Vixen porn! What a do everybody, here we are back again with another one of those loser reviews, and I am your host for today, mister Should-have-been-aborted. Today we have a special site called Vixen.com, and I am going to check it out and see what is it about, what does it look like, what perks do you get with it and so on. Of course, I'm not ThePornDude so it's probably going to suck balls, but hey, what can you do, right? So prepare yourselves, because we are about to begin.
The confusing homepage
When I first clicked on this site I was really confused. For a moment I thought that this was like a site for traveling or something like that, because at the homepage you have two indie-looking chicks being close to each other next to a large body of water. I mean, what the fuck is this? Some sort of a plane brochure? Anyways, enough with the jokes, now I'm about to spill some valuable information. First of all, the organisation is very nice, because right above the picture, you have everything you need to browse this site freely.You can see some good videos, you can search for different models, and they also have like a special model section called 'Vixen Angels', which also kind of reminds me of something that is closely tied to traveling, kinda like the employee of the month badge type of thing. When you scroll down you also get like a shortlist of maybe top models and top videos, and the latest videos as well. At the very bottom of the homepage, you have a counting mechanism that counts until the next video on this site drops. Very clever, innovative, new, fresh, and all around, this is a cool looking homepage, even if it looks overly happy and travel-y.
Their TV 1000 erotic style videos
First of all, when you enter this site, after you notice the homepage and all of its details, you're gonna want to search for some good videos. Well, I have some good news for you. Here, you can either see all of their videos mashed together, top-rated videos, or just like the newest videos in general, which is great, because their separation and their mechanism is good. Saying the word separation feels weird for me, because I still can't even manage to separate from my own mother, let alone anything else.I mean that probably is because I suck, have no job, have no friends, I never got laid in my entire life, I spend all of my days watching porn, and I also have a cum sock in the corner of my room which smells especially funny in the summer with the sun blazing off. Wow, did I say that out loud? Well, what can you do, except move on, right?About the quality of the videos, the quantity, and like the stories and everything in general, here you can see some videos that look mesmerizing and amazing, and their only flaw is that they remind you too much of everything that you want to have, but never could, because you're also a loser like me. Anyways, let me expand on this information, and give you some valuable tips and all of that jazz. First of all, if you just click on their videos button, of course, it's going to redirect you to the newest videos, because that's just the logic, you know, keeping everything in chronological order. Smart.Now, about what you can get before you become an actual member, the answer is really simple. You don't get shit. And that's the first serious flaw of this site. For example, before I pay for something like this, I always like to see what I get before I pay for that thing, because wasting money just sucks in general, and my mom is tightening my allowance, so...But still, if we are going to judge from the thumbnails, the videos look spot on, and they kind of seem more like a Maroon 5 music video or something like that than porn in general. With that being said, I hope that you guys have some cash to spill in order to like stir up your summer or something like that, because just judging from what I can see, this site is worth paying for, and you're probably going to have more fun on that than on any free porn site anyway.
The gorgeous models
About the models, there really is not much to say, since they are all beautiful, hot, and they just wake up some kind of a jealous feeling inside of you. I mean the sun is out there, people are having fun, girls are chasing after guys and vice versa, and we are all sitting in our basements watching porn or some kind of a deranged anime, and you just know that there's a pack of tissues next to our table anytime. Sometimes I just wish that I was more original and didn't have to steal jokes from ThePornDude, because maybe right now I would have at least some kind of success instead of having to metaphorically suck dick for money and writing this shit for you people.Anyways, to expand on my model information, some of the models here are Alex Grey, Alina Lopez, Lana Rhoades, and I'm sure that you will recognize many others as well. Seems like this site has a good collection of models that are working for them, and they just work hard to create great content in general, which is refreshing, because not a lot of sites try hard these days, because they just know that they will have an audience because there are guys out there that just need this. So, Vixen.com, good for you. Good for you.
And now something special
One special thing that caught my mind right at the beginning, is the fact that they are separating the regular models that are working for this site, from so called 'Vixen Angels'. Now at first, I didn't get what that was all about, but after a bit of research, I simply concluded that these girls and the attitude surrounding them is a fantastic thing. Hear me out, and you will figure what it's all about too, and trust me, you're going to be amazed.What really is the deal here is the fact that they chose girls who are the best at what they do, generally have amazing bodies, but they are also blessed with so much charisma that it isn't even fair. I mean, when I try to flirt and show my stomach around, people tell me to get the fuck out of their way and wash myself, but a girl like that could smear herself in shit, and nobody would bat an eye. I mean it is true that I have absolutely zero muscle mass and all of that, but still, even with all the heat outside, the world can still be a cold place.Now some of the girls that are working here are Ivy Wolfe (she's amazing), Adriana Chechik, Mia Malkova, and Riley Reid. I think that by now you for sure got at least some kind of an idea about how it all functions over here, and I think that if you take an even deeper look, you will surely decide to become a member, because even without the membership, this site seems addictive. And if you click on one of the Vixen's Angels, you will get to see some of their pictures, their video scenes, and you can maybe get like a quote or two about their attitude and their pride in becoming a model for this site.That's how you know that the site is great and that the girls are willing to put in some serious work and produce for you. Hey, Vixen, I got an idea. Record a cuckold video and let me be an actor in it. But not like a cuck, but even worse. I'll be that cuck that watches the real cuck who's watching his girlfriend getting ripped in half, and maybe I can like, tickle his asshole while he's crying.
Now about the registration and the conclusion, this is pretty easy in general. A couple of nice words first - they currently have a huge discount because of the 4th July, and they are now giving out a 70% discount, so go ahead and complete your purchase, because you don't want to miss a chance like this. Pfft, I know you can't even afford it. About the registration in itself, you just need to put your email address and form a strong password, and the third and final step is to choose the membership you want.You can test it out with a $1 trial, and if you like it, you can just either buy 30-day access or full-year access, and that is basically it. 30-day Access is $10, and full-year access is going to cost you $120, which is a cool deal. If I'm already doing this, they might as well give me a premium membership, but oh well...