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R18
DMM R18 JAV porn! R18 is a special place. It’s a sort of promised land, a Shangri-la for weaboo nerds who spent the dark ages of the internet pining for a high-quality source of Asian porn. For guys like me, it’s basically the promised land. In the old days, we pretty much had two options.
First, you could watch low-quality blurry rips of Japanese porn downloaded through Limewire and other filesharing software. This stuff was pretty bad and there wasn’t much selection, but it was free and we really didn’t have any other good choices.
The only real alternative was to pay for actual physical VHS tapes (and later DVDs) like some sort of caveman. Yes, back in the pre-streaming days, porn existed on physical media. I fondly recall having my mom drive me to the Japanese grocery store, going through the curtained area in the back, and paying way too much money for two hours of whatever random porn video they decided to stock. The price and selection were terrible, but at least the quality was there.
But times have changed and Japan has blessed us with R18. It’s a Japanese-run website that cuts out all of the obstacles that used to make their porn hard to get over here. It’s straight from the source so you don’t have to deal with the cost and limited selection. They’ve got a lot of the same stuff that you would have been able to buy from the import shop, but instead of having one or two videos to choose from you’ve got thousands now.
Plus, they upload new videos pretty much every single day. No longer do I actually have to venture out into the real world to get my high-quality Japanese porn, and I thank R18 for that every day. I’m pretty sure Mr. Yamamota was starting to feel sorry for me, so it’s nice to not have to face his scornful looks every time I want to jerk it to an Oriental beauty anymore.
Though they do have a lot of nice sex toys over there… maybe I’ll make one last trip just for old times sake, and maybe pick up an egg to fuck and a plug to stick up my ass while I’m there. At least I won’t have to waste thirty bucks on another porn DVD now that I’ve got R18.
Porno Paradise
The main thing sets R18 apart from the competition is the size and quality of its collection. Like, it’s fucking enormous. We’re talking a Hitomi Tanaka-sized library of porn here. Imagine an amount of porn that would satisfy you throughout the apocalypse if you were stuck in a bunker, then double it. Do you have your number? Ok, double it again, then triple it for good measure. You’re probably about half of the way to the number of videos R18 has. You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m honestly probably underselling it. I’m a fan of porn. I know, you probably think a guy as cool as me prefers the company of real-life ladies to their digital counterparts, but I’m saving it for the right girl. I only have sex with my pillow-baby (and maybe my dolls if I’m looking for a thrill), but I usually throw a porno vid on in the background while I’m getting down to business. And even for me, the amount of porn on R18 is almost overwhelming. So I’ve set the context: are you ready to have your mind blow? There are just short of three hundred thousand videos on R18. By the time you read this, there are probably more than three hundred thousand, because they have uploads nearly every day. It’s hard to even comprehend a number like that. In the most simple words, this is enough porn for you to live off of. For the sake of this example, let’s say each video is an hour-long (I think it’s probably closer to an hour and a half, but as you’ll see in a bit it doesn’t really matter). If that’s the case, R18 has enough porn for you to have a video playing in the background twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, for the next thirty-five years. My doctor says I probably won’t even live thirty more years if I keep drinking mountain dew and eating chicken fingers at the rate I’m eating, and since I have no plans to stop, R18 has enough porn to last me the rest of my life. But say you don’t want to dedicate the rest of your life to Japanese porn. I’m not sure why you would feel that way, but if you want to ruin your life, be my guest. Your other option is to pick and choose whatever videos look good to you, and just watch those instead of making your entire life a constant revolving door of porn. R18 will work with you that way too. It has the typical navigational options: you can sort by newest videos, highest-rated videos, and most-viewed videos of the day, week, and month. Not only that, but R18 kills it with its categories. Having categories is more of a standard feature than a bonus these days, but R18 lets you flip has a more comprehensive and useful category system than nearly any other porn site. Right off the bat when you click on the category section you’ll see your standard stuff—big tits, mature, creampie, the sort of normal selections that won’t blow any minds but are the bread and butter of a fuck-tape sandwich. But try scrolling down, and you’ll find at least a hundred that can allow you to find much more specific stuff. Looking for porn featuring a bus tour guide? Somehow they have over one hundred videos with that exact situation. One of my favorite categories is called “over four hours.” Yes, you might not have expected porno videos to be quite that long, but R18 has almost twenty-five thousand of these marathon fuckfests. My typical Friday night involves ordering a couple of pizzas and sitting down with one of these works of art. It might not be “cool,” but it’s a lot more satisfying than striking out at the bar for the hundredth time. I know you’re thinking that R18 is practically perfect, but wait! There’s more! R18 puts a bow on top of this perfect present by combining all of these features into a magically powerful search function. You can combine as many categories, studios, series, and actresses as you can imagine to essentially craft your own custom-made Japanese porn video tailored to your own tastes. Normally when I describe my fantasies to people they say I should seek help (or possibly turn myself in to the police, depending on how honest I am). But when I describe them to the R18 search engine, I’m rewarded with a selection of videos that I previously thought only existed in my dreams. It’s nice to not be judged for once. The last area where R18 really stands sets itself apart is its recommended videos section: this takes your viewing history into account to recommend additional videos that it thinks (more like knows) you’ll love. I used to have a friend like this who would give me porn recommendations, but ever since the FBI found out about him R18 is my next best option. All of these features work perfectly on the mobile site, too. It’s nice that they’re equal, because I hate having to lug my laptop into the bathroom just to masturbate when mommy decides that I’ve been spending too much time in my bedroom and takes the lock off the door.A Foreign Language Lesson
Another upside of R18 is that the site translates the titles of its videos into English. This is especially important when you’re trying to look for new videos. It’s easy enough to recall the Japanese title of my favorite videos, but it would be a lot harder to search for something new if the titles were all in a language I don’t speak. Strangely, though, they don’t take this translation effort to its logical conclusion. Only a handful of the videos on R18 are dubbed or even subtitled in English. They do mark which videos have English in them, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise if you absolutely need dubs or subs, but it’s still an annoyance. I wasn’t too put off by this, though, so try not to worry too much. Porn isn’t about the dialogue, it’s about watching situations that only people much more attractive than you and I will ever actually experience. Moans are the universal language, anyways.Pay To Cum
You’ve probably realized by now that there has to be a catch. Nothing is perfect, of course, so there is one slight downside to R18. It’s not free. It is significantly cheaper than paying for physical DVDs and much of a much higher quality than anything you’ll get for free, so try not to worry too much about the price of admission. Trust me, it’s worth it. The average cost of each video is between five and fifteen dollars. The price is occasionally a bit lower (I’ve seen two-hour pornos for a dollar) or higher (maybe one in a hundred videos will cost thirty bucks), but even at its worst, the prices aren’t as high as the import shop. To help your credit card bill a bit (or your mommy’s bill if your mommy is as sweet as mine), R18 does offer a selection of heavily discounted videos at all times too, so if things are a little tight you can always stick to the value menu. I know that even cheap porn is more expensive than free porn, but sometimes it’s nice to splurge a little. Especially when splurging a little makes you splurge a lot, if you know what I mean.- Incredibly large collection
- Numerous descriptive categories
- Titles in English
- Samples are slideshows of still images, not video clips
- Many videos aren’t dubbed OR subtitled
- A-la-carte pricing can get expensive
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