Porn Paw! I stayed up all night drinking Monster Energy and playing Overwatch, and today my stomach is all fucked up. I got motion sickness and vomited all over my sweatpants trying to watch an anal gang bang video earlier, so today I think I’m going to stick to still images. I’ve been meaning to take a look at PornPaw.com anyway, and now I have an excuse.I’m not sure where PornPaw gets its name. Maybe it’s like the paw of some friendly woodland creature as it hands you a pile of hardcore porn images. Maybe it’s referring to my own curled and slightly deformed paw, constantly twisted into a grip due to my incessant masturbation. Whatever the case, the smut is free, which is right in my price range today.
New Porn Every Two MinutesAccording to some text at the top of the screen, PornPaw adds a free porn picture almost every two minutes. My typical ejaculation time is way less than that, so I guess now I just have to work on that recharge. By my math, that’s more than 700 new images every 24 hours. Not bad for something you don’t have to keep dropping quarters into.At the top of the screen, beneath some spam that slipped past my blocker, is a selection of the Best Porn Images of Yesterday. PornPaw users have diverse tastes. Yesterday’s best images include a few naked anime chicks, a porn version of Disney’s Moana, a killer MILF, and a ripe little teen slut with glasses and perfect titties.I really wanted a closer look at that teenage babe, so I put my cursor between her boobs and clicked like I was jizzing on her. I got a new tab with some spam, but no bigger version of the image I want to see. The new tab says I can get laid for free, but last time I fell for that all of mom’s credit card numbers got stolen somehow.I tried it again and got different spam. I tried clicking a different photo in that row and got more spam. I tried it without my ad blocker, but that only made the situation worse. No matter what I fucking did, I couldn’t see the full-size version of that young hottie.I can’t believe I spell for a spam trick. I guess that’s just another one of the reasons being a Porn Geek is just a sad, pathetic attempt at being like The Porn Dude. I just never seem to learn.
Gawk at Nude Sluts Without Getting MacedThat first row of images, the “Best Porn Images of Yesterday”, are pure bait-and-switch bullshit. It’s blatantly shady, and as far as I can tell there’s no way to see larger versions of the images in that row. What a crock of shit!The rest of the front page is better. Based on the setup, I really believed those “Best” images were going to be pulled from yesterday’s stash. New photos hit the front page of PornPaw in sets featuring the same beautiful sluts.So far today, they’ve added photo sets of a brunette on her bed, a cute teen in a hotel room, and a MILF in her kitchen. There’s a young Euro slut just back from the beach, and porn star Sophia Knight in a stunning set called A Knight Out. The page just scrolls on and on, showing off pics of women showing off their bodies.Unlike those bullshit “Best” images, most of the thumbnails take you to an actual bigger version of the photo. Go ahead, get a closer look at that thick girl’s titties or that redhead’s twat. It’s been a long time since I left the house and saw a real girl, and it’s really nice to just take my time to gawk at perfection without getting maced again.Most of the full-size images are displayed in crisp high-resolution, so you can make out every dimple, vaginal fold, and pubic hair. Some, however, are hot garbage. One really enticing set featured a petite teen slipping out of her clothes. The thumbnails look hot enough that you want a better look, but the big images are so full of pixels it’s like beating your meat to a fucking Game Boy.
Hot Nudes and Hotter HardcoreIt seems at first like there’s a mix of hardcore and softcore material on the page. Rose Monroe is getting her pussy filled up in screen grabs from some porno and some hot Asian shows off her skimpy dress. A Slutty blonde takes on a pair of cocks, and a sweet-faced, clothed teen poses in a park.Well, the front page is only showing you the first few photos of any set. You know you’re going to get hardcore porn when it starts with a puckered butthole next to a hard penis, but there is plenty of flesh and perversion waiting in that gallery of the seemingly innocent babe in the sundress.Most of the photo sets do seem to be solo, and most of them start pretty softly, with a girl covering up her naughty bits. Click the set name, though, and you’ll be transported to the full collection where you’ll see the really good stuff.The typical format is pretty simple and can carry a set a long way, from 50 photos to hundreds of them. First, we see a hot girl in a room with her clothes on. She smiles and makes seductive faces as she starts stripping, each photo revealing more flesh. Soon we see titties, then ass and pussy. What’s a beautiful, well-endowed girl to do once she’s naked?After browsing the site all morning, I have to wonder if hot girls always have an urge to masturbate as soon as their clothes are off. I mean, I couldn’t blame them. My little guy gets so fucking hard it’s like half a roll of Lifesavers in my pocket looking at them, so I imagine it’s the same when you spend your whole life in a gorgeous body like that. I bet I’d have a similarly extensive collection of dildos and vibrators like some of the models on PornPaw.
True Perversion for True PervertsAs a guy with no actual contact with women besides my mom, I really love the diversity of babes on PornPaw. When I jerk off to amateurs it’s like smashing the Asian next door or the blonde down the street. When I beat my meat to the professional starlets it’s like living my wet dreams. They’ve got the kind of perfect women I imagine The Porn Dude gets to fuck all the time.I’ve been so distracted by all the exposed tits that I didn’t even notice the category tags. I made my way to the full list and found the menu here is even bigger than I thought, I just hadn’t stumbled onto every different type of porn picture they had.All of the standard porn stuff is covered here, from handjobs to creampies and upskirt shots. They’ve even got feet photos and fetish pics, shemale sets and granny images. There is bondage, cross-dressing and fakes, gaping, old men and lactating. I figured the animated GIF section would be full of loops taken from hardcore porno movies, but it’s mostly from hardcore hentai.This morning, as I turned my obese mother over in bed using a rowboat paddle, I discovered she’d left a thick fecal paste squished and smeared all over the sheets, her ass, and between her rolls of fat. I cleaned it up while she watched The View. By the time I was done, I’d lost interest in eating the bucket of chocolate pudding with peanuts that I bought for lunch.I bring this up because PornPaw has a category called Filthy Porn, and that’s the kind of shit you’ll see there. Get it? Shit? It’s one of the smaller categories on the site, but I was surprised by the depths of perversion here. Most porn sites won’t touch that sort of thing. I guess everything goes here, which is always good news for perverts.PornPaw may be a simple site, but it does exactly what it needs to do: serve up extensive galleries of hot nudes, porn screengrabs, and sexy photoshoots. There is a bit of spam to deal with, but in exchange, you get free, unrestrained access to an archive that updates every two minutes. You can do a lot worse for the price.