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LetsJerk
Lets Jerk! It happened again: mother ruined my life. I was tricked into going to a day trip with a group of adults that are still trying to hone their…how do I say it nicely, life skills? I’m a top candidate apparently and yesterday was day one of this group. Mother told me we were going to an ‘animated convention,’ (the plebe meant anime I think. Come on mother love my interests for once; love me too!!) but it turned out to be the zoo. The zoo! A place where animals are kept in cages! As prisoners! I’m supposed to hang out with adults that can’t move out of their parent’s house in a prison!?! How was this supposed to help me, mother?!
As soon as we pulled into the zoo’s entrance I immediately tried to run away. Crying and screaming because I didn’t want to see poor, defenseless animals thrown into a prison for life, I began to rip off the official group t-shirt and then my pants because it felt like a proper statement against animal abuse at the time. The group leaders then chased me down, tied me up with safety net, and threw me in the little bus they had rented for the day.
“MOTHER,” I screamed, spit and puke running down my face in the heat of summer. “HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?!?”
I heard them tell my mother they would return me by dinner. Oh, that vile woman never looked so happy in her life: so smug, so proud of herself! I was thrown on the bus still in safety net when a fat old man sat next to me and said: “try any of that shit again and I’ll take care of you myself. You got yourself tied up like a punk all day sucka.” Yes, mother, a grown man cursed at your baby boy! I’m not censoring myself today that is what was said to me! Was it a good choice now, mother?!?
I sat there stewing in my own sweat and a small amount of feces. The puke was now dried on my face but because my wrists were tied behind my back I couldn’t wipe it off. I tried licking it off but my tongue wasn’t long enough. I asked the man sitting next to me and he just got up and left, laughing about it to another adult.
I was on my own. I thought I could handle it, but I couldn’t.
We got off the bus and stopped at the otter exhibit. I thought I was ready to see animals in prison but I wasn’t ready for this. The moment I laid eyes on these otters I knew it was time to be the progressive nice guy that I am and take a stand.
“These otters are in prison! They are naked! Everyone is watching them and staring like a science experiment gone amuck!” I began to scream. Running into the exhibit I rolled into the filthy otter water full of feces, urine, and who knows what else! I wiped the puke off my face then lifted up an otter, yelling at those passing by to, “go anywhere else except here! You are all funding imprisonment and the nudity of this poor otter! We can throw them in cages but we can’t clothe them?!?”
A zoo employee tried tackling me but I picked up an otter and ran away with it. With the otter behind my shackled hands, I began to run faster than I ever have before. I ran into a snake exhibit hoping to lose them only to not watch where I was looking and trip into a python’s cage. I was knocked out when my head landed on a rock; next thing I knew I woke up and the python had eaten the otter.
I was banned not only from the zoo, but the group. Mother picked me up an hour after dropping me off and proceeded to pull my pants down in the middle of the parking lot and spank my bare bottom for what felt like hours. She took me home where I continued to pass out from blood loss for several days. During that day, I came across a free tube site I think you should all check out: Letsjerk.
As you know, uplifting females is one of the only things left worth living for in this world. Does Letsjerk let you do this? Or is it full of videos of Chads showing their buttholes for the camera like those poor naked otters at the zoo? Come find out with me!
Home page lets you search by studios or categories
A nice little feature I found on Letsjerk was being able to look at videos by the studio from the homepage itself. You don’t find this on many free tube sites and it was a nice addition on Letsjerk’s part. When clicking on the studio tab you get to see full-length free videos offered by each studio. Neat! As usual, you can view videos by categories from the homepage as well making it more convenient to find what you are looking for. It made it so convenient when I was looking for amazing women to gaze it for the evening. I locked eyes on one Asian female that was dressed in a crab outfit and I knew she was the one for me. I wanted her more badly than I’ve wanted anything in my entire life. I commented on her video asking for her phone number and maybe her address but I’ve yet to hear a response. Fingers crossed!Studios are listed on the same page as categories. Why?
One nitpick that really made me stomp my foot like a disapproving pony was when I noticed studios only sharing clips (not free, full-length videos as listed in the studio section) are also listed in the categories section. This gets confusing and it shouldn’t be that way. The studios should be on the studio page whether they are offering full-length free videos or not. It is a little gripe but anyone that isn’t as intelligent as me or ThePornDude will tell you the same: it should not be this confusing!Dozens of thumbnails load per page almost instantaneously
A thing that impressed me the most about Letsjerk is just how lightning-fast the thumbnails load on each page. I didn’t count because I kept losing count on each page, but I at least noticed dozens of thumbnails loading almost instantly on each page. That means you can browse handfuls of videos per page without having to worry about thumbnails and text descriptions not loading automatically. It makes it easy and quick to find a video worth watching, backing out, watching another, etc. A perfect example of this on display was when I went over to the Asian category and began looking at the delicious creatures that were on display on my screen. I felt myself salivating as I gawked at the works of art known as female: my internal white knight vagina began to expand and moisten at the mere sight of these ladies showing off their confidence in the rawest way possible! I thought back to the night I proposed to the lovely mature Asian grandmother in the women’s bathroom of a department store. For one moment, I wasn’t alone and someone cared about me. Then the realities of life came crashing down and I bled on the floor for a couple of hours while those that are supposed to care for me abandoned me. The females that couldn’t see the white knight glow underneath my cold, dead stare as I laid there stiff and lifeless urinated and defecated on my face… I didn’t want to go back to that place. But then again I did. If I could do it all over again, I’d do it a million times over for my lovely bride…Browsing through pages of videos is never slow, always fast
If you are in a hurry to find a female to idolize I am pleased to say that finding the perfect video on Letsjerk (often misspelled as "let's jerk", "letsjerk.com" and "jerk porn") is fast and responsive! Clicking from one page to the next also loads the dozens of thumbnails that grace each page meaning you will always have access to a ton of videos that are primed and ready to be clicked on. One day, I will prime a beautiful female and be ready for her to handle me. Oh, if I could just find ThePornDude and invite him over to my place to get some lessons I think everything would work out. I would learn how to be alpha, he would learn the value of being a white knight, and together we would be an unstoppable force that would bring about a new era of female entrepreneurship and enlightenment just from our attitudes alone. Do you see, mother? I know influential people! I am an influential person! I’m not your little disappointing boy with a laundry list of disabilities, I’m a man! And let me tell you something mother: your little baby boy is about to grow his wings and become a sweet white knight man that loves females and showers them with the respect they all deserve! Get to know your son!- On homepage, search by studio (free full length videos only) or categories.
- Dozens of thumbnails per page that load instantly
- Flipping through pages is instantaneous, never slow.
- Functional on mobile and desktop alike
- Studios are listed on the same page as categories. This can be confusing.
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