Club Seventeen

ClubSeventeen! “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.”I know that you must have heard this very famous quote before, spoken by the character, David Wooderson, played by Matthew McConaughey in the cult classic 90’s movie, Dazed and Confused. And, hey, honestly, I have to say, I agree with him. To an extent. Obviously, I don’t go for underage chicks … that’s just not cool (not to mention illegal … and I would not fare well in prison; I would be somebody’s bitch in a heartbeat). But when it comes to teen girls, 18 to 21, man, I cannot get enough of them.And I am definitely getting older. I’m closing in on 40 here, faster than I’d care to admit, and, so, each day that passes now pushes me further and further away from the possibility of ever actually having relations, if you will, with a sexy teen. Heck, even an ugly teen probably wouldn’t touch me. I’m old, I’m balding, I’m getting fat, and I’m ugly. Not to mention completely socially inept. I wouldn’t have the slightest idea of what to even say to hot teen chick if she came up to me and started talking, even if she was very clearly horny and, for some impossible reason that defies all logic, chose me to satiate her urges. I would definitely fold. No doubt about it.Do you know who probably bangs the hottest teen chicks on a regular basis, though? The Porn Dude. If you’ve been reading my reviews for a while now, chances are you already know about my hero, The Porn Dude. But for those of you who are unfamiliar, allow me to introduce you to the coolest person I’ve never met (I would totally meet him, by the way, but he still hasn’t responded to any of my darned emails!).He’s the whole reason I ever started writing porn site reviews in the first place. I molded my site after his. And he’s definitely drowning in poon. You can just tell by the confidence and swagger with which he writes (not to mention the fact that he talks about it often). Gosh, I would lick a ball sack just to be him for a minute!

A Salute to the Ladies of Porn

But just because I will never have sex with a beautiful teen girl doesn’t mean that I cannot still enjoy them. And that, my friends, is the miracle of porn. It allows a guy like me, someone who probably will never get laid at this point, who will probably die a virgin, the gift of release. This is more appreciated than anyone will ever know, especially since I’m basically just a walking ball of sexual frustration.I wish I could let all the girls who do porn know what a great and noble service they are providing for guys like me. And on the unlikely chance that one of you ladies is reading this review, give a geek a chance and I will go down on you for hours. I am a very generous lover. Or at least I have always imagined myself to be. Give me a shot and let’s find out!!I watch teen porn almost exclusively. I never had a thing for the MILF stuff or the cougars. I get that experience can be sexy and yadda-yadda, but that’s not my thing. I like innocence. I like soft and smooth skin, still untainted by the cruel hands of time. I like petite little bodies, perky boobies, tight and taut cooters, all still unburdened by the cruelty of gravity. I like my girls like I like my coffee … hot, fresh, and full of cream!

40 Years in, and Still Going Strong

When it comes to making teen porn, though, there is probably no site on the internet that has more experience than Club Seventeen. This is one of those old, old-school institutions of the porn industry. It’s been around, actually, longer than I have been alive! Founded in 1979 by Arthur Martin, no other porn site that I know of has nearly as much industry experience. Which, of course, leads to some of the best porn you’ve ever seen. In a word, their content is … transcendent. It’s truly on another level.And the girls. Oh, good lord, the girls. They are so, so beautiful. And young. And fit. And innocent. And soft. And petite. And perky. And, frankly, downright perfect. Honestly, they are unlike any other girls you will find in the porn industry. I don’t know where Club Seventeen finds some of these women. They are out of this world. Stellar. Well, actually, Club Seventeen is a Dutch company, so, I guess they probably find them in Europe. Nothing in the world matches the beauty of a pristine Euro babe. They’re in a league of their own.The content, too, that Club Seventeen puts out is just as excellent as the girls are. Which, with these girls looking the way they do, that is really the only way to do them justice. The quality of the porn is incredible. HD. 4K. Crystal clear. Hyper realistic. And the way in which these videos are shot is also unique and interesting. It’s hardcore porn, for sure, through and through. But it’s shot in very artful and tasteful ways, adding a high brow element to it that is woefully missing in a lot of hardcore XXX that is put out today.It’s not just about showcasing the aggression and the plowing and the screaming and the squirting the way a lot of other studios are. Club Seventeen has a more intimate bent. I definitely wouldn’t call it an Art, erotic, softcore, or feminist porn site, though, so don’t get disappointed by my description. It is simply artistically shot hardcore porn, featuring some of the most uniquely sexy women you’ve ever laid eyes on (and that you will definitely, in your mind, lay sperm on!).

This Site will Suck You In

The site itself, on another note, is … well, I guess the best way to describe it would be immense. There is so much to see, tons of different types of media to enjoy, and much to do. The site menu bar really tells the tale well, I think. At the top of the Club Seventeen site page, you can choose between Home, Photos, Videos, Clips, Models, DVDs, Recordings, Upcoming, Live Sex, Bonus, Discounts, and Favourites. So, as you can see, this is not your typical one and done, fap and go porn site. There is a plethora to enjoy. Take your time, settle in. You’re going to be here for a while, I bet.But sexy and artful pics, vids, and cam girls are not the only adult content to enjoy on Club Seventeen. They have games as well. Exclusive games that only Club Seventeen members get to enjoy. Enjoy slutty slot machines, poker, wheel of fortune, and more. You could literally spend your whole day on Club Seventeen and not have a single moment of boredom. Just cycle between fapping and gaming. Which is what I do every day anyway. The circle of life. Fap, game. Fap, game. Fap, fap, fap once more, and then game until you fall asleep. It truly is a wonderful life.

Streamlined Site Design (but One Fatal Flaw)

Another great element to Club Seventeen is the fact that every component of the site (of which there are many) is conveniently streamlined for easy access. Instead of having to leave Club Seventeen’s members area to go to a whole other website to enjoy cam girls, live xxx cam harlots are featured prominently next to the videos and the pics. Plus, you can even access your tokens (and add any if need be) right from the user section at the top of the page. Everything about this site is convenient, easy to use, and streamlined, and I love it.One thing that I absolutely do not love, however, when it comes to Club Seventeen is the fact that they have ads. A surprising number actually. And, for a site that I’m paying money for, this should definitely not be the case. It’s just greedy, really. I cannot stand ads. Not one bit. If I had more of a spine, I would probably write them a strongly worded email about it, stating my dissatisfaction with their inclusion of promotions. But, alas, I am weak, and I hate confrontation. So, I will deal. Honestly, it’s not like it gets in the way of my enjoyment of the porn anyway…All in all, Club Seventeen is a veteran institution of the porn industry, and it shows in the quality (and quantity) of their content. If you don’t mind dealing with the ads, you will definitely get a great bang for your buck on this site. Enjoy, friends, and happy fapping to the hottest teens you’ve ever seen!