollars a month. You can celebrate your renewal day like a holiday, and live with the peace of mind that you’re saving as much money as possible (to use on other porn sites, if you’re at all like me).Your other value options are a third of a year in exchange for what works out to about twenty bucks a month, or a monthly plan for an extra ten each month. In my mind, these plans are both objectively worse, though: if you’ve got any sense, start with the two-day two-dollar trial to see if you like Tranny Surprise (and if you’re comfortable enough with your sexuality to not cry after you jerk off to the site), then either quite or bite the bullet and join up for a year. The half-measures just aren’t worth it if you’re honest with yourself.Don’t let your guard down, though: there’s much more of a surprise hidden here than the cock that you expect to show up. If you don’t cancel or renew the trial, you’ll get fucked in the ass (in a bad way). Yes, you’re going to start off at the dollar per day agreed rate, but that trial will automatically continue at an exorbitantly expensive forty dollars a month if you don’t keep your eye on the ball(s).Your punishment for lack of attention is that for the next month (or months, if it takes you a while to catch it) will be being stuck paying a price that you couldn’t even choose to pay if you wanted to. You wanted to save a bit of money and be cautious, but now you’re getting fucked to the tune of an extra ten dollars per month—enough to pay for an entire month at the yearly rate.And, on top of that, none of these membership plans are actually full-featured. Even if you sign up for a full year at a time, you won’t get what is considered basic functionality on a lot of other porn sites—the ability to download videos. Yes, it’s true that Tranny Surprise still has worthwhile content at almost any price, but this deception hurts. It doesn’t hurt enough to make me consider not signing up, or not springing for the download capability, but it hurts enough for me to complain about—and if Tranny Surprise won’t listen, at least I have you guys as a captive audience.

Girls With Extra Bits

And for those of you who don’t like trannies? I say grow up to you, you fucking bigots. In the modern world, we accept and love everyone, regardless of gender dysphoria. For whatever reason, this love and acceptance doesn’t seem to apply to how people feel about me, but regardless, I’m not going to let that stop me from showing my appreciation for transwomen the only way I know how: by objectifying them and masturbating to them.Or just masturbate to one of the many other sites that you get access to alongside Tranny Surprise, since it comes with access to every single Reality Kings site. I’m no social justice warrior, so why would I care? The only reason I pretend to be on the trannies’ side is so that one of them might fuck me someday.You know and love a bunch of these sites—they’re the same ones that have been around forever, populating the big tube sites with official five-minute preview videos and illegal rips of the full things. Between them you’ve got sites like MILF Hunter, We Live Together, Big Naturals, 8th Street Latinas, Round And Brown, and a whole lot more, covering practically every type of porn that exists.Though I must say, one of these jumped out at me at being very offensive. Let’s ignore the connotations of how Tranny Surprise must make transgender people feel right now—the real issue is the Reality Kings site called Teens Love Huge Cocks. That is totally unfair to guys with average cocks like me—where is Teens Love Three Inch Cocks?I won’t stand for this discrimination. It’s time that I fight for what I believe in. For too long men like me have been avoided, mocked, and treated like second class citizens. I’m going to boycott Reality Kings and all others who speak ill of me and my small-cocked brethren. Well… the videos on Teens Love Huge Cocks are pretty hot. I’ll start not standing for this discrimination once I’m done jerking off.