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XTapes
X Tapes! If there is one thing mother and the few that know me can say about my personality it’s that I am persistent! The quest for a beautiful Asian wife continues as always but I’m getting closer all the time! The stunning Asian pizza delivery driver that brought what I call my, ‘welfare check special,’ (all meat with extra meat, pineapple) has been on the brain for weeks and I can’t get her out of my head. It must mean she is the one for me!
Like the respectful white knight that I am, I have been studying her from afar. After an employee threatened to kick my butthole for hiding in the back of his truck and recording the Asian goddess I have decided to choose delivery trucks by random. There are always a few trucks parked outside the pizza place so if I keep jumping from one truck to another day-to-day I shouldn’t get caught as long as I hide under mother’s oversized raincoat once a delivery commences.
One evening I had a small video recorded mounted to the back of one fellow’s truck while hiding out and looking at the women I would be uplifting on xTapes when I returned to mother’s basement after finishing. I was lost in the seductive gaze of an amazing Iranian woman when I heard a crunch on the ground. I looked up and saw the owner of the truck staring at me with his fists up like he was ready to punch me. I had watched enough Dragon Ball Z to know what came next: I backflipped out of the back of the truck and got into position to let him know, ‘I meant business.’
Immediately, four men ran out of the pizza restaurant with skeleton masks and bats. “You want to spy pussy boy huh? Want to spy on my girlfriend pussy boy,” said one of the men in skeleton masks. He sounded like he originated from the Land of the Rising Sun so I rolled away from the back of the truck to show him I too knew ninjitsu and sprayed bear mace in his eyes. Except I pointed it the wrong way and it went into mine. What commenced isn’t clear, all I know is I began to pass out as I heard the crunching of my own bones on the warm Summer asphalt.
I’m remembering something. Give me a moment. I looked over… and my Asian Goddess was standing above me, smiling like she was happy to see me! She even said something to one of her friends…what was it? Oh! This:
“I like him like this!”
Yes! I knew showing her that I cared and was interested in her was going to make her warm up to me. I didn’t think it would be this fast though! Come, celebrate with me by visiting the free tube site I was watching when Cupid’s arrow speared my Asian goddess straight through the heart. Is xTapes going to make an Asian beauty fall in love with you like what happened to me? Maybe or maybe not, but there’s one way to find out! Come, let’s browse together!
Full movies from top adult brands
If you are like me, you live and depend on a welfare check. Nobody understands how much we need these things! That means that even though I have spent money on professional pornography I usually don’t have the money to do that. Living on welfare isn’t cheap. Thus, I am thankful that xTapes at least has some full movies from some of the most trusted adult brands around. I shouldn’t say they have some. No, xTapes has A LOT of full-length movies! Friends, this is the same poop you would see on a paysite except you don’t have to pay a penny! Believe me when I say this: you don’t know how amazing it feels until you’ve uplifted and stroked the ego internally of a female that has sex for a living! It makes my little penis feel tingly in a way few things do: for that alone xTapes is worth the visit.Search by networks for site-specific content
The magnificent of xTapes does not stop there, though. xTapes also allows you to search for site-specific videos directly from the homepage. I enjoy watching professional adult videos that mimic real-life so naturally, I gravitated toward the Reality Kings section. As you can see, they have loads of full-length videos ready to be watched! That’s what I love about xTapes: whatever AAA adult content you feel like watching they more than likely have a full-length video waiting for you that you won’t be able to find elsewhere. *Puts hand near brow like I’m about to karate chop toxic masculinity* I give xTapes a GENTLEMAN’s SALUTE *Salutes*Dropdown menu provides a site map
Here’s a feature I never really thought about wanting until xTapes gave it to me: a dropdown menu that acts as a site map! xTapes features a dropdown menu on the homepage that lets you jump directly to any page without having to move your fingers/mouse around trying to find the right page. That isn’t to say that xTapes is miscategorized or confusing to use because it is not. It’s merely a nice feature that makes it easy to jump from one area to another for people like me and especially ThePornDude who are doing things with their other hand. Like getting my video recorder ready for another night of staking out the pizza joint. Or massaging my chapped nipples for being outside in the cold too long. We can’t always use both hands when uplifting lovely ladies and xTapes realizes this. I give them another GENTLEMAN’S SALUTE! *Salutes*Need more category options
xTapes is like most free tube sites: not perfect. For all of the amazing ladies they have introduced me to I still found myself wanting more category options. Sure, they have my personal favorite ladies to uplift: Asians, mature females (if mother was nicer to me I would praise her body like I do women her age and older), and so on. The categories are some of the most popular on free tube sites but with other sites offering more categories than this xTapes needs to follow suit. Especially when they offer so many full-length movies and clips, they should do a little more and add extra categories that would appeal to everyone not just male feminists like myself who just happen to get excited about older women, Asians, older Asian women that want to bathe you every night and give you medicine when you’re sick…Too many pop-ups
The downside to using xTapes is you better have a good ad-blocker on your browser. I noticed a few pop-ups started creeping onto my desktop when clicking on each video. It’s not any worse than you would find at other free tube sites but it is still annoying. When I am trying to find a lass to uplift from the comfort of mother’s cold, dead basement the last thing I want to do is get sidetracked by an ad of a beautiful creature showing me her living body of art. My lips get too chapped from excessive licking and I need to stay focused on one task at a time, please. So please, less pop-ups!Ads play at the beginning of videos
When you are finally ready to watch a video you will notice that an ad pops up before the video begins. Again, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before but it is still annoying. I am not against the ads but there should be a better way to display them. I’m not sure what that is, I am merely a white knight male feminist that wants the global female mindset to be raised by even 1% and as you know I’m doing that one creature at a time. If xTapes could try to make it less invasive and I think it would benefit everyone.Lots of full length shorter clips as well
xTapes doesn’t feature only full-length movies. If you don’t have 2+ hours to stare at a beautiful woman as she tries her best to avoid Chads check out some of the shorter <30-minute clips. You won’t miss anything since it’s all there in the videos and you will get to uplift the beautiful ladies for the full clip. Who could ask for anything more? I could: a wife to call my own. Beyond that, xTapes despite a few shortcomings delivers a stellar experience that made me bookmark their site and come back for more. Check it out: you won’t regret it!- Full movies from trusted adult brands
- Decent amount of full length shorter clips, too.
- Search for network-specific content (e.g. Naughty America, Digital Playground, Reality Kings, etc.).
- Dropdown menu shows site map for easy navigation
- Too many pop-ups
- Ads play at the beginning of videos
- Needs more category options
Find a better FREE porn tube site than XTAPES.TO on PornGeek!
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