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DrunkenStepfather

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drunkenstepfather.com

Drunken Stepfather! Hello my fellow porn consumers, today I have something to announce. Something that is very disturbing to me and something that might be disturbing to you. You see, even though DrunkenStepfather.com is a great site, and we will be reviewing it today, it still scares me. Not the site, but the name. Maybe I don't have a stepfather exactly, but my own father used to come home drunk and then abuse the shit out of us. So excuse me if today's review sounds even less confident than the others. But, even though on the one hand it scares me, on the other it makes me horny. That's simply because I've been addicted to porn for so long. And incest porn now seems like a specialty to me. ThePornDude would probably agree, at least about me being a total degenerate at this point. Anyways, without further ado, let's just dive into it before I get PTSD flashbacks about my dad's military belt. Or maybe he's going to get his war flashbacks, and he's going to strangle me again because I look like a Muslim to him.

The first look

Unfortunately, DrunkenStepfather.com really lives up to its name, at least in the looks. And in the general navigation of the site. About the looks, right at the very top of the site, you get a guy in a ski mask telling you that 'he'll make you famous,' which just creeps me the fuck out. Second, I don't see any real porn, nor do I see any real options of finding it. Of course, there is still so much to explore on this site, but right off the bat, I can say that it looks shitty and that I don't want to spend any additional time here. Luckily, I get paid for this, and money is a strong motivator, so I'll withstand the traumas for a little more time. Money is a good motivator, though, as I've already said, and I remember a particular instance in high school that involved money. You see, my 'friends' back then, managed to hire a prostitute to have sex with me, because they were sick and tired of me being a virgin and complaining about it. Of course, when I got there, all ready to have sex (keep in mind, I was a green and inexperienced guy, and I was pretty picky back then), all I saw is a giant black man in a blonde wig and a tiny leopard-print skirt. When I asked my friends what the fuck is this, they said that they couldn't pay for anything better. I was almost ready to do it out of desperation, but the asshole burns didn't seem so attractive, so I passed. Now I'd do it honestly. Especially because they beat the living fuck out of me when the prostitute left, for 'wasting their money.'

Navigation

Okay, I can tell you right now that all of this is pretty useless, but okay. Before everything else, you should now that this really isn't even a porn site. DrunkenStepfather.com is some kind of a journal that stores both porn-related articles and your regular ones. Or as the ordinary people would say - 'safe for work articles.' And almost every link you click on here will probably redirect you somewhere else, so instead of getting anything truly interesting, you mostly get a whole packet of shady sites all tied together. Luckily, most of their articles are related to porn or at least a mild form of pornography, which is okay. You know I don't do non-porn sites, it makes me sick to my stomach. Seeing normal things and what people enjoy... It just makes me sad because I will never ever have that. I feel like I'm just cursed to total degeneracy till the end of my life. Unless I marry a mentally 'slow' person. Maybe someone like that can appreciate me. So yeah, some of the exciting things on here are for example the DrunkenStepfather.com's forum, and his TV, which I guess is just a journalism based site. The videos that he's advertising on his site have absolutely nothing to do with porn, but they can still be funny if you like videos that contain morons in them. I guess that this site is a mix of porn and other, but more mild weird stuff. If you like that, feel free to check it out. I know I'm going to definitely do it, because, you know, it feels nice. It feels really empowering to actually see someone who's even more retarded than me doing stupid stuff. While I'm laughing at them, it makes me feel like an average person once again, and it makes me forget about all the crazy shit that my parents do. I know I'm probably boring you with my traumas by now, but please understand me. This is the only place where I feel like I belong and like I'm actually worth something. It lets me fantasize about what's it like being ThePornDude and having all of that success.

The perks and the 'second mode'

At least the first perk that I see here is the lack of registration. BUT, you can still choose to join the newsletter if you want to, which is cool. Another great perk, in my opinion, is the 'second mode.' What's the second mode, you're asking? Well, finally, this is my moment. My own moment where I can act like I'm a smart ass and like I'm above everyone else. My own way of healing my soul after it's been broken by all the failures. And the answer is... The NSFW mode, otherwise known as the Not Safe For Work mode. A pretty clever thing, right? So if you're at work or something, you can browse DrunkenStepfather.com freely by turning on the Safe For Work mode. And in your own private time, switch it up, and find something interesting. Something interesting that's also dirty as fuck. That's what I'm going to do from now on at family reunions. When there are people around, I'll browse the secure version, but the moment they leave... Oh, boy. My dick's about to take the most brutal beating ever.

A bit about the content

If we're talking about the content, and I know that we're all here for the porn content, you need to understand some things first. Wow, we're writing about DrunkenStepfather.com, and this is the exact same thing my dad told me. Only he told me 'you need to understand that you'll always be a loser'... Well, luckily, this isn't the case here, I just have a small thing that I need to tell you. On this site, their NSFW content is all about the celebrities, which means that there's no regular content here. You can find excellent celebrity stuff that's related to their nudes, their magazine shots, their bikini pictures, paparazzi sneak photos, and everything else. So if you were expecting something juicier, guess you're not going to get it. But the content is good though, DrunkenStepfather.com knows their shit. I'm pretty satisfied, and you'll probably be too. At least in a sexual sense, for me. Because I know that deep down, I'm deeply disappointed in my life, and I wish that my mind and body were different. Unfortunately, that's never going to happen, and I need to live through this hellish experience that I was so unlucky to get. As a wise man called Mick Jagger once said - 'You can't always get what you want.' Right?

Registration and conclusion

As I've previously said, while you don't necessarily need to register, you can subscribe to DrunkenStepfather.com's newsletter. So, if that sounds interesting, go and do precisely that. Other than that, there's really not much to talk about. DrunkenStepfather.com is an excellent site, the content is exciting, but it's nothing special. Everything is free, which is cool, and the general organization of the site isn't really complicated. Basically, it's everything that you would expect from a place like this, and you probably won't be disappointed. At least now like my mother was when her knees stopped working. She was so baffled, and I just told her that it's because of her weight. Unfortunately, she threw a table at me afterward, so I had to go to the ER to get my head checked out. And that's when I got into a huge debt. Luckily, everything's clear now, but I had to eat ramen noodles only for months in order to pay for it. Wow, I just realized that I am boring myself, I can't imagine how it is for you guys. So, yeah, let's wrap this up quickly. If you liked the review, stay on my site! If you liked DrunkenStepfather.com, subscribe to his website too! Peace out!