Rule 34 Hentai! There was a time when I thought jacking off to comic books meant I was some kind of weirdo. Then I figured out I was actually a weirdo for a bunch of other reasons, like how I scratch my asshole with a pipe cleaner and lube up the ol’ johnson with cat food to entice a stray lick from one of mom’s half-feral beasts. Reading hentai’s no big thing anymore, is it? I spent the morning gawking at X-rated Naruto footjob cartoons while nursing a cat scratch to the testicles, letting Rule34Hentai be my guide, and honestly, it was some of the most normal shit I’ve done all week.Rule34Hentai.net has been around since 2007. That’s about three decades by my math, but I was dropped on my head a lot as a baby. These fuckers get like 10 million visits a month, which makes me feel so much fucking better about masturbating to this image of Mercy from Overwatch getting brutally raped by reptile cock. See, mom? This is the typical stuff dudes around the world look at to get a stiffy. I’m not a fat, disheveled basement-dwelling creep, mom! Lots of normal people flick their ding-dongs to CG werewolf sex and erotic stomach-inflation drawings.
Rule 34, By Which I Live My Life
The Internet is full of all kinds of shit for maladjusted neckbeards living rent-free with mom years into their forties. People ask me where I’m from and I tell them here; the web is the only place I’ve ever felt remotely comfortable, the only place I could ever call home. Of all the net’s deviate beauty, it’s Rule 34 that has brought me the most joy.Rule 34 is simple: There is porn of it. No exceptions. Everything you can think of has been sexed up and stuck online. This year alone, I’ve touched my withered and filthy genitals while perusing dirty pictures of gender-swapped Pokemon experimenting with golden showers, Marge Simpson watching while Homer and Bart stuff Lisa’s tight yellow holes, and Mario and Luigi finger-cuffing princess peach while holding the bitch down on a warp pipe.Rule34Hentai doesn’t have any kind of monopoly on everything-based smut, but they do have a fucking ton of it. The front page is an endlessly updated stream of Disney princesses sucking cock and anime babes doing double-anal, triple-vaginal, and quadruple tentacle airtight acrobatics. The Aristocrats!You know, most porn sites get my little nub all hard but I end up crying about how well-endowed the studs are and how they can actually interact with real, live women without anxiety vomiting all over their beautiful feet. It just isn’t fucking fair, but I don’t feel that overwhelming sense of self-disgust and shame when I’m masturbating to My Little Pony furry porn. This is my kind of site for my kind of people and I am not ashamed!
Video Game Sex Pics with a Side of Spam
As much as I love the World of Warcraft fan art of Draenei bitches fucking their own blue twats with their own dildo-snake tails, the overall presentation of Rule34Hentai is pretty fucked up. It reminds me a lot of my bedroom, actually. I’ve got a lot of valuable first-edition anime and Japanese schoolgirl vagina simulators still in the original packaging, but much of it is lost beneath a sea of cat hair, dirty laundry, old food packaging, and the soda bottles I’ve been pissing in when mom’s hogging the pot.What I’m saying is the layout is ugly. There’s a shitty logo that looks at least a decade older than this old site, and it sits on a background the color of my mom’s back scabs that never quite heal. Their motto is “We Just Wanna Fap”, but “We Just Wanna Spam” would be just as accurate.Even with my ad-blocker enabled, the whole page is fucking covered in easy women and neighborhood whores, but there’s no way any of these pretty ladies live in my neck of the woods. We drink mayonnaise when we’re thirsty and I bathe with a rag on a stick. At least the porn ads are honest about what they’re pushing, but I already spent my allowance on some new perfume for my girlfriend.Spam is a really typical thing to bitch about on any site that gives out free wank material, but on Rule34Hentai, you can’t see any good shit until scrolling past the bullshit. Mom’s always saying beggars shouldn’t be choosers, and you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, and you should pay rent or move the fuck out or at least stop eating all my barbecue chips and government cheese. She’d probably say something like that here, but I get a little fucking cranky when you get between me and my 3D crossover orgy featuring characters from Dead or Alive, Ninja Gaiden and the Legend of Zelda.Anyway, maybe it’s partly my fault. There’s a Patreon link to support the site, and I would if I could. That perfume was really fucking expensive. My mom said it was a huge waste of money since all I did was spray it on an anime princess body pillow, but I always get all teary-eyed when she starts talking mean about my girlfriend so I ran out of the room. Apparently you get some perks if you toss them a few bucks a month, so maybe I’ll try it when I get my insurance payout from the porta-john incident. They are unsafe for a man of my girth and the manufacturer will be held liable.
The Master List of Rule 34 Examples
There isn’t much organization to the front page of Rule34Hentai. It just shows whatever’s coming through, and I’m not even sure how much filtering or moderation there is before images hit the public end of the site. There’s obviously somebody shooting down the garbage submissions, because the overall level of quality is decent, but the updates never seem to stop. It’s like a butthole with a raging case of diarrhea in the form of Adventure Time fisting and Harley Quinn as a BBW dominatrix. With so much XXX art coming through, it’s hard to know where to aim your dick.The search bar is really hit or miss. I got plenty for Mario, but nothing for Chun Li. What the fucking fuck? I then found the fat-thighed, high-kicking Streetfighter’s name listed on the Picture Tags page. It turns out Rule34Hentai has a huge selection of dirty Chun Li images, you just have to know where to look. I actually learned this trick from master porn reviewer The Porn Dude, who likes to check the Category or Tags page on any hentai site. The guy is a fucking genius!That Picture Tags page is where it’s at. I fell down a rabbit hole, jerking off to weird shit I never imagined I would. There’s an Addam’s Family drawing here where Wednesday has a female slave gimped up and restrained with huge dildos in her pussy and cunt. I was never into Gravity Falls before, but I’d never seen Mabel Pines lay on her back and spread out her pussy lips.The list of intellectual property being blatantly abused stretches on and on endlessly. I don’t even recognize most of the comics, cartoons and games, and I consider myself a well-cultured geek. Fuck, I literally ferment in my old juices while surfing the web each day, so you’d think I’d know a thing or two about Alisa Southerncross. I still couldn’t tell you where she’s from or what she does for a living, but I can tell you she loves getting fucked up that shapely ass in her downtime.Rule34Hentai has plenty of hentai and anime-influced art, but I feel they lean more toward the Rule 34 end of the equation. The site is set up to show you individual images, not really to let you actually settle in and read some hentai. I’m cool with this, because the Picture Tags page shows how deep they get with their Rule 34 confirmations. There really is porn of everything.Rule34Hentai is not without its faults, namely the ugly design and all the goddamn spam. Those issues aren’t enough to stop 10 million eager, horny viewers a month. Why? It’s hard to argue with that never-ending stream of comic book porn, perverted parody images and CG erotic fan art. The whole thing is free, so your mom can’t even give you shit about blowing the Mountain Dew money on Ducktales erotica again.