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Bang
Bang.com! Howdy there, folks! It's your boy MPG with yet another awesome review of this hella hot premium site called Bang.com. Yup, the same bang I didn't have in years but...if I'm going to be anything like my idol ThePornDude, you gotta hustle for that dough. Am I right or am I right? Yeah, I am right. so I'm going do this review and hope for the best, cus hope is all I got left! That's what my momma says when she sends me to the grocery store to buy her meds 'You only got hope left son'!
The first impression
First impressions are important, something they tell me I suck at, so now, I will try. I will really, really try! So, here we go. When you first enter Bang.com, what you notice is the black background, which automatically makes the site look classy, especially when it is combined with a rather large picture of a couple of babes slurping on that schmeat, but the great thing is that the picture is mostly in sort of like a gentle colors, so it actually blends with the background pretty well. The aesthetic is there, I love it, then again, I love my mother's knitted sweaters. About the technicalities. All the way up there you have like a shortlist of all the things that you need to see, including channels, porn stars, live cams, and that's basically it, except it's practically organized like a fucking database for a Chinese secret service, so that kind of creeps me out, and I'm the one who is usually doing the creeping out part. Next up we have a huge button telling us to move to the members' area, and we will do that shortly. Jeez, that button is so perfectly set there that it almost kinda pressures me into clicking, like a nuke button or something. When you cave in to the pressure and click on it, you'll see that you're being redirected to the videos area, where you can see a lot of the original content, which is available for both streaming and download, so that's a good thing, because even if you want to jerk off in the woods, or you're so pathetic that you jerk off at work and you don't want to leave any trails on their internet, you can do that too. Just lock yourself in the toilet, cry your eyes out like I do sometimes and start jerking off, simple as that. I would know. And Bang.com also has over 120 000 videos, so that's a good thing. You're paying for something that is actually going to last you, you're not just wasting money on a site that has like 67 videos or something like that.The actual content
The actual content is great, and I can't stress this enough. I mean, unlike ThePornDude, who likes to jerk off sometimes but mostly isn't a fucking degenerate and gets pussy from time to time, I couldn't find a girl to fuck even if it was to save my own life, so for all of you, I volunteer to test the material and get back at you with unbiased opinions based on over-consumption of the samples provided. After 'tasting' the material a.k.a. I jerked off to their porn, I can honestly say that it's very enjoyable, the videos, not just my orgasm. What you can notice right from the start is the fact that there are no MILF's, and there's no fucked up shit anywhere, so it's mostly babes who are willing to do lots of crazy stuff, and trust me, they do it! Oh boy, do they do it. You have public videos where the girl is sucking some dick in a car, or for example, you can also find movies that include lesbian sex in a library, and whatever you can imagine. Your mind is already twisted, we know that, but so is mine from all the years of sexual deprivation, and I'm telling you, this can test even the boundaries of your imagination as well.The perks
I mean, the biggest perk, of course, is getting to see some premium videos, which can actually surprise you and bring back a sort of wave of nostalgia. For example, when I saw a video featuring Gaia (which I'm sure some of you know), I was pretty fucking surprised, considering the fact that she stayed on the underground side in this industry, and I remember coming across some of her videos when I was just a young lad. You can also browse in multiple ways, including the gallery, which just looks like a list of videos next to each other, the detailed, which also shows you some thumbnails of the video first, and then you can also see some movies, which are basically regular porn videos, but longer and better, so it's a win-win for everybody. And this also kind of proved me wrong, considering the fact that I did see some MILF's, but combined with young babes as well. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that the videos are the biggest perk and that you actually just pay for the high-quality content, instead of paying for like some ridiculously unnecessary features, you just pay for the product, which is super cool. You also get early access to some videos. In my life, everything is early. Early cumming, and I hope early death.And now, the general impression
After seeing the full site, I realized that besides the content, Bang.com doesn't have much to offer. I mean it does have great content and all, but other than that, it's basically just filled with various letters and that's it. It's looking at a sex book and being aroused by pictures, but the whole letters part of it is just killing my arousal. If I wanted to get horny by reading, I would just go and read some reviews done by ThePornDude and that would do the job, but otherwise... Another thing that is at least a bit interesting is the channels. Because the site separates them by normal Bang.com channels and premium Bang.com channels, so you see different types of content. What caught my eye is that Vixen.com also has its own channel at this site, and they post some good ass porn there, so if you're looking forward to that, you can become a member and explore that. That's pretty good, because that way you're killing two birds with one stone, and you don't have to spend any more money on this, which will inevitably save you from some struggles, so this is a great thing and I respect Bang.com for that. Trust me, even though the site has some flaws, its qualities outnumber them pretty quickly, so take my word for that. It's sort of like my penis. It has its flaws and it looks fucking retarded, but if someone just gave it a chance, it could perform some miracles easily, that's at least what I think. But, the sad thing is that, compared to ThePornDude, my dick is probably pretty small.Conclusion
In conclusion, Bang.com definitely needs to work on some things in order to make the website more entertaining and more attractive, but the content is what we came here for, and that's flawless, and they did a great job with that. So even with all of its flaws, I would definitely recommend for you to buy that membership, because you will be stocked and you'll basically own a hundred thousand videos that are extremely diverse, extremely hot, and extremely well made, and I guarantee you that from the moment you enter this site, to the moment you have to leave it because your mom is yelling at you to get off that damn computer, your dick will be rock solid the whole time, just like mine is too, whenever I see a review from ThePornDude, or also like whenever I pass like a college campus. I mean, I didn't go to college, I'm too busy writing this shit for you guys. So, just leave me alone, please? Later dudes!- TONS and TONS of content
- Download availability
- Great prices
- The site looks dull and bland
- It's really hard to navigate from all of the options
- Too many letters, man
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