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XNXX Sex Stories

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sexstories.com

“Sexstories.com” aka "XNXX Stories"! Most nights, I masturbate to pornographic videos, just like everybody else. But every once in a while, I get the urge to exercise my brain and switch things up a bit by going to an erotic literature site. It sort of brings me back to the old days before I had a computer and the internet, when I used to use my imagination to jerk off. Except now that my imagination has been thoroughly ruined by the infinite availability of hardcore porn, I need a little something to jump start it. Stories about sex fill that middle ground perfectly for me. When I first heard of SexStories, I knew I had to try it. It’s operated by the same people who run XNXX.com, so I knew it had to be good. Since I had no plans tonight (I swear I have plans sometimes), I figured that tonight would be as good a time as any to pop open a bottle of sparkling apple juice (mom won’t let me drink wine) and settle in for a nice evening alone with some stories.

My Eyes!

I’m going to start this review off by getting the worst thing about SexStories out of the way. For some of you, this might be a dealbreaker. You may not be able to bear it, and it may ruin your visit to the site to such an extent that no content, no matter how perfect, would make you stay. On the other hand, it might not bother you at all. You might not see what all the fuss is about, and be able to overlook this issue. In either case, let’s get it out of the way so that you can start to make your decision. The default skin of this website is fucking ugly. There’s no nicer way to say this. It’s not ugly like a baby or a puppy that’s so ugly that it’s cute, it’s just plain ugly. Without qualification. Whoever designed this site deserves to be dragged out into the street, taught the basic principles of design and color, and then shot in the head so that they can’t inflict their terror on unsuspecting porn readers. I honestly believe that your average untrained moron would do a better job than this. Like, let’s give this a shot. Imagine you’re designing a website. You need to choose a background color. You might pick the standard white, or go with a dark-mode style black. But no, the designer of SexStories (I can only assume that there was only one because any second-person involved would have shut this down from the start) went with a blindingly bright royal blue. Then for the heading text, he decided to go with everyone’s favorite color: piss yellow! Oh, and just when you thought things couldn’t get worse: the short descriptions of each story are in this greyish-blue font that kind of blends in with the background. This color would work fine on a white background, of course, but it’s a bit of a headache to read on another blue. Now if that doesn’t bother you at all, call me crazy and continue to enjoy the site. If it makes your eyes bleed, just leave now and don’t look back. If you’re somewhere in the middle, I guess you could always just copy the stories and paste them into a word document so you’re able to limit your exposure to the visuals of the site as much as possible. Alternatively, there is a different skin/theme that you can choose from by clicking on “Black and white” on the sidebar. If you’ll pay close attention, though, you’ll see that this is a lie: the background is grey. Though a huge improvement over the blue bomb that you’re greeted with to begin, it all sort of blends together into an eye-straining fifty shades of grey, requiring so much work just to focus on the text that imagining the sex scenes behind the blur is nearly impossible. But hey, at least the stories are better.

Just Keep Scrolling

The strangest part about how misguided the visual design of SexStories is that the actual usability portion of the site’s design is incredible. If you ignore the fact that you’re either going to be assaulted by bright colors or bored to death by a wave of blandness, there’s an excellent story discovery system underneath the veil. The default view of the site is exactly what it should be: a listing of the top-rated stories from the last month. If you’re a non-obsessive reader of SexStories, this might be as far as you ever need to venture. Each story is basically guaranteed to be of high quality, and new content is uploaded often enough that you’ll pretty much always be able to find something that you haven’t read here. Below it is a section only for the bravest individuals: “Latest Sex Stories.” This is the freshest of the fresh, hot off the presses. That might sound appealing, but more often than not these stories tend to be written by people who should have kept their ideas in their head. The content is usually either boring or disgusting, and the writing is usually worse. Still, even the best stories pass through this first step at some point, so there’s always a chance that you’ll be able to discover a gem early. For most people, though, I’d recommend scrolling a bit further down. Immediately below the recent stories are the top-rated stories of all time. If you want to jump to the classics, this is where you need to be. These stories are virtually guaranteed to be excellent, as they’ve stood the test of time and the criticism of thousands of lonely basement masturbators like me. Even if the subject matter isn’t right up your alley, I’d recommend checking these stories out. The site is just too popular for a bad story to fall through the cracks for this long: if 96% of several hundred thousand readers liked a story, you probably will too. You can also check out the "Most Read Sex Stories” section just below that. These stories don’t usually have the plotting, characters, and excellent turns of phrase that I know everybody reads erotic literature for like the top-rated stories, but they do have a certain popular appeal. If I had to encapsulate this section, I’d say that the stories are just as hot, but slightly less well-written. Unless you’re some literary genius like ThePornDude you probably won’t be able to tell the difference, though, so this section is also a safe bet for most readers. The list continues on and on, but it’s at this point where it starts to feel like they’re just including sections for the sake of including sections. Next up is “Least Read,” for which I can’t comprehend a reason why anyone would want unless it’s solely to gain hipster credit. Next up is “Low rated Sex Stories,” which is even worse: the reigning “king” has a 0% rating on over one hundred and thirty thousand reads. Yes, it is that bad, and no, I don’t recommend checking it out. It’s called “Kinkiness I have done to my wife” and features detailed descriptions like “My wife lets me do all this to her so you'll hear about that later.” The kicker? He never gets to it, and we don’t ever hear about it later. Bravo.

Categories On Top Of Categories

After enduring one more useless grouping (stories without a single rating), scroll all the way back up to the top until you hit the section of the sidebar called “Genres.” This, along with “Themes” below it, are what make up for all of the earlier flaws I pointed out. And it’s a good thing that they’re so useful, because they really do make up for it, and without them, SexStories wouldn’t be able to reach the potential that the stories themselves provide. The lines between genres and themes are a little blurry, but for the most part, genre can be seen as a wider grouping above themes. They include things like diary-style stories, true stories, and poems, as well as traditional literary genres like science fiction and fantasy. While there are only twelve genres, SexStories lets you get really specific when browsing by theme. There must be close to one hundred themes to choose from, ranging from your every-day normal stuff like “blowjob,” “exhibitionism,” and “incest” to extreme stories about “rape,” “slavery,” and “death,” so click carefully. As much as I love how many categories there are, I do have one complaint. You can’t combine tags, which would be incredibly helpful considering some of the themes have over ten thousand stories. Thankfully, the search function works fairly well so if you just input the theme names you’ll normally have good results, but it would be nice to be able to do that more directly and accurately by adding themes together right from the sidebar.