CHYOA

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Most porn is a passive experience. You wait for mommy to bring your tendies and Mountain Dew, lock the door behind her when she leaves, pull out a bottle of lube and your favorite sex doll, and get down to business. You pull up a porn site, find a good video, press play, and then eight hours of a few gallons of sweat later you blow your load. It’s lazy, but it gets the job done. Most of the time. Every once in a while, I want something more. Something more involved and interactive. What I really want is to actually go out into the world, talk to a woman, seduce her, bring her home, and make sweet love to her. But for some reason, things never work that way for me. Sure, I’m not intelligent, or educated, or attractive, and I really don’t have any redeeming qualities, but who is? Aside from ThePornDude, I guess, but he couldn’t possibly be banging every single girl in the world, right? That being said, I don’t think even real-world sex would truly satisfy me. Sometimes I want more. Not only things that would get me in deep legal trouble, but things that aren’t even possible at all. I want to travel to a new planet and fuck hot alien babes, I want to join a society of shapeshifters that bend to my every whim, and I want to find a vampire that wants to suck more than my blood. Until just recently, I thought that all of those fantasies would stay as fantasies. That was until I discovered CHYOA, a choose your own adventure porn site. It’s like those old books that I used to read as a kid, where you make decisions and flip to a certain page to guide your adventure, but instead of ending with saving the world or dying these tend to end in orgasm. That’s probably because I cum too quickly to find out how they actually end most of the time, but that probably says more about me than it does CHYOA.

The Options Are Limitless

Another big difference from those books is the sheer amount of content. Choose your own adventure novels have always been kind of a niche thing, even during their heyday, and these days its practically impossible to find a good one. CHYOA, on the other hand, has over 12,000 stories, and new ones are uploaded literally every single day. Not only that, but some of them are much longer than hard-copy choose your own adventure novels. Since they don’t have to actually be printed out, not to mention the fact that some of these are updated regularly to add new content, there aren’t any restrictions on the length. Some of the more popular stories are approaching three thousand chapters long—making them really more of an interactive universe to explore than just some “book.” So let’s get down to business: when you open the page, the first thing you’ll see is the list of recently updated stories, but unless one of those really jumps out to you I don’t recommend you start there. The sidebar has a featured story of the week, and just below that is a list of the ten highest-rated sex stories. I think either of those is a perfect place to start. Fair warning, though: the number-one story of all time right now is incredibly engrossing and contains 2,374 chapters (so far), so if you like that story as much as I did you might not discover much more of the site. Which, as many times as I’ve been able to cum to that story, would be a shame. To deepen your appreciation, you should really check out the selection of categories that CHYOA offers. This is where the site really shines: by being able to host stories with themes that can’t (or shouldn’t) exist in the real world, the site is able to hit on a variety of fun fetishes. Some of the categories are fairly standard: there are straight-forward sex stories in the “Erotic Couplings” section, MILF stories in the (you guessed it) “MILF” section, and Lesbian stories in the (I’m sure you get the picture). If you’re not a deviant pervert, these categories will ensure that CHYOA still has plenty of content for you. But things really start to get interesting elsewhere. There’s a very popular mind-control section, which has stories about magic spells, space-age technology, and infectious viruses that all tend to end with women bending to the will of their controllers. Another taboo section is called “Non-Consent,” which is exactly what it sounds like. Just be careful not to let your fantasy become a reality here: as I’ve learned, girls in real life actually don’t like it when you force themselves on them, even if you make the right choices on how to proceed. Some of the stories are even crossovers—though they technically have to be in only one category due to the limitation of the site, there are a lot of fan-fiction stories with elements of other categories. The Harry Potter universe, in particular, seems to have a lot of mind-control and non-consent stories: I guess the only way to get Hermione to suck dick is through magic, but if that’s what it takes I’m fine with that. One of the most amazing things about CHYOA is the fact that you can customize the names of your characters. Just type in any names that come to mind, and they’ll be seamlessly inserted into the story. Sure, it can be fun to read about Phil McCracken’s sexual exploits with a buxom blonde named Chesty LaRue, but it can be even more exciting to put in the names of people you actually know. One story worked particularly well when I put my own name in as the male lead, and my mother’s as the female heroine. It started as a joke (honestly) but the taboo nature of it kind of put the story over the edge. Another great one that I did was putting ThePornDude as the guy. I thought I was putting my own name in as his best friend, but it’s starting to look like I accidentally made myself the girl he’s having sex with. And it’s an anal scene, too… Oh, well, I won’t let all my progress go to waste, better unzip and get to work. A word of warning: after the listing of categories is a section that lists every new story uploaded to the site, but I’d steer clear of this. There aren’t any barriers to entry, so a lot of the stuff here is just plain bad. And not bad in the sense of morally wrong, I love those kinds of stories—I mean stories that are about three pages long and seem to be written by a third-grader. They have tags that can be used in the search bar, too. Sometimes these work perfectly, but since it’s up to the writers to properly tag there stories, this can be fairly hit or miss. You might find exactly what you’re looking for by clicking through tags, but if you rely on them completely you might overlook a story that had exactly what you need. In my experience, you’re better off using categories and just reading the story descriptions to find your dream scenario.

Something For Everyone

Once you’re in a category, you’ll want to take full advantage of the sidebar to refine your search results. With the multitude of options that CHYOA (often misspelled as "chyoo" and "cyoa") offers, you’ll be able to zero in on the perfect story faster than you can drop your pants. First and foremost is the option to filter the listings to only show customizable stories: I found this particularly useful in the “Incest” category, because what’s the point of a bit of family fucking if you can’t imagine it being your family, right? You can also filter by release date in case you’ve already seen all of the old stuff and want to check out something new, as well as the length of the stories so that you can match the story with how much time you can spend holed up in your bedroom jerking off. Since I tend to have all day, I usually look for longer stories, but if you have a life you can use this filter to be a bit more selective. You can also choose the perspective of the story: you’ve got first person (“I fucked her”), second person (“you fucked her”), and third person (“he fucked her”), depending on how deeply you want to associate yourself with the story. On a similar level is the selection of POV gender, which lets you only choose stories from a male or female point of view. Choosing female first-person may have awakened something deep inside me that I’ve been trying to suppress, but hey, at least I came.