FappeningBook

Fappening Book! It finally happened. Mother lost her mind and is now openly spying on me! She installed one of those video doorbells in the basement to make sure I wasn’t ‘sinning.’ As fate would have it, I won one of these things at a silent auction with mother over the holidays. I didn’t tell her though: no, I was waiting for the right moment.

That moment came when I noticed the video doorbell staring at my penis. I waited until she visited the butcher down the street (probably sucking off his hot sausage; what a geriatric slut) to install it. I waited for her, but then I fell asleep. I awoke to the dreams of the Asian delivery driver dancing on my penis, and without thinking about it, I started to masturbate to this dream. But then I opened my eyes, and saw on my own video doorbell that mother was watching me!

I felt oddly excited about it, though. So I kept going. And she kept watching. I masturbated the next night, and again she watched. A third night this happened, and she watched more intently than ever.

We’ve never talked about it. She has never dropped a hint. But every night for weeks now, she’s watched me masturbate. For some reason, I kind of like it. What the hell is wrong with me?

I can’t take these thoughts anymore! Come, friend, visit FappeningBook.com with me and help me to get my mother’s masturbatory viewing practices off of my mind. Please, come with me, and let’s uplift beautiful celebrities together! Please, help me get my mind off of this friend – do I have to shake you until you say yes?!

View celebs by most popular, other sorting options.

It’s no secret that everyone has their favorite celebrities. Whether you prefer to visually hump the eye candy that is Barbara Walters or you like them plump and wish to stare at the majesty of Rosie O’ Donnell’s fat rolls (they magnify her beauty!) we all have our preferences. And for those that have no idea which celebrities they want to look at first, the great sorting options make finding one’s preferred celebrity of the moment easy and fast.

At the top of the homepage, visitors will be able to sort content the popular (all time, month, week, today, and even last hour). Simply click popular, and you can go from there. It could not be easier! What a time to be alive when viewing intoxicating images of the most beautiful women on the planet could be so easy! Few things in life make me want to stick around rather than pulling the trigger and ending it all quite like the notion that beautiful women may one day beam down into my basement on demand. While hologram technology isn’t quite there yet, this is the next best thing thus far.

View the latest updates

If you are like ThePornDude, then you want to be on the cutting edge of the latest porn offerings. And come on, who doesn’t want to be like him? I had a dream one evening that the two of us hooked our brains up to one another using nothing more than a new iPhone and exchanged thoughts with one another. I woke up before the upload was complete, but I can only imagine that I was swimming in the bergina.

I can’t even get laid in my dreams. But that’s okay. At least it’s simple to find the most recent updates of the beauties found on FappeningBook. Simply select Recent Updates at the top of the page and view the latest updates on the site. Select the celebrity you want to look at, and you will see their most recent updates. The only way it could be easier is if I knew mother wasn’t watching me every waking second of the day…

Over 30,000 celebrities!

Holy turnip season friends! FappeningBook features over 30,000 celebrities! That’s nearly 2-million photos and counting! I didn’t know there were even 30,000 celebrities in the world! Between trying to get a Richard Simmons fan club off the ground for years and only watching tasteful anime, I suppose I’m out of the loop when it comes to popular culture anyway.

But oh boy, I will uplift any beauty I see! The fact that the people on this site are celebrities makes uplifting them even more worth my time! Did you know that if you telepathically uplift a beautiful female and she is famous, you gain years on your life? Their aura reverses your biological clock by 12-seconds per uplift, making it worth any white knight’s time to stare, gawk, and uplift these famous, amazing creatures!

Good biographical data of celebs

For my male feminists that care about the history and soul of the beauties, they are uplifting, each celebrity features a good amount of biographical data. Most celebrities have information about their birthdate, age, birthplace, profession, and biography summary that includes their famous movies, and so on. If you care then read: if you don’t, what’s wrong with you? These women deserve our respect so be a good male feminist and show it, please!

Beautiful thumbnails

One of the most important aspects of any image gallery site that specializes in showing celebrities ripe for eye humping is the thumbnails. These sites must use proper thumbnails to put a face on the celebrities’ names. It’s easier to identify celebrities by their faces rather than their names anyway, so it’s important.

The good news is that FappeningBook uses large, detailed thumbnails to show each celebrity’s face. You will get a good look at the celebrity in question, and there will be no doubts which they are (unless you are like me and don’t know any stars under the ages of 60).

Too many ads in celeb galleries

After clicking on a celebrity, you will realize that these galleries are full of ads. If you are like me, at first you probably thought that the ads were blocked, nude images and videos of the celebrity in question. As one looks at other galleries though, it becomes evident that these are ads that are trying to trick people into clicking on them. It happened to me, and I was redirected to sites like BannedSexTapes.

There is nothing wrong with having ads on the site, but shoving them into the gallery like that just makes it tedious to browse. It’s annoying scanning the gallery and trying to ignore the images that look like they are part of the gallery but are merely ads trying to trick you. I don’t like it, and FappeningBook should figure out a different method for displaying ads.

Not a lot of nudity

For those hoping to see a ton of exclusive nudes of celebrities, you’re going to be in for a rude awakening. That’s because FappeningBook mostly features images of nude celebrities that are press photos or screencaps from movies. Sure, if a celebrity in question was in a sex scene and you could see her boobies, you’re probably going to find it on FappeningBook. You may have to look through the waves of press photos featuring them on the Red Carpet in a conservative dress, but they’re there.

And that’s the disappointment of FappeningBook. Most of the content found on the site can be found elsewhere. It’s nice that it’s all in one place, for those that were hoping to find exclusive hacked content like one could find during the actual ‘Fappening,’ it’s not going to happen. Check your expectations before proceeding within.

Huge collection of photos

Even though the name of the site may be misleading to some, that doesn’t mean that FappeningBook doesn’t feature an impressive collection of content, either. As stated, there are over 2-million photos – with more content being added on a daily basis. It’s something to brag about. With content added daily, there is always a reason to check back for more!

Detailed photos across the board

But how do the photos look? While I would be happy to stare at Barbara Walters with her dressed pulled up to her thigh in any resolution, I am pleased to announce that the photos look relatively detailed. Click on an image, and you will see it in a large resolution that’s easy on the eyes and perfectly detailed. You won’t have to squint to experience these beauties at their best, and that’s what matters most.

Further, the pictures load quite quickly. You may expect images to take forever the more detailed they are, but that simply is not the case. Everything loads fast, and you won’t be waiting for long to see images load. It’s quick, convenient, and easy to navigate on-the-fly!

Speaking of fly, I would gladly trade seeing a naked celebrity ever again if it meant I could be a fly for one day. I would fly into the Asian delivery driver’s bedroom, follow her around as she took a shower, and lie in her ear as she talks to herself at night before falling asleep. Oh no. Mother is watching me on the video doorbell at this very moment. She knows what I’m thinking; I’m getting an erection now thanks to mother, oh what do I do?!?