HypnoTube

Hypno Tube! You are getting sleepy. Very sleepy. As you read my words, you will succumb to my will and believe what I want you to believe. The Porn Geek is not a fat, 40-year-old virgin neckbeard who lives in his mom’s basement and spends his allowance on gender-swapped Godzilla hentai. The Porn Geek is a buff stud with a bigger dick than The Porn Dude, and he gets laid every day by really hot sluts.Did it work or do you still perceive me as a disgusting slob with cat hair and pubes all over his crusty sweatpants? Fuck! I guess it’s back to the drawing board, which in my case involves shaking my little ding-dong at HypnoTube for a while. It’s a free sex tube focusing on, you fucking guessed it, porno with a hypnosis theme. There’s also a pretty heavy emphasis on sissys and shemales, which sets it apart from other hypnosis and mind control tubes.

Get Hypnotized and Beat Off, Sissy

I’ve been trying to crank my shaft to this site all morning, getting all kinds of creepy ideas. I figured I’d start small by convincing you I’ve seen muff in real life, and then if that worked I’d use my powers to perv out on the neighborhood sluts I sometimes see through the window. I wonder how many of the site’s 2 million monthly visitors have the same idea, and how many of them would rather be hypnotized into sucking a huge wiener.The site looks sleek as fuck, with a streamlined layout that’s super clean with my ad blocker enabled. The header and logo are pretty simple, so it takes me a minute to figure out what looks so special about the website. It’s those wicked thumbnails!Most porn tube thumbnails are just a random grab of a dick shoved up a butthole or a girl squealing, mouth open while her huge jugs bounce on her chest. You’ll see assholes motion blurred from the rapid hammering and wet explosions of juice rendered as thousands of shiny pixels.The thumbs on HypnoTube are like title cards from hypno porn movies. It’s not immediately clear if they’re grabbed from the vids themselves or somebody took the time to make them, but either way, it’s more effort than a typical free porn site puts into the thing. Somebody at this site really cares about their mind-control sex or at least the associated ad revenue.

WTF Kind of Hypnosis Is This?

Besides the rad thumbnail cards, the other thing that sets HypnoTube’s content apart is its focus. I’ve reviewed other hypnosis porn sites that were full of women getting brainwashed into doing anal, but the front page here shows a lot of shemales and sissy boys with dongs in their mouths.Sissy Talk, Cumslut Training, SissyStudent: The Sissy Test, and Best Boy Into Feminized Sissy Slave are all video titles Being Watched Now, according to the front page. Hitting refresh earns me another batch of limp-wristed pansy shit like Limp Clit Sissy Trainer, Sissy Motivation Anal Trainer, and SissyHypnoTrippingVol.4. There are Shemale Dildo Trainers, Trance Sissy Mind Fuck, and Shemale Hypnosis.It wasn’t exactly the kind of sex I was hoping for, but the hypnosis techniques should stay the same, right? All I really need to do is study enough to learn the tricks of the trade, then I can get out there and use my powers to finally lay my virginity to rest.

Did I Just Get Sexually Hypnotized?

I didn’t see anything that made my little nub twitch, so I just clicked on the newest movie, Cock Confusion: Back Door Man. It’s a 13-minute HD flick with a 93% rating, and the preview on hover-over shows a lot of different women sucking dicks. That doesn’t sound so bad, but I’m wary because of all the weird shit I’ve already been seeing here.The video has some obnoxious spam hovering over it that I can’t bypass until I let it open a goddamn pop-up for some feminizing video game. They clearly know their audience.The video opens with a hot chick whispering to me about sucking cock. The voiceover continues as I’m hit with a montage of blowjob videos and photos of penises. The audio gets jumbled, full of overlapping hypno-bitches talking about sucking dick and calling me a cock-sucking faggot.After a few minutes of flashing erections, naked ladies and hardcore blowjob porn, overlayed with echoing dirty talk, I started getting a weird urge to drink milk. Like, specifically, I want to drink some really thick, salty milk right out of an enormous flesh nozzle protruding from between the legs of a… woman?

I Swear I Have a Girlfriend, Guys

Holy shit. What the fuck just happened to me? This weird-ass HypnoTube video seems like it made me want some cock for a minute. As a completely straight guy with an anime princess body pillow for a girlfriend, I’m pretty weirded the fuck out. I wonder if this kind of shit happens to The Porn Dude. Actually, I’m sure it doesn’t because he’s a macho, alpha dude and not a weird, closeted beta cuck living in his mom’s basement.I watched another video called Sissy Hole Training. The hot blonde in the video has spiraling shapes behind her head as she talks about getting fucked in the ass, her breathy instructions echoing over a crazy montage of wieners, spit, jizz and pretty girls.The formula is the same in the other videos I watched. The mind-warping effect is often heightened by words flashing on the screen like COCK, DICK, LUST, and YOU’RE A FAGGOT COCKSUCKER as techno music pounds behind the crazy hypno talk.You can even hypnotize yourself into becoming a huge gaylord by downloading the clips for free. The Download button is a direct MP4 link and might be a better way to stream the scenes since you get to bypass the ad floating on the video.

Learn to Love Semen and An Aching Butthole

I came to HypnoTube wanting to learn the secrets of brainwashing bitches into eating my semen, but ended up wanting to wrap my lips around some queer’s puckered asshole. Surely, I thought, the Categories page would have something that might get the blood flowing to my micropenis again. Turns out I was fucking wrong, story of my goddamn life!A lot of the Categories page is clearly some shemale/sissy hypno shit. You’re not going to stumble into the Cum Eating Instructions aisle thinking you’ll watch cunnilingus, and the genres with Tgirls have ding-dongs where the hoo-has should be.Other categories are less clear until you take a closer look. The Asian section does feature blowjobs and anal sex, but it’s that same hypnotic presentation aimed at turning you into a raging queer. Asian ladies tell you what to do in breathy voices that echo over thumping club beats while you watch montages of boners, naked ladies and porno clips.Can you guesss what’s in the BDSM, Glory Hole and Cock Sucking categories on HypnoTube? I bet you can. If you’re susceptible to hypnosis, don’t look or listen unless you really want to find out what man milk tastes like.

What the Hell Just Happened To Me?

I’m not sure who the audience for this site is, but I’ve got a guess. It seems like a really good cover for closet cases. You can get married, have a few kids and still go suck an anonymous dick or two at the local truck-stop glory hole. If you get busted, just pull up the old browser history.“See, honey?” you’ll say as you show her dozens HypnoTube videos of beautiful women and huge dicks, trying to hide your own erection as you watch the parade of perversion. “I’m a straight man, just like I’ve always been. I love my straight guy life and everything, it’s just these damn videos hypnotized me into being a fag for a few minutes.”Yeah, dude, she’ll totally buy it. Look, I’m not sure I fucking get it, but HypnoTube.com is the only place I know of to fucking get this. They’ve got thousands of weird-ass videos designed to hypnotize you into becoming a cock-sucking girly man, all free to stream and even download. If you like this stuff, where the fuck else are you going to get it?