Czech Toilets

CzechToilets! Try as you might to convince me otherwise, I know you like watching girls pee. Everyone does. It’s totally natural. There’s just something undeniably erotic about watching a girl shoot golden streams from a hidden camera. Yeah, I know that it’s not cool to admit it, but in this day and age, it’s totally normal and acceptable.Right? I mean, the alternative is to accept that I’m a fucked-up deviant who gets off on violating a woman’s right to privacy, but I can’t handle a thought like that in my mind, so I’m going to drop the subject and move forward with the assumption that watching the type of porn that sites like Czech Toilets have is totally normal.

Golden Showers

From a creative standpoint, there’s not really a lot of different directions you can take a porn video about pissing. Your average scene goes about the same way: a camera spots a girl who looks uncomfortable as she walks through the streets, then a second one is conveniently placed in the toilet bowl to watch her make herself comfortable once again. It’s not exactly revolutionary, but it works—I’m not going to complain that blowjob videos don’t push the envelope of directorial genius, and I won’t complain about Czech Toilets not thinking outside the box, either.The video playback is flawless, both on my desktop PC, my laptop, and my cellphone. I usually prefer the well-lubricated comfort of my home battle station when I settle in for a jerkoff session, but something about the type of porn that Czech Toilets offers makes me want to branch out and make myself feel good on the go. Maybe it’s just a coincidence, or maybe it's my close proximity to public bathrooms, but every time I see a cutie heading towards a public toilet, the thought of knowing what she’s about to do in there makes me rush to the nearest closed space and pull out my phone. The videos on Czech Toilets are so hot, and I’m so… efficient with masturbating (not quick to cum, it’s totally a good thing), that I usually make it out of the bathroom before they do, and the girls are none the wiser to the fact that I just came to the thought of them pissing.

Poorly Presented Piss

When compared to how perfect their videos are, Czech Toilets really drops the ball when it comes to the design and features of the site itself. No matter what you’re looking for, there’s practically no way to find it aside from just looking at thumbnails and clicking at random. Each part of the site has a trio of ways to get around: you can look through the hottest videos, the most recently uploaded videos, or you can attempt to search in vain—because all that the search function does is checks the incredibly vague titles and descriptions, this doesn’t really get you any closer to anything specific, either.When the videos are as professionally produced and polished as they are, this lack of attention to detail is frustrating and confusing. It’s not like having a functional website is difficult or cutting-edge. There’s a tried and true formula that thousands of other sites follow that works well enough, but Czech Toilets has, for whatever reason, decided to ignore that trend. of how poorly designed this aspect of the site is.I have nothing better to do than spend my days searching for the perfect video, but I know that I have readers like ThePornDude who have better things to do. If you’re in the former category you probably won’t mind these missing features, but those of you with lives may find yourself inconvenienced.

Paying The Bathroom Attendant

To be totally honest with you, I didn’t think that Czech Toilets would be as good as it is when I first signed up. The first thing that made me hesitate was one of the things they used to advertise the site on the sign-up page: a statement that “Millions of Members can’t be Wrong.” If you’re not quite as much of a genius as myself, you may not notice that there are two things wrong with that statement. First of all, that’s not at all how you spell millions. Typos might be acceptable in texting between friends (or when I make them), but when you’ve only got nine or ten sentences on a page that’s trying to convince me to part with my money, I expect a little bit more quality control.The other issue I have is that millions (and even millions) of members CAN, in fact, be wrong. Millions of people voted for the Nazis. Millions of people like Nickleback. If a million of my friends jumped off of a cliff I probably would follow them, because the loss of that many people would be too much to cope with, but the fact remains that the opinion of the majority is not necessarily correct.Although, the point I’m making is totally academic and pointless (just like most things I say), because in this case, those million members are in fact correct. Czech Toilets is a top-tier porn site, so all that remains is to see if it’s worth the price.Unfortunately, they don’t offer a trial membership, so you’ll either have to trust my opinion or sign up for at least one month, which will run you thirty dollars. That’s about a dollar a day, so if you drink the brown swill that they call coffee at your local gas station all you’ll have to do is cut that habit out to break even for the month, and if you drink Starbucks you’ll still have another few dollars a day leftover—which you could use to sign up for another few porn sites.Once that month is up, or if you’re so confident that you’ll love watching these Eastern European sluts piss that you know that you’ll need to be a member of the site for much longer than a month, you have two other options. You can join for ninety days at a price that works out to equal just over seventy cents a day, or, if you’re ready to commit, say I do, and wed yourself to piss porn for at least half a year, you can choose the half-year membership that costs just a touch over fifty cents a day.They don’t offer a full-year membership like many sites, but when the six-month plan is almost half the price of the month-to-month, you won’t miss it. You will probably want to continue your membership well past the initial term, though: since girls are never going to stop pissing, the content flows as fast as a Czech girl who just had one too many pilsners, so the content will be able to keep up with even the most ardent masturbators.

From Prague To Plzen

As fantastic as this site is, the Czech Republic (or Czechia, as they now seem to prefer to be called) has more to offer than just hidden cameras. When you sign up for Czech Toilets, you get access to the entire Czech AV family of porn sites. I know that nothing is really the same as watching desperate women relieve themselves. There’s more than life to piss, you know (even if there’s not much more)—but as a change of pace, you may want to explore these sites when you get a chance.The list is almost endless—what would have been a fair to good value alone becomes an excellent value when considered in combination, making the additional sites of the Czech AV family like the delicious sugary drink that brings your combo meal to the next level. In total you’ll get thirty-three sites, running the gamut of just about every single scene, scenario, and trope in porn.You may have actually heard of some of these sites—though I think Czech Pissing might be the cream of the crop, a few of them are much more mainstream, and their titles tend to show up on standard run-of-the-mill porn sites fairly often. I have fond memories of discovering videos from Czech Streets, Czech Harem, two of their flagship sites. They also have a few branded knockoffs of famous sites from other producers—Czech Taxi (with its plotlines “borrowed” from FakeTaxi), Czech BangBus (with a theft so lazy that they didn’t even change the name) are the most obvious of the two, but Czech Pawnshop and Czech Supermodels also very closely follow the trend set by other sites.But that’s only a handful of what the Czech AV network has to offer. I’d describe more of them to you, but I just got distracted by Czech Sharking, a site featuring videos where men sexually assault women in the streets by pulling down their tops or skirts as they run past. If you’re reading this, officer/judge/jury, this is in no way proof that what I did was intentional. I was walking past her and I tripped, I totally didn’t mean to pull her clothes off. Yes, I came in my pants as I was running away, but that happens to me all the time—don’t think anything of it.