Hypno Porn

HypnoPorn! As a longtime virgin and hideously ugly man who is pathologically unable to speak to women, I’ve always been into sexual fantasies where girls are fully under a dude’s control. There are a number of ways to achieve that, like getting them to fall in love or paying them a bunch of money. Those options are never at my disposal, though, so I always think of kinkier shit like magic spells, sex robots, and regular old slavery. HypnoPorn is a free tube specializing in another form of sexual domination over broads: hypnosis.

I’ve seen those demonstrations on TV where somebody gets hypnotized and the hypnotist makes them cluck like a chicken. Where’s the fun in that? I bet you could think of a million other things to make a person do once you’ve got them under your mind-control spell. HypnoPorn is about exploring exactly those fantasies, you dirty fucking pervert.

Kinky Hypnosis Porn for Kinky Perverts

HypnoPorn.net has been online since 2015 and has been building their archive the whole time. The front page shows the newest stuff on the site, and it’s chock-full of girls eating cunt, touching themselves, and getting bimbofied by remote control. By my math, they’ve currently got over 1300 mind-control fuck movies, all served up free-tube style.

I see a lot of stunning pornstars on the front page. Right away, I see hypnosis porn movies with Carolina Sweets, Bunny Colby, and Cory Chase. There are a lot of kinky broads here, the kind of babes you see both in premium hardcore and on the fetish sites, like Cadence Lux and Kendra James.

Hypnosis is an interesting subgenre of porno because even though the fucking isn’t necessarily any freakier than typical XXX smut, the setup makes it a fetish. I think it’s the mind-control element that squicks people out, but you’ve got a phone that instructs you on what to buy based on conversations it overhears. At least with sexual hypnosis, you can get a blowjob from your sister out of it.

The newest movie is about a college girl who goes to the doctor for insomnia, but he puts her in a trance, suggests cuddle therapy, and then she begs for daddy’s cum. In the scene before that, it’s a remote control that freezes the babe in a face-fuckable position. Other recent movies include a witch putting a spell on a superhero before licking her pussy, and a bitch whose relaxing herbal tea makes her a raging, cock-hungry slut.

Fuck You, Fuck Your Browser, Fuck Your Sister

My sister swears to this day that one time she hypnotized me into wetting myself, but that’s fucking bullshit. She had a sleepover and tried to get me with the old hand-in-warm-water trick while I was sleeping. That’s an urban legend, though, and never works. She ended up just drinking the bowl of water and then pissing all over my bed. If that’s hypnosis, then I’m Uri fucking Geller, you dumb bitch.

The girl in the thumbnail for Hypnotized By Her Brother is a hell of a lot hotter than my sister, and I bet she does hypnosis right. At the very least, I hope she fakes being hypnotized well.

Neither video player on the page loaded, instead of giving me a message saying I had to turn off my adblocker if I wanted to watch. I fucking hate that, but I also love hypnosis porn. I turned off my plugin, but HypnoPorn’s spam is heavy enough that even my browser’s built-in protection disabled the videos. Once I turned that off, two players appeared on the screen.

The spam is pretty fucking pervasive, because nothing happened when I clicked either Play button or the Download link. I figured out my browser was still blocking pop-ups and had to turn off even the most basic protection to get any enjoyment out of the site. Fuck!

Further Troubles with Hypnosis and Spam

Neither the top video nor the download link did anything other than give me a bunch of pop-up windows and new tabs. HypnoPorn is all about that aggressive, malicious style of spam that claims to be Microsoft and that you have a virus that needs attention now. If you fall for this kind of thing, you’re probably old or retarded, but it’s annoying as shit.

The second video mirror plays, at least. I had to close a few more spam windows, but I finally had the little FBI warning screen that plays before a movie you’re not supposed to share. Yeah, that makes sense. Pirated smut and heavy spam with phishing go together like pee-pees and wee-wees. The comment sections under a lot of the videos are dudes asking for other movies from the same paysites.

I’d like to tell you how long this video is, but it’s not listed in the synopsis like it is on some of the other videos here. I’m guessing it’s long. I tried to look at the video player itself, but I can’t touch it. I can’t pause the video, fast-forward or rewind. If there are any options for quality or speed control, I can’t access them. If I click anywhere on the video, I get four new bits of pop-up spam and nothing else.

I just noticed I have a failed download listed at the bottom of my browser screen. I don’t know if it happened when I was trying to click the Download button or at some other point during the spam assault. The download failed because a virus was detected. Holy shit.

Go Into a Trance, Jerk Off, Fall Asleep

My review process usually involves pausing videos a lot to give me time to write about them. HypnoPorn’s advertising onslaught makes that impossible, so I’ve been watching as I report on the spam. Alisha is a serious distraction with that killer body, and it gets even worse once her brother puts her in a trance.

Alisha is letting her brother spend the night at her place, even though she hasn’t seen him in years. She does trust him enough to let him practice hypnosis on her. As soon as he works his magic, she strips and shows off her body. Dude just pervs out on her as we get to join. It must have been just a little too sexy for me, because I popped as soon as she started to undo his belt.

I drank a 2 liter of Mountain Dew and let myself recharge a bit, then I went back in to watch another movie. Deep Meditative State is about a hot chick who does yoga, which puts her in a suggestible mood. She usually can’t stand her step-dad, but once she’s in that state she’ll do whatever he wants.

It’s really frustrating watching porn on HypnoPorn if you like to skip the intros. Touching the video player anywhere only earns me a handful of fresh pop-up spam. I always imagine The Porn Dude going into a state of zen-like calm when this kind of shit happens to him. I’m just a wannabe, so I cried and whined at the computer until my mom told me to shut up or she’d change the WiFi password.

I don’t know how long I’ve been watching, but so far the hot girl has just bitched about her step-dad on the phone and sat on the floor like an Indian. Maybe I have a fucked-up sense of time from all the blood rushing to my two-inch monster, but I think this little slut has been sitting there silently for a good five minutes.

The spam on this site is really going to be a deal-breaker for almost everybody. I love hypnosis porno, and I’m blue-balled and angry about this girl just sitting there not getting fucked. It’s not the girl I’m angry at, it’s the fact that HypnoPorn won’t let me anywhere near the Play/Pause controls. I’m trying to think of any other porn site with such a glaring flaw, but I’m coming up short.

The thing is, I know people are still going to jerk off to this one. It’s just a matter of target audience. If the only thing that gets you off is mind-control scenarios with hypnosis or magic, you are going to be super fucking impressed with the collection here. If you’re a bum-ass library masturbator with a hypnosis fetish, this is like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The spam is just a bunch of greasy brown shit you’ll have to wash off.

HypnoPorn.net is an inescapable nightmare of aggressive, malicious spam that cripples even basic functions on the website. On the other hand, it’s a pretty fucking big stash of free hypnosis porno. You won’t find a collection like this anywhere else, and you certainly won’t find it at this price. How much does spam bother you?