Rush Porn! I finally did it: I tried masturbating for the first time last night. I had actually never done it before because my penis was never big enough. Sure, I had tried different methods: tweezers, the bathtub faucet, mother’s coin purse that looks like a vagina. Nothing worked until I watched one of the hottest hentai videos I’ve ever seen. I’m not going to link to it because…well, I’m just not going to do it okay? It’s beside the point though: for the first time in my life, I felt my little penis growing.I grabbed the bottom of my penis and started to jiggle it. I shook my penis harder, faster, but nothing was happening. I didn’t feel anything! I grasped the bottom of the penis harder this time. I couldn’t see it since naturally my penis was in my hand so I squeezed until I felt like no blood was running to it any longer. When that happened, I began to try to jump my wall hoping to feel something that way.But nothing happened.
I thought maybe my pee-pee didn’t work so I decided to stick it in a shampoo bottle cap. I shoved it in and tied a rubber band around it hoping to keep it on. That didn’t work either. It kept falling off and I was running out of options. Even sticking my penis between the mattress and bed frame didn’t work because my stomach hit the mattress before my penis would even touch it.Finally, I did the only thing I knew to do: I dug Sheila my Hentai pillow out of the ground and decided that it was time to lose my virginity. I dug around the yard all night, desperate to find where mother buried her. After five hours of digging up the yard and not finding her, I passed out in the rain exhausted and desperately wanting to feel the sweet touch of an orgasm for the first time.That’s when lady luck showed her face and gave me the encounter of a lifetime. It may not sound like much but when I was lying in the rain exhausted and unable to move, a stray cat walked up and began licking my penis. I wanted to scream and tell it to just go away…but I kind of liked it. Its sandpaper tongue on the head of my penis was exhilarating and I’m not afraid to say I shot out a load that could have put out the great California wildfires. It was an amazing feeling. And I lost my virginity on top of it!I walked back inside feeling like sharing my good story with others. I found a site called Rushporn hoping to tell a lovely story this tale of redemption and success in the comments section of a lovely ladies’ video. I had a decent stay and I think you might like it too. Find out more about my visit below!
Fantastic sorting options
One of the things I like most about Rushporn is how many sorting options there are. Sure, you can sort by longest, top-rated, most viewed, and newest on the homepage. That’s typical and expected.Where Rushporn shines brighter than many other similar free tube sites is when you start browsing other sections of the site. These sensible sorting options are extended to browsing by adult stars (sort by recent, number of videos, rated, and views). You can even browse channels by popular, top-rated, most viewed, and of course new. It’s a nice touch you don’t see on most free tube sites and it’s a feature other sites should consider implementing.
Simple, functional layout
I don’t like feeling as if I need a rocket science degree to navigate a free tube site. I mean, once I unlock the hidden powers of my mind I could get a rocket science degree in two years rather than four since I’m on a different plane of consciousness than your average human but I would need to first be accepted to an institution that isn’t afraid of my potential. Universities fear what I could become, but that’s the curse you learn to live with when you’re an enlightened white knight like me!Rushporn is absolutely simple to use! Whether we are talking about the mobile or desktop versions of the site I never had a difficult time choosing a beautiful creature to uplift and stare at for the evening. Simplicity is king when it comes to free tube sites and Rushporn is a perfect example of this.
Switching between video resolutions is instantaneous
There is nothing I hate worse than noticing that I am watching a beautiful lady show off her personality in a poopy resolution and trying to switch to a higher resolution like 720p or 1080p. On many free tube sites it takes forever for the video to reload, buffering is a nightmare: I’ll be honest, when this happens I throw my can of Monster at the wall, take my shirt off, and rub my ghost-white bare chest on the wet wall in angst.I never had to do this when switching to a different resolution on Rushporn! The transition was almost instantaneous! The video would pause for half a second only to resume in full 720p/1080p glory! Rushporn should be proud of this: dare I say more proud than ThePornDude is going to be after I email him about my first orgasm!
A ton of videos in HD
Rushporn may be able to transition resolutions quickly but it doesn’t mean anything if there are not any HD videos to actually watch. I am pleased to say there are plenty of lovely ladies you can stare at in higher definition resolutions! Rushporn offers tons of HD videos that load quickly, look great, and will make you feel as if the creatures gracing the screen are actually in the same room with you. I found a beautiful Japanese woman that was cooking before her butler arrived to do things with her I do not want to repeat in this review. Before he arrived, I swore she was cooking for me. It was sushi cooked just the way I like it: raw with only authentic soy sauce that has been imported from an Asian country. She handed me chopsticks, gave me a kiss, dressed up like Yuna from Final Fantasy X, and blessed me with a dance that made me feel beloved. Then the Chad butler took her away from me: *scoffs* how typical.
Needs a bigger and better selection of categories
One of the places where Rushporn is lacking is its small array of categories. It has the basic categories you typically see on other free tube sites. Still, it’s a small selection compared to other similar sites and that could be fixed by adding more niche categories like, ‘Asian grandmothers,’ or, ‘Asian wives,’ or maybe even something like, ‘Asians that love you just the way you are.’ If Rushporn adds those categories I want them to let me know, because I will be there every day uplifting them and praising them from behind my screen, hoping that my psychic energy reaches them in some capacity.
Too many ads!
I kept getting bombarded with ads every time I clicked on a video! Even when I clicked on a video I noticed I had to close a pop-up directly on top of the video before I could even watch it. A few times I accidentally clicked on the ad because I’m attracted to ads that alert me to Asian singles in my area: when that happened, I completely forgot about the video and browsed the site instead! That isn’t a good idea when Rushporn would prefer that I keep looking for lovely ladies to send my psychic thoughts to!Not only did I have to deal with a pop-up atop every video, but I had to deal with a new tab/window opening with an ad every time the video opened! At that point, you have to close at least two ads per video and it becomes an annoying problem, to say the least. It made me want to look at ladies to uplift elsewhere just from the extra legwork I had to do to watch. Figure out a better way to utilize ads, Rushporn!
Accurate results when searching
With many free tube sites, the search function can feel broken. I remember on one site I searched for beautiful Indian midgets and all I got was a BBW rolling around in baking flour. I still watched the lovely lady show the world that she was so confident she was rolling around in flour naked but that isn’t the point: I wanted to uplift an Indian midget that day and the site I was on didn’t deliver!Rushporn does not do that! In fact, the search results are totally accurate and give you a list of videos related to your search term. Maybe it’s a small thing, but when I’m in the mood to compliment ladies that don’t get enough compliments like extraterrestrial females with six tentacles versus five (I know I know, the poor things) the accuracy of search results matter!