MYLF

Milf porn! Do you feel like getting your dick sucked or rode on by a gorgeous MILF with a fat ass? I sure do…hell, I wish any type of girl would do something like that to me, yet here I am, sitting behind my keyboard, typing out articles for involuntary celibates such as me on the internet. In the end, we have each other, and we have pornography. These are great ways to comfort ourselves, as far as I can tell. I mean, in the end, me, PornGeek, sure doesn’t mind reviewing pornography and all that, but it feels somewhat pointless as there’s someone out there who does it a little bit better than I do, and there seems to be no hope for me to ever catch up! I’m looking at you, PornDude!

Not only do we share the same first name, but he also has a cooler last name. He’s a dude, a stud, a stallion, yet I have to be a fucking geek! Goddammit, why did I get trapped inside such a useless flesh prison? Should I just transcend my material needs? Take up a religion…Buddhism or maybe even just become a Christian monk and live in a distant monastery. The possibilities are endless, but I can’t just let pornography go…I just have to deal with PornDude first.

Now, I am aware that I sound like a cheesy 80s movie villain, but honestly, I don’t even care at this point as I am fully aware of what kind of person I am. I have self-realized myself and embraced this virginity of mine completely. I would not necessarily say that it is a bad thing as many men in the past have accomplished great deeds while ignoring women completely. Now, you can’t really say that I exactly turned girls down because I wanted my dick to be “spoiled” but them, as I don’t really care much about chastity. The truth is that they never really took an interest in me, and this pisses me off quite a bit.

Websites such as Mylf.com are there to help me keep the illusion that I am not a lonely self-deprecating idiot that lives in his mother’s basement and obsesses over some obscene type of pornography. Well, life is whatever you make out of it, and if you decide that it is good, then it is good. While I am not entirely happy with what’s going on right now, I try to keep my head up high…my rivalry with ThePornDude is the only thing keeping me going at this point.

Now that you know what I am about, how about we talk about this little website right here and see just what’s it all about? You’re in for a relatively comfortable ride as this page looks, and works very, very smooth. Imagine the average tube website as a tin can. Now, you can pretend that Mylf.com is a golden-plated diamond cup filled with top-notch champagne. Then, add some big booty bitches to twerk next to you while you sip from your chalice, and you have the full Mylf experience!

No, this is not about that one song by Fergie

You got that, you got that, you got that MILF money! God, I adore that tune! I mean, Fergie is, so God damn hot. She’s almost hot enough for me to forgive what she did to the American anthem at the NBA 2018 all-star game. Almost.

Those amazing hips, her huge titties, and a gorgeous ass on the back. I mean, how can you not love this type of woman? If you’re a fan just like me, and you maybe even have mommy issues, then it is time for you to head out to Mylf.com, a website Oedipus would love to visit. Now, I’m not implying you fuckers would like to bang your biological mothers as that type of thing is just straight-up weird and repulsive. However, I am almost certain that you would love to bone some sort of warm, soft, loving mother figure.

I mean, it’s not like you can pass up on such an opportunity, can you?

These titles are getting a bit too vague…maybe. I believe The Porn Dude does these a little bit better, but I have no idea how he does it! Maybe it’s because the man has a bit more experience than I do? Well, he doesn’t come off as an old person, that’s for sure. However, he’s most likely older than me in the end, so I do believe that’s why he does better than me. However, at some point, the student is supposed to do better than the teacher, so don’t be surprised if I start outdoing The Porn Dude one day.

You’ll see…my articles will soon become the best porn articles out there, and there will be no one to oppose me! However, before my pornographic domination over the world begins, I’d like to lay back and talk about Mylf.com, a website that’s very, very chill to browse. I mean, in the end, pages such as this one are pretty god damn simple to use, and they’re literal heaven.

Now is a great opportunity for me to clarify the title of this part of the review! What I meant by “you can’t pass up on the opportunity” is that this page is not completely free! Well, obviously, seeing as the page has tons of big names such as Audrey Black, Phoenix Marie and Vanessa Cage on there…you can’t let people have these things for free. Furthermore, the page has loads and loads of amazing movies up on it and more than 200 photo galleries, which is just straight-up amazing.

So much content, you won’t ever manage to finish masturbating to it, even if you started right now! Well…if you’re really persistent and if you don’t take too long to cum, then you might manage to ejaculate at least once to every single one of these images. I wonder if The Porn Dude jacks off to the porn he reviews?

To be honest, I am weak-willed, and for this reason, I simply can not hold back. So, I sometimes whip it out while I review my pages. This is okay to me…as I believe The Porn Dude does the exact same thing. God…I sound like an absolute freak when I talk about these things. I can’t imagine someone talking about me this much, though it’s not like I want anyone’s attention anyway!

They come in all shapes and sizes

While the MILF cuties on this page, for the most part, have large titties, fat asses, and broad hips, the movies don’t have a single “body type” going on for them, which is nice. Of course, the best HD resolution is available to you from the start, and you can also download the movies. Of course, if you want to watch the movies in a lower resolution, then you are also able to do it in lower resolutions such as 480p and 360p. All in all, if you want the full experience, it is best that you stick to the highest resolution and wait patiently for the movie to load up for you, but if you don’t think patience is one of your virtues, then stream the movies in the lowest resolution, because why the fuck not!

Seeing as I’m trapped in the basement underneath my mother’s living room, I don’t have a nice internet connection. So, for this reason, I have to load the movies in the highest resolution possible, while my idol can probably download them in 1080p right away…it’s such a shame. What do you think, would he do this good of a job if he had a shitty internet connection like this?

The bonuses

See, a two-day trial of this website is basically free. It’s just one dollar after all, but you don’t have to worry about getting the movies on this page to play all year long, as the one-year membership is very, very simple as well. Furthermore, it’s extremely cheap. But yeah, the trial is very cheap, too, so make sure to check it out.

Furthermore, you’re not bound to a single website, and you get seven bonus pages, which is just straight-up amazing! I mean, that’s so much porn for you to watch, I feel like you’ll overdose in the end!

In conclusion

If I take everything into consideration, I can only conclude that this website (often misspelled as “milfty”) right here is pretty god damn neat. The browsing is neat, the models are absolutely gorgeous, and the movies are just amazing! Obviously, this doesn’t come for free, but the prices aren’t too high either way, so there’s nothing to worry about. I wonder if ThePornDude will read this review?