TS4Rent

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TS 4 Rent! Wow. These women are beautiful. There is just something so exotic about their appearances that I can’t quite put my finger on. I’m in love. These are the types of women I want to meet, marry, and have children with. They’ve got everything I like—nice, big tits, fat asses, and plump lips. But still, I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something else going on… Oh my. I forgot what site I went to. I had pulled up ten or fifteen sites in different tabs (as one does when they’re about to embark upon a marathon masturbation session), and I totally failed to notice that this one was TS4Rent—and TS, in this case, doesn’t stand for totally sexy or totally straight. These chicks have dicks. Whoops. I’m going to keep this a secret from my therapist. She doesn’t need to know that I don’t think she’s the perfect woman because her cock isn’t long enough.

Browsing The Phonebook

The meat and potatoes of TS4Rent is the directory of girls who happen to have a nice piece of meat and two potatoes themselves. It can be found under the search section, right up top below the logo. Once you’re inside, you’ll see a featured girl of the day, followed by a row of “TS4Rent Exclusive” girls, then several rows of girls who have promoted their profiles with “Platinum Boosts.” These girls tend to be more expensive than average, so if you’re looking for bargain basement prices you may need to check elsewhere, but if you want a premium experience, you’re in the right place. Oh, by the way—please keep in mind that everything I’m writing here is purely for entertainment. Hiring prostitutes is illegal where I live, so this is a work of fiction. You would be a fool to take anything I say here as truth. But anyways—if none of the featured exclusive girls meet your needs (or are within a few days drive), there’s a powerful search function on the right-hand side that can lend you a helping hand (before you lend her a helping hand). You can search by the big four—age, penis size, height and weight—to make sure that you’re not totally emasculated when she arrives, as well as ethnicity, eye color, hair color, breast size, preferences, and the types of services she will be willing to perform. Once you’ve narrowed it down, clicking on a girl’s page will bring you to her profile. You’ll see her location, a bunch of photos, as well as all of her stats. If you’d like to get to know a bit more about her, there’s also an “About Me” section, and then at the bottom-left of the profile (just above the ad for TS Live webcams) you’ll find the all-important financials. What each girl charges is listed in roses, which is a totally fictional currency with a one-to-one exchange rate for American dollars that is intended to keep things totally legal, but which I’m sure fools exactly nobody at all. Unlike my clever ruse of stating that this is all a work of fiction, of course… If I were to have hired somebody, the typical rates seem to be around one hundred dollars per hour to three hundred, but some extra-special women—especially famous pornstars—can command up to five hundred or even a thousand dollars per hour. I haven’t been saving my allowance long enough to afford that kind of premium girl, though, so I’m sticking with the off-brand for now.

Previewing The Action

There are a few ways for you to get a taste of the action before you commit—and at the prices these girls (with a bit extra) are asking, you’ll definitely want to make your decision carefully. The first thing I would do (because, again, I totally haven’t hired anyone through TS4Rent, that would be illegal) would be to check out the reviews. Before making an account all you’ll get to see is the star ratings that go along with each review, so if you want to delve a bit deeper to read the rest of the story and look at the attached photos, you’ll need to cough up a few bucks. You can also check out interviews, but only some girls have done these, and aside from one free interview, you’ll need a premium membership to access these, too. But since I’m (hypothetically) interested in a girl’s dick far more than her mind, I didn’t really pay too close attention to this section. What I do prefer to give me a taste of the action is the videos section. Though again, these are locked behind TS4Rent’s premium membership, they’re the most direct way to get a direct preview of what its going to be like when you meet your escort. Most of them are solo videos, but when a girl has a dick, what use would adding a second person be anyways? Plus, if you’re on the fence about hiring a transgender escort, the video section actually makes a pretty serviceable porn tube site for you to jerk off to, too. Last but not least (of the useful portions of the site, anyways) is a blog section. Calling this a blog section is about as much of an overstatement as calling myself a man, though—but, just like I’m perfect the way I am, I wouldn’t change this “blog” for the world. Rather than the escorts of TS4Rent telling long, drawn-out, personal stories about their grandmother’s chicken casserole, this section essentially amounts to a series of ten-word posts telling us where the girls will be. Each has a home base, but they post their travel plans in the blog section. So if you’ve got a perfect girl in mind but she’s not quite within the range that you can get to before your wife or mother find out, keep an eye on the “blog” and maybe one day she’ll get just a bit closer.

Would You Like A “Massage”

In addition to the main search page, you can also look through TS4Rent’s listing of massage therapists. This links to another website that appears to have been developed by the same people, and as such offers a lot of the same features. You can search, look at pictures, read reviews, and book a “massage.” Now, I haven’t booked through this site yet. And, even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you because I live in a jurisdiction where everything I write is a work of fiction because I have to maintain plausible deniability. But, when the first ad that I see in the massage section advertises a girl with a “LONG FAT COCK & ROUND SOFT BOOTY WITH HUGE BOOBS,” I have reason to believe that there’s more than just massages going down here. So if you’re in it for a nice rub and tug where you get to rub and tug back, you just hit the jackpot, but if you’ve got a kink in your back and you were hoping to find somebody who actually knows how to give a massage, you might want to look elsewhere. Of course, maybe you’ll get lucky and find a licensed chiropractor who has big titties and a big cock. If you do, help a brother out and send me that phone number, alright?

Coming Clean

My masterwork of deceit may have fooled you, but I can and will now admit that I did, in fact, hire an escort from TS4Rent. I know what you’re thinking—no, PornGeek! They’ll arrest you for this! And while I appreciate your concern, kind reader, fear not—the lovely lady who I met with engaged in no sexual acts with me, because… not because I broke down and cried while she cuddled me to sleep, that’s not why. That totally didn’t happen. We banged and she said it was the best sex ever and that she loves me and NO YOU CANT ASK HER ABOUT IT, SHE RETIRED RIGHT AFTER AND NOW SHE’S DEAD AHHHHHHHHH.