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Before I discovered the world of far superior and far softer anime girl pillows, I was solely infatuated with flesh and blood women. It seems childish to think back on now, but I was a naïve young boy. Pillows (and the occasional tryst with a blow-up doll) are the way to go for real-life relationships, I’ve learned that now. But for some strange reason, there isn’t that much porn of them out there… So we’re stuck with sites like PornHub, which offer the next best thing—videos of real living women having sex with and sucking off cool dudes like ThePornDude… and maybe guys like me, someday. PornHub’s amateur section is where I met my first love. She was a tall brunette with big tits and a gentle voice. Kind of like mommy. But that was in my long-gone youth, and her name has been lost to the ravages of time alone with my once-trim waistline. I hope we shall meet again someday, but until then, I’ll be sure to spend at least a few hours each day searching the seas of PornHub’s amateur category in the hopes that we’re reunited. I might jerk off a few times while looking, but that doesn’t mean I love her any less. I’m only human.

PornHub’s Presentation

I’ve been using PornHub ever since my dick got big enough to fit between two of my fingers. The design worked then, and it works now—it might not be winning any awards, but it does something even more special. It gives us unobtrusive access to the types of girls that only guys like ThePornDude can normally get, the types of size queens who need a cock that you can fit four whole fingers on. I know these types of guys are one in a million, but the girls on PornHub’s amateur section are just that special. The focus of the site is the porn. It’s not a dating site and I’m fine with that—I’ve already got my soft, pretty pillow, and the inflated girls I picked up at the sex shop when I’m looking for a little variety (shh, don’t tell her!) The video thumbnails show brief preview, and that’s usually enough for me to find something that my little baby boy between my legs likes. What else could a guy need? Browse until you find a queen deserving of your seed, cream your jeans, and come back next time to show her that you’re loyal and that you’ll love her forever. It's all just as good on my phone, too. If you’re like me, a lot of your best faps come when mommy and daddy are using the computer room, so its good to be able to sneak a look at these beauties even when the computer is occupied. Just make sure you don’t use the good towels to wipe up after yourself, or mommy is going to spank you again. And she spanks harder when you enjoy it, so don’t think that you’ll be able to find a way out of it.

Finding Your Dream Girl

Attempt to momentarily avert your eyes from the young nubile goddesses gracing us with their virtual presence and you’ll discover that there is a website behind all of the beauty. This is why I keep coming back to PornHub’s amateur section when mommy says my girlfriend has too many stains and needs to be washed. The amateur category page on PornHub has everything you expect. You can look at videos that the good people at PornHub have featured, or if you want to see what the Chads like ThePornDude are into, you can sort by view count or rating. This gives you a pretty good selection to choose from, but it’s still missing something in my mind. It’s not personalized. If you’re like me, you need a bit more power. Porn is my kingdom. Porn is my life. I’ve been masturbating close to six times a day for as long as I can remember, so I can’t just settle down with any old video. I need something specific. I’m not some weirdo into fetish stuff or anything, I just sometimes like to see Japanese schoolgirls get tied down and molested by tentacle monsters. Just your basic, every day, normal porn. PornHub comes to the rescue with a huge selection of ways to filter its amateur content. Just about every type of girl uploads amateur porn to PornHub and filters help the nice guys like you and me who respect women too much to film our love-making find it. It’s not that they won’t touch me or let me film them, it’s that I care about women. It’s a choice. Really. Even alphas like ThePornDude should try these filters out. Think back to your last amazing fuck then use filters to find a recreation of it. Then call me to tell me about it, ok? I’m not lonely or anything, I just think you’re pretty cool and I think we’d get along. I’ll be around, ok? But filters are even more important for discerning connoisseurs like me. By combining filters, I can cut through the stuff that I don’t care about to focus on the spectacular. When I spy a special girl while picking up chicken tendies at the grocery store, I can come to PornHub and find an exact match and watch the luckiest man in the world make sweet love to her. While mommy cooks my tendies, I can cum all over myself imagining I’m with my dream girl. Doing this helps me fight my urges, I haven’t been banned from a single store for sexual harassment since finding PornHub’s amateur section. Well, maybe one, but that totally wasn’t my fault.

Some Beauty Isn’t Free

The main problem I have with PornHub’s amateur content is that the site keeps trying to steal my money. Mommy and daddy work very hard to support me, so they don’t let me spend my money on porn. They say I should go out and get a girlfriend instead—but why don’t they see that what me and my pillow have is love? I have a better girlfriend than they could ever realize. First is PornHub Premium, which doesn’t do much for people like me who want to see real, homemade porn, not the overproduced fake glitz and glamor of professional porn. The premium service does give an ad-free experience, which is kind of nice, but the main thing it offers is videos by studios like Brazzers, Mofos, Girls do Porn, and Digital Playground. I prefer real women. The type that is so beautiful and so perfect that I may one day determine one to be worthy of granting my virginity to. If only such a worthy maiden would present herself to me, sigh. If Premium does interest you, though, you’ll be happy to learn that, you should know that PornHub will use a discreet biller name on their invoices and charges, so when momma and papa take a look they’ll have no idea that you’re spending your allowance on porn. What’s so much worse is that the angels who upload their beauty to PornHub are now starting to charge us for the privilege of watching them take giant four-inch dicks. Yes, all women are perfect in every way, and they’re perfectly within their rights to profit from their exhaustingly hard work, but it really ruins a masturbation session when you have to run to mommy’s room with your pants around your ankles to borrow her credit card mid-fap. Some girls will have a few free videos, then hide the good stuff behind their own personal paywall. They trick you into falling in love with them for free, but then when you want to take the relationship to the next level by watching them get covered in the love-juice of five black guys, they ask for a bit of money. Sigh. But who am I to complain? Until I’m lucky enough to find my true fair maiden who let me watch her fuck other men in person, this is the best I’ll get. One day I’ll make such a beauty my wife, but for now, I’m happy to watch her smiling face through the screen as I blow my load all over my tummy. Shit, I’m out of tissues. I hope mommy doesn’t see me waddling to the bathroom with my pants around my ankles…