Porn300

Porn 300! A lot of people have suggested over the years that I should really move out of my mom’s basement, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I have two, much cheaper methods for coping when she makes me angry or sad, which happens every single day. I usually just watch a badass comic book movie or I jack off to hardcore pornography. This morning, when I felt like kicking the old bitch down a massive hole, I settled somewhere in the middle and loaded up Porn300.

Honestly, Porn300.com doesn’t have much to do with the comic book flick other than the angry Spartan waving an American flag and a porno-endowed smartphone at the viewer. That’s good enough for me, because she’s yelling down the stairs about withholding my allowance and I’m ready for a really angry wank. I’m gripping my 2-inch monster like a warrior ready for battle, banging my fist on my desk and screaming, “No, mom! I popped out of your twat, now you owe me two hots and a cot for life, so leave me alone while I watch free anal sex gangbangs!”

At Least 300 Porns, Probably Much More

Porn300 has only been around for a couple of years but pulls around 75 million visits per month. Mom is always saying I should join some kind of club instead of just chatting with the other neckbeards on Reddit, but I feel I’m in good company at this free tube. There’s so much traffic that I can almost imagine I’m jerking off at the very same time as The Porn Dude. The thought alone fills my heart with totally non-erotic, 100% straight, entirely heterosexual joy. If you’re reading this, Porn Dude, I love you.

The formula seems pretty simple here. The top of the page is covered in popular Tags like Puffy Pussy, Mia Malkova, First Time Virgin and Family Taboo. I think Porn300 must get a fair number of nerdy viewers, so I feel right at home. Tucked between kinky hardcore subgenres like Teen Anal Threesome and Gaping Ass is some high-level geek sex shit like Gamer Girl Porn, Fortnite Porn, and BBW Fucking. Be still, my horrifically unhealthy fat-guy heart.

Below the text tags, category thumbnails are lined up like a police lineup of beautiful, depraved sex offenders. The hot mamas representing the Mom and Mature categories look nothing like the wheelchair-bound obese bitch upstairs, and the lovely young brunette spreading her cunt for the Teen area is another depressing reminder that I wasted my youth ejaculating into Batman comics and returning them for store credit.

I have a few tears dripping onto my erection as I try to decide whether to spend the morning cranking it to the freaky dykes in the Lesbian area, the talented porn starlets pleasing multiple partners under Threesome, or if I should try to put myself in a stud’s shoes with the POV section. The number of available videos in each category is fucking astounding. Porn300 has over 9000 MILF movies, more than 20,000 Hard Sex flicks, and nearly 35,000 Amateur porno scenes filmed by horny exhibitionists who just happen to have cameras aimed at them while they get it on.

In the end, the thumbnail for Brother and Sister draws me in for what will inevitably be a painful recollection of growing up in this house. This site is big on the incest/taboo fantasy, with other big sections dedicated to Aunt, Mom, Granny and another well-stocked aisle devoted entirely to Mom and Son porno movies.

I Wish My Fat, Ugly Sister Looked Like That

The video thumbnails in each sub-genre area are laid out without a bunch of extra bullshit junking up the page. You get an unanimated preview with a title beneath it, nothing else. Hover over an image and it still doesn’t move, but you will see how long it is, how many times it’s been viewed, and the percentage of viewers who liked it.

I wonder if people with hot siblings realize how good they have it. I look at the Brother and Sister Porn Videos page, and there ain’t a nasty fat bitch on it. All I see is stunning young blondes and killer little brunettes, lots of teens and lots of sexual experimentation. I’d trade any of you motherfuckers right now if I could. Is anybody looking for a morbidly obese lady with big tits, halitosis and a mustache that doesn’t look as bad now that she’s shaving regularly?

You can sort the videos here by Most Relevant, Most Popular or Most Viewed. I figured I would live it up and go straight for the good stuff like The Porn Dude does, so I clicked the Most Popular button. The first movie has a simple title, but those five words have me dripping in my pants even before I can wipe the cat hair off my hands: Emo Teen Fucks Her Brother.

Jerking Off to the Nintendo Entertainment System

The built-in player starts streaming the movie without any buffering issues. It opens with the dark-haired hottie sitting on the toilet and taking a leak. The camerawork is amateur as hell, and that looks like a legit bathroom in somebody’s house, not a porn set. I like the amateur vibe, but the picture quality is garbage and nonadjustable. There is a watermark for a different porn tube, so I wonder if this one bounced around a few times, degrading each time until it hit this free porn site.

It may be Nintendo quality, but I’m a bit of a hair-trigger. I blew my load as soon as she squeezed her bro’s junk, so I really have no idea how these porn guys do it. It’s one of the reasons I’m so afraid of actually getting laid. When it finally happens, I hope I last more than the typical 14 seconds it takes me to pop while masturbating.

I looked around for a Download button so I can show my sister next time she comes over, even though I’m sure she’ll insist once again that a sister’s job is just to sit on her brother’s face until he passes out from all the farts. Maybe you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, after all. I guess I will never know, because Porn300 doesn’t have any easy way to save clips without a third-party browser plug.

Why Is The Quality So Bad?

It’s not a great sign that the most popular clip in the Brother and Sister section looks like it was pirated off a goddamn Game Boy. I went back to the front page of Porn300 in search of something new and ideally crisp, clean and hi-def.

Porn300 has around 8000 movies filed under Big Ass, which amounts to around 16,000 luscious, succulent butt cheeks if I’m doing my math right. Surely, there’s got to be some HD stuff in there, right?

I almost feel like I fell down a warp tube back to the year 2000 or so. I watched a curvy Egyptian girl getting hammered in dialup quality even though I’ve got my ISP’s most expensive plan. The MILF getting hammered on her bed while her hubby was at work was filmed on a toy cell phone and the thick ebony babe sucks a white dick made out of obnoxious little pixels.

Here’s What I’d Do If I Were These Guys

The overall low quality of the videos is going to be a dealbreaker for a lot of perverts. It’s 2019 and basically every other free tube out there is serving up full HD movies of porn stars getting double fucked and Porn300 is still trying to push that old-timey bullshit. What the fuck? I know higher resolution requires more bandwidth and therefore more money, but at this point it’s what we expect when we’re all lubed up and ready to go.

A smaller issue that could still use some work is the available search options. Clip lengths are kind of all over the place on the site, so I’d like a way to sort by duration after I’ve got my Asian Schoolgirl Lesbian query dialed in. It’s a simple search feature that makes for much easier no-hands porn viewing, so let’s hope they roll it into the site as it grows.

Because of the low resolution, I don’t think I’d make Porn300 one of my regular stops when I’m jerking off all over my laptop. I didn’t run into much spam, though, so I could see using it on my phone next time mom changes the Wi-Fi password. It’s not a terrible site, but they’ll need to make some big adjustments before they could play with the big boys.