You Porn (not "uporn", but pronounced as "u porn")! I’m not exactly in the mood for crazy experimental fetish porn every day of the week. Sure, I like my fucked up cat-girl vids, and the occasional Bukkake here and there, but once in a while you need some bread and butter. In those moments, when the days are boring and the nights are long, you need a tube site – and so do I.Free porn tube sites are basically public repositories where anyone and everyone can post any porn they can get their hands on without fear of being judged. You can think of porn tube sites as that giant, supposedly endless hole from that one scene in the movie 300, where Spartans occasionally dump the bodies of enemies who aren’t worth the burial.In a similar fashion, porn tube sites are bottomless pits of pornography into which you can swan dive whenever you feel like you’re lonely enough to need to jack off, but tired enough to not care what you jack off to. You can also think of porn tube sites as spiritual temples where men go to worship ThePornDude and work hard to become more like him in every way – I know that’s my perspective at least. Every porn tube leads back to ThePornDude.Another way to think of tube sites is to see them as a free TV subscription with endless channels, all centered around getting you off. There are no rules and no genre limitations. There’s no guarantee of quality, you can find anything and everything in one place. So it’s no wonder that the biggest porn sites on the internet are basically a handful of tubes that are in a constant marketing war, trying to come out on top. They do have their differences, but they have to work hard for them – Tube sites are inherently damn near identical. So why would you visit one tube site over another? Well, there are the finer points that we should talk about, and today specifically, I’ll be diving headfirst into all the pussy you can find on YouPorn.Com.
A Bit of History
YouPorn is a medium-sized porn fish in a very large pond these days. If you’re a younger stroker, just figuring out the finer points of the five finger knuckle shuffle, you probably think that YouPorn isn’t particularly special or unique. Hell, you probably think that PornHub makes YouPorn look like RedTube.You’d be surprised to find out that all three of those websites are actually owned by the same company – MindGeek. In fact, MindGeek owns damn near all of the most successful porn sites on the web, particularly the ones that focus on bringing together videos from different companies on one site. You could even say that they sort of invented the porn tube business model.What makes YouPorn particularly special is that it was the very first of MindGeek’s websites to break the mold and establish itself as a website that both kicked ass in terms of quality of porn, and didn’t cost a cent to operate. The entire website pays for itself, and then some, thanks to those annoying little pop-ups and sidebar ads.Back in October of 2007 I was a virgin ThePornDude was probably plowing hot blondes with his 12-incher, and YouPorn was the highest-ranking adult website of all time. That’s when it all truly began and we got used to being able to access “all the porn” on one website, and jack off till we’re blue in the face. Fast forward to 2019, I’m still a virgin, ThePornDude is still deflowering nubiles and YouPorn … well, it’s not the number 1 porn website anymore, but it doesn’t actually matter.Those rating metrics don’t really tell you much about the quality of the porn. They tell you more about the money that goes into the marketing. And because RedTube and YouPorn and even PornHub are all owned by the same company, there’s no real competition. The sites are just there for us to enjoy, and they won’t be going anywhere any time soon.But you know what does speak to the quality of the porn videos of a tube site? – The moderation. And we need to jump on that topic harder than I jump my body pillow at night when I remember that no woman will ever love me.
Moderating YouPorn into Oblivion
If you haven’t been to YouPorn in a few years and you hop on over there now, chances are you’re going to have a heart attack. To quote Vito Corleone from 1972’s The Godfather: “Look how they massacred my boy". And truly YouPorn got massacred to hell and back.
Now the site looks great, works great and hosts a ton of porn – that’s not the problem. The problem is that the owners sandblasted away any shred of the site’s original design and video uploading trends, to the point that it now looks like every other generic tube site on the web.This is sad because YouPorn used to be a safe haven for quality unfiltered smut of all shapes and sizes. I remember back in high school; I’d count the seconds before the bell rang to end the last period of the day. I’d race home with my dick already in my hands, getting ready to sit down and enjoy me some amateur solo masturbation videos that some angry boyfriends received and posted, with or without asking for permission. It was paradise.Unfortunately, YouPorn got blasted up the ass with lawsuits and allegations about how they apparently didn’t go far enough to vet the ages of the people in the videos on their site. Now I’m not saying that videos of 17-year-old girls shoving 12-inch dildos up their asses should be legal. And I understand why we’re better off with them being kept off the internet – that shit can ruin a girl’s life.But if she’s 18 or 19 or hell, 32, but she doesn’t upload a picture of her passport confirming her age, and instead just takes that dildo as far as it’ll go, on camera, then posts herself on YouPorn – this would technically be breaking the rules under the new regulations.
So the end result here is that the only remaining videos on YouPorn are the ones that feature confirmed performers with vetted ages, i.e. pornstars. YouPorn literally went from being an unfiltered pit of the most depraved porn on the internet to a basic ass vanilla ass repository for porn videos that are indistinguishable from the stuff you find on PornHub.
Today - Is YouPorn Dead?
I’m being a little over-dramatic, but that’s mostly because I used to have a very genuine love and appreciation for YouPorn and the kind of once-in-a-lifetime videos you could find on the site. Now that they’re gone I feel lonelier than before – if you can believe that.
But I have to be an objective reviewer and say that no, YouPorn isn’t dead – far from it. It’s a perfectly respectable website, with really fast servers and a clean modern design. All the videos are properly tagged, titled, searchable and sortable. You’ll always find what you’re looking for.The video quality varies, but is generally kept around 720p, though some extreme high definition stuff is always floating around. And because it’s a part of the world’s biggest porn site network, you’ll pretty much find videos of every professional porn actress you can think of.
I’m just sad that you can’t find any real amateur stuff, when YouPorn used to be THE place to go to find 100% real, unfiltered shit straight from the computers of perverts who got off to the idea of people jacking off to their vids.
YouPorn (often misspelled as "u porn", "youpron", "youporno", "youpirn", "youprn", "yporn" and "youpoen") used to be a unique gem on the internet that differed from all other porn sites with its originality and devotion to disgusting pornography. Today, it’s just another slice of the same cake that all other triple-A sites are peddling.The site isn’t bad, and I still jack off on it frequently. It just makes me nostalgic for the good old days when you weren’t sure what you were going to find when you checked out YouPorn for the day.If you’re a man under or over the age of 21, and if you find yourself more or less thirsty for the female snatch, I recommend YouPorn. It’s a free tube site that doesn’t disappoint, especially if you weren’t a fan of how it used to be before.