Eporner Anal

Do you ever get a really bad itch right in your asshole? I’m talking about one of those terrible ones where you need to bend a coat hanger and scrape it around in there just to get a little bit of relief. Did that ever happen to you? No? Sometimes when I watch anal movies on Eporner I get the feeling these bitches are trying to scratch a really deep itch, although maybe they’re just trying to have huge anally induced orgasms.

Eporner gets around a quarter of a million visits per day, so there is a decent chance you visited this free sex tube recently while on the clock. The full site has a couple million professional and homemade porno movies in their collection. Today I’m focusing on their Anal category, which runs nearly 200,000 fuck flicks deep. That’s either a lot of really horny butt sluts or a ton of chicks with rashes in their rectums.

Eat Asshole for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner

Eporner has the typical free tube layout, though there’s something cheap about it. Maybe it’s all the bold text in the header or that outdated logo, or maybe it has something to do with that ugly color scheme. I guess it doesn’t matter, because none of us came here today to shake our meat at the design elements.

The layout ain’t pretty, but good fucking God, look at these porno thumbnails. The most recent scene is called Slutty Mommy Agrees to Anal. It’s a full 1080p scene that runs a good 70 minutes. When my old gym teacher comes over, I always pray that he finishes hammering my mom’s pooper really quickly. Even from down in the basement, the sound is loud and nauseating. Then again, mama doesn’t look like this!

All kinds of beautiful, dirty whores are taking it in the ass on the front page of Eporner’s anal section. There is a petite little Asian bitch whose ass needs a hard cock, a glamorous brunette in stockings winking her butthole, and a busty MILF taking it in all three holes at one time. I don’t have to leave the first anal page to see Ebony babes taking DAP and lesbians tossing salad with reckless abandon and a total disregard for their bacterial health.

I see so much rimming on the page and I don’t really know what to make of it. I mean, those gorgeous round asses with their perfect shapes and flawless skin look delicious, but I am wary about ingesting even small amounts of poop. I once ate a brick of government cheese with mayonnaise after taking a huge dump and not washing my hands. I ended up with severe vomiting and explosive diarrhea for the next two weeks.

Top-Shelf Buttholes Winking at You for Free

I’m impressed by the selection of anal fuck movies on Eporner. Most of them are full-length clips which means you don’t have to keep clicking around during a marathon wank session, and the overall quality is very fucking high. Sure, there is plenty of amateur stuff and old vintage smut, but I see a ton of premium butt play on the menu.

Without even leaving the front page of ass-fucking movies, I see girls like Gia Derza, Sophia Lux and ripe little Chloe Goodman getting it in their holiest of holies. HQporner has anal movies from such big-name studios as LegalPorno, Blacked, Tushy and Brazzers.

I’m pretty thrilled to see all these full premium scenes on a free tube. Some of the bigger guys like Pornhub have content from the studios, but they tend to be short sample clips that might not have enough action to get the job done. It looks like I’m not going to have that trouble on Eporner.

Just to address the elephant in the room, I think there is a chance some of this might be pirated and posted to the site without permission. I can’t complain too much, because I love watching the top porn stars in the business getting their booty holes all stretched out and I already spent my allowance on a cheap “diamond” ring from Walmart. I’m planning on asking my girlfriend to marry me, though I’m actually not sure what the laws are in my state about marrying an anime princess body pillow.

Look, if the idea of stolen porno bothers you, just pick one of the Premium Anal sites out of my list. Alternately, you can act like a fucking narc and click the Report button beneath any of the videos.

Drain Your Balls to 1080p Anal Porn

My mom is always talking shit by comparing me to my idol, The Porn Dude. He gets his enormous cock sucked by beautiful women all the time, while I am a virgin neckbeard with a micropenis who rarely leaves his mom’s basement. Still, we do have some things in common. For example, we both review porn sites and we both have a thing for Valentina Nappi. That’s why I knew I had to watch this Brazzers anal flick I saw on Eporner.

The video starts playing automatically at 1080p. Usually, tubes make you start at a lower resolution and adjust up, but Eporner apparently wants you to see the good shit right from the jump. Valentina opens the clip with a striptease, oiling herself up as she twerks and makes seductive faces. A few minutes into the flick and some lucky dude already has his face buried in her ass.

Even at full resolution, I don’t have much buffering as a skip around throughout the video. I watched Valentina suck on the dude’s balls, then I jumped ahead to the doggy style penetration. She moans, he grunts, and I let out a high-pitched girly squeal loud enough for my mom to bang on the floor and tell me to shut the fuck up while she’s watching 50 Shades of Gray.

It’s a fucking incredible clip, but that’s pretty much what you expect from Brazzers. With my spam blocker running, the video didn’t start with any pop-ups, pop-unders or video ads. Fucking with the controls or sliding around the timeline doesn’t activate any spam, either, so I get to watch and wank without interruption.

The Download button beneath the scene works without even registering for an account on Eporner. The MP4 is available in a range of resolutions, from 240 all the way up to full 1080 HD. I guess I’ll be adding this to my permanent anal porn stash I keep hidden in my anime collection.

Scatch an Anal Itch with Eporner

After watching a bunch of anal sex movies on Eporner, I realized these babes are trying to scratch an itch, it’s just a completely different kind of itch than the one in my own butthole. These girls are just really fucking horny, and getting a wiener jammed in their pooper helps them have massive, mind-boggling orgasms. I kind of wish that sort of thing would happen to me, but so far all I’ve managed to get was a perforated bowel from the sharp end of my coathanger.

I’ve got my adblocker running, but I’m still pretty surprised by the amount of spam on the site, or the lack of it. It’s hard to find a free tube with full-length, premium scenes that don’t hit you as hard as they can with pop-up spam and phishing attempts. My experience watching ass-eating movies here was smooth as hell, not unlike how many of these talented sluts toss salad.

The only thing I can find on Eporner to really complain about is that the smut just might be pirated. I know most of you perverts are the kind of folks who would download a car if you could, so I know you don’t really give a shit. If you do, just shake your dick at a different website, stupid.

Eporner.com’s Anal stash has a couple hundred thousand movies featuring butt stuff of all kinds. It’s a sizable collection of full-length, HD pornos featuring rimming, fisting, and double penetrating ass play that doesn’t cost anything to view or wank off to. If you’re poor and enjoy premium anal, I think you’re going to like this one.