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WaxTube
Wax Tube! Browsing around this sensational new free tube site I found called Waxtube I noticed one thing: all the Chads in the videos are waxed! There is no hair on any of their bodies! I feel like I cracked some sort of Biblical code.
So I went to the only place I knew that gave waxes: Gay Tony’s Brazilians. I walked in and was greeted by the man himself: Gay Tony, the self-proclaimed bald baron of Brazilian waxes. I told him what I needed, gave him mother’s credit card, and proceeded to experience two hours of the most intense pain imaginable. I cried, I puked, I pooped in mother’s silk panties I was wearing for the morning and thought I couldn’t take it anymore.
Then Gay Tony moved to the asshole. And you know what? I kind of liked the feeling. Once finished, I walked outside and was approached by an older gentleman:
“Hey man, why don’t you come to the bathrooms at the park and help me unclog some…piping. You look like just the man for the job.”
I had never been called a man before so I was immediately on board since I was being shown such respect! The nice man drove us to the park and he told me what to do:
“I’ll go in there and do a little…work. All I need you to do is go inside and start the process. Once I call for you, come in, follow my instructions, and we’ll get this piping nice and unclogged!”
It sounded easy enough. I had never done plumbing before but because it couldn’t have been worse than cleaning mother’s toilet after taco night. I waited, he called for me, and I ran in ready to prove that male feminists have just as many skills as toxic masculine men!
“There is a pipe running through the wall that needs unclogging,” the man told me. “I’m sending the pipe through now. It’s a special pipe. You need to put your mouth on it and suck it as hard as you can to get all the clogged gunk out.”
Easy enough. I had to get on my knees to reach the pipe but once I did I put my mouth on it and sucked away! The man must have been impressed with my plumbing skills because he was making grunting noises and telling me how good I was doing. A few minutes later all of the gunk came out of the piping and into my mouth! Ewww, gross! It tasted like sewage!
I must have been a big help because we’re meeting to do the same next week. This time we have to clean the bathrooms of a Catholic church though. He should give me a chance to improve my, ‘man skills!’ Before I do that, I want to tell you more about Waxtube. I found so many beautiful ladies to uplift and compliment to myself that I know good vibes were sent their way! Will you too send them good vibes or is this a site you may want to pass on? Come find out!
Lots of adult stars to sort by
One of the first things I noticed when browsing Waxtube is just how easy it is to search by an adult star. By clicking on the ‘Models,’ section you can browse adult stars alphabetically, top-rated, and by the most videos. When you know the beautiful creature you want to eye hump but you do not know which video you want to watch, this is an incredible option! I found myself bookmarking every Asian I found and let me tell you: there are plenty! I started to wonder if I would see the Asian delivery driver I have been researching for months, but of course, she wasn’t on there. That’s too bad! I would love to compliment every inch of her body and let her know what a work of true art she is…Pages and pages of tags!
Does Waxtube have the tags? You betcha! If you enjoy finding stunning ladies to uplift (and I know you do, fellow white knight!) you know that searching via tags is one of the most convenient ways to do this. I love it when a site has a good amount of tags and Waxtube certainly delivers! Waxtube currently offers 12 pages of tags with each page having hundreds! The tags range from models to kinks. No matter what kind of adult content you are looking for it’s a near guarantee that Waxtube is going to have the tag or something similar listed on one of the pages. They are listed alphabetically too so you don’t have to search for hours just trying to find the right mature tag to make your penis feel tingly.Free, full-length videos from top paysites/brands
If you are like me, then you just don’t have the funds to subscribe to premium sites. I understand the struggle! I wish I had an unlimited amount of money so I could subscribe to every top paysite so I could uplift every woman and bask in the unwavering confidence these beautiful women have. To perform at such a high level on top adult brands and paysites is amazing and something to behold! So I was thrilled to find out that Waxtube offers many free full-length videos from some of the top paysites and brands in the adult industry such as Brazzers and Reality Kings. The videos look great too – as if you were watching them on their native site. For a guy that lives on a welfare check and can only steal his mother’s credit card on occasion, this is important to me.Thumbnails within the video show best parts
The best part about that? You can jump straight into the best parts just by clicking on the appropriate thumbnail! I have never seen another free tube site do this and I hope others incorporate it more into their own design. While thumbnails showing the hottest parts of the video are nothing new, being able to see the hot image, click on it, and jump into that moment of the video is such a great idea. It allowed me to know exactly when I needed to compliment a woman on her features and ability to take a toxic male. This saved me a lot of time and allowed me to compliment more women in one night than I ever have in my career! Other free tube sites need to add this feature now *Shakes fist with a mischievous, naughty look*View videos being watched right now
I invite you to come down to my basement and watch these videos with me. If you do friend you will know that I am such a sucker for watching videos that are being watched by other people at that very moment! Waxtube offers this option; refresh your browser and you will see which videos are being watched by other members. The notion that you can watch a video that is currently being watched by someone else in a way makes me feel like I am not alone in my basement on the verge of sitting in my own feces. It’s a touch that makes uplifting women feel more team-based and for that, I am appreciative that Waxtube added this feature.Could use more categories
Waxtube isn’t all unicorns and glittery penguins though. There are a few things that left a little to be desired: most notably the lack of categories. It isn’t a huge deal since there are so many tags to choose from but it would have been nice to have a large variety of categories like many other free tube sites. You can at least view full-length free videos from top adult brands by clicking on the appropriate brand name though so that’s at least convenient. It makes me wonder though: if there is a category for double penetration why not POV as well? I like to imagine myself finally finding out what a woman’s vagina feels like and I know there are many other white knights like me that prefer that over putting their weenie inside of a woman’s butthole. Ewww! They poop from there who would do that?! ThePornDude would just because he could, that’s who.Need a better way to browse tags faster, more conveniently
I don’t know how Waxtube to fix this problem but the reality is with so many tags on so many pages, it can be hard to find exactly what you want. It’s good to have a choice but when it cuts into your complimenting time it can be a real pain in the anus to find just the right type of video. If the tags were arranged by category that would suffice; then again being in alphabetical order makes it less painless than it could be. Still, Waxtube should figure out a way to make browsing tags a little faster and more convenient. If they did that, I would love them forever *Gives a big kiss to Waxtube’s logo on my computer monitor*- Tons of adult stars to sort by
- Over 10 pages of tags!
- Lots of free full-length videos from top adult brands
- Thumbnails inside the video show the hottest parts, can click on thumbnails to instantly jump to that part of the video.
- View videos currently being watched
- Needs more categories
- Need an easier way to browse tags
The owners of WAXTUBE.COM have shut down their website. Find a replacement on PornGeek!
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