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Xpee
Mom made good on her promise to change the Wi-Fi password if I didn’t clean my bedroom, so I’ve spent the week leeching the McDonald’s Wi-Fi. I’ve been living off unfinished Big Macs and ketchup packets, and frankly, I’ve been getting a lot of diarrhea. My stools are generally pretty loose and runny, but it seems like I can barely watch a single buttfuck scene before rushing back to the toilet. The constant shitting with a semi-erect penis has put me in a really weird fucking mood, and I’ve spent all morning browsing XPee.
Xpee.com has been around since 1999, and they get nearly 2 million visits per month. That makes them one of the biggest and longest-running scat sites on the Internet. One day I hope to have a legacy like that, which is what I keep telling mom. She gets a little pissy when she has to waddle down into the basement and plunge the toilet because I dropped another bomb, but come on! Some people are just into that sort of thing.
Pants-Shitting Makes Me Feel at Home
Porn is a funny thing. It’s hot and sexy, getting most people all hot and bothered and ready to fuck when they see it. There is a sliding scale of depravity, though. As things get wetter and messier and all the fluids start flying, some people get a little turned off while the true perverts get even more turned on. For some folks, gross is sexy. So where’s the line? Some people hate creampies or when a girl gets jizz all over her face, other people think the growing crusty spot on my anime princess body pillow is a biohazard. Different strokes for different folks, am I right? That’s definitely true for the scat and golden showers videos on Xpee. They’ve even got a stomach-churning collection of puke porn. I’ll be honest here. Usually, I’m just trying to copy The Porn Dude, but I’m more than a little bit out of my element when I watch people getting their dicks sucked or engaging in wild sorority orgies. I’m still a virgin, though I’m hoping to become a man before I reach 50. My point is sex videos make me a little uncomfortable. Shitting videos, on the other hand? Goddamn, this is my wheelhouse! The newest video is a short clip of a hot girl dropping a deuce in her black panties. It’s fucking amazing to have something in common with a beautiful woman in a porn scene. Granted, I usually shart accidentally into a pair of Dragon Ball Z boxers, but it’s basically the same.Just Look at All This Shit
Xpee has what looks like a typical free sex tube layout. If you don’t look too hard, you’d think this wall of porn thumbnails is full of the typical blowjobs and public indecency, lesbian action and teen camwhoring you see on any tube. Maybe that’s by design, to keep the normals from freaking out immediately; they are pretty tiny thumbnails. Once your eyes adjust, you notice all the brown stuff. That blowjob clip actually opens with the girl pooping on the dude’s junk, which must give it a chocolatey flavor because she slurps the fuck out of it. The girl exposing herself in public ain’t flashing her tits, she’s taking a messy dump. The 69 those lesbians are engaged in has a lot of brown paste erupting from each end. That teen experimenting with sordid Internet fame? Guess what she’s eating to claim her 15 minutes. It’s not a Tide Pod or a spoonful of cinnamon. Now I’ve planted a seed in your shit-loving brain, and you won’t be satisfied until the Shit-Eating Grin Challenge becomes a real thing on YouTube. The default view on the front page of Xpee shows the newest movies first. They seem to be adding a consistent five scat/pee/vomit movies per day, which is a lot more than I expected. Then again, I guess it makes sense. I’m on the can a dozen times a day, but I never ever get laid. If I had to make my own porn video site, it would probably look a lot like this one, only all the videos would feature a really fat guy with a neckbeard, and you’d probably hear my mom yelling at me in the background.Poop and Masturbate Watching Girls Poop and Masturbate
Fecal matter, along with urine, is generally considered garbage that needs to be disposed of as soon as possible. It’s a little ironic that a website that obsesses over waste products also seems to have a raging hard-on for spam. Be careful where you put that mouse. I got pop-ups from stray clicks almost as soon as I hit the page. You will also get pop-up spam when you click through to a video, and when you press the Play button on a video. That’s with a good adblocker running, so you’re probably going to get anally raped if you try jerking off to the site without a digital condom. The video player is super basic, with no playback speed or resolution controls. Sorry, you’ll have to watch that explosive diarrhea blasting out of this hot schoolgirl’s butthole at regular speed. There’s no Download button, so you’ll have to use a browser plug-in if you want to save the clip of the girl shitting in the bathtub while diddling her skittle. Most of the videos are clearly pretty amateur, as the big studios really don’t want their pornstars shitting on camera. Video quality varies a lot, with a lot of scenes that look like they were shot on a goddamn toaster or something. Thankfully, more and more amateur scat fans have good cameras on their phones nowadays.Myriad Bodily Eruptions Caught On Video
I’m starting to feel a little bit queasy. It might be from that half-eaten fish sandwich I pulled out of the trash, or it might be from watching this hairy broad puking after eating a nice, heaping plate of her own steaming poop. The Girls Puking section seems to have a fair number of movies were girls puke up their own shit. I guess it’s like how the anal movies on a typical free tube also have vaginal penetration. Xpee only has a few categories, unlike your typical free tube with dozens or hundreds. Here, the options are for some pretty specific groups of fetishists. You can watch Girls Pooping, Girls Puking, Panty Poop, Pissing Videos, and Scat Videos. Something for everyone? Not quite, unless Oprah mentions coprophilia next week and it becomes the latest erotic craze like rainbow parties and sex bracelets. One thing I noticed about the sluts shitting, the whores ralphing, and the bimbos taking leaks is that for the most part, they look pretty good. Despite the fact that the whole place smells like a porta-John on a hot day, it’s still a porn site and porn fans like beautiful women. I guess that’s bad news for mom. She’s got various medical conditions that give her many oversized dumps per day, and I’m often stuck helping clean her up since she’s too fat to reach her butt crack. I was going to tell her about this website, but I’m not sure how much people really want to see brown pudding squirting out from between her flabby rolls. There’s an Upload button at the top, so if you’ve been shooting amateur shit play movies you can share with the rest of the class. Once again, I think I’ve overstayed my welcome at the local McDonald’s. All the customers have cleared away from the tables around me, and I see the manager pointing me out to the police who just walked in. I wonder what the problem is this time: the fact that I’m eating out of the trash and leeching off the Wi-Fi, the fact that I’ve been farting loudly to get myself in the right mood for Xpee, or the fact that I’m in a public place with my laptop volume at full blast, watching a woman in red lingerie masturbating with her own feces. Xpee may be free, but it ain’t for everyone. Only true fans of shit, piss and/or puke will be able to get off to the extensive video collection here. If you don’t like that stuff, stay the fuck away! If you’re into it, this is one of the very few places where you can human waste porn in such abundance.- Free shit, piss, and puke porn
- Hot girls doing gross things
- multiple updates per day
- Tons of spam with the shit, piss, and puke
- No downloads
- All the pretty girls have shitty assholes
Find a better FREE scat porn tube site than XPEE.COM on PornGeek!
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