AdultSearch

Adult Search! I had recently hired someone to spend time with me on an escorting site and got the wild idea about the perfect way to win my lover’s heart. I have been courting an Asian pizza delivery driver for months but she will not stop dating this gosh darn Chad that isn’t good enough for her! I just know this piece of poop of a Chad will cheat on her the first chance he gets (because that’s what his kind do!) so I decided to use SCIENCE to put my HYPOTHESIS into ACTION!

*Puts on lab coat and goggles making fist * FOR SCIENCE.

I stole a dress and wig out of mother’s closet and proceeded to put on lipstick and makeup. I also stole her car and parked outside the pizza restaurant. I knew where the boyfriend typically parked in the parking lot since I had been watching her work for months. I parked next to his spot and waited to make my move. A few minutes later a vehicle parked in his spot. I was furious! This person is going to mess up the entire plan! I got out and knocked on the door and the driver rolled down the window.

“Oooh…lady of the night?” the man asked. It was my lover’s father: I know because I recognize his face after hiding under his bed watching him play board games with my lover and her mother. I didn’t want to give up my disguise though. If I played along I knew he would leave soon. “Yes,” I said. “How much,” he asked. “Five dollars now come on!”

He smiled a huge grin and jumped into the car with me. I drove us behind the pizza restaurant and parked. Immediately he took his clothes off and started playing with his weenie. “Me want it sucked,” he said. I didn’t want him to know I was disguised as a woman to win over his daughter so I had no other choice but to play along.

Friends, I am not afraid to admit it: I played the role perfectly. Like a good cosplayer, I never got out of character. I put my mouth on his weenie and before I knew it I was drinking his semen. I dropped him back off at his car. “Oh she was gone, Chad must have picked her up.”

The guy’s name was actually Chad! I missed my moment sucking off her Dad! Confound her father to damnation! I went back and decided to see if I could make any money doing this whole escorting thing. AdultSearch.com was where my search led me and it’s what I want to tell you about today. Is it worth visiting if you need a lovely female of the night? Come find out!

Site is straight to the point

You cannot fault AdultSearch for getting straight to the reason why you’re there. The site lists every city in your country right on the homepage making it simple to find escorts living closest to you. No searching for drop-down menus by state and province here: simply find your state and select the appropriate city. While many may think this makes the site look a bit drab and outdated (more on the look in a moment) it’s an escort directory site first and foremost: the convenience of finding relevant information outweighs the necessity of the site looking attractive. It shows AdultSearch knows what it’s doing and places just the right amount of emphasis on providing a site that’s easy to navigate.

Search escorts by country and city

Are you traveling and want to have some company in a new place? Perhaps you are traveling to another state and need someone to play with your collection of original trilogy Star Wars action figures or you want to lie on a beauty’s exposed breast and pretend she’s your real mother. Whatever your reason for hiring an escort (and we all have them) AdultSearch makes it easy to find the escorts that are closest to your location. Again, on just the homepage AdultSearch makes it easy to find your country, then state/province, followed by the city/cities closest to you.

To this end, it’s simple to just browse around and see what kind of escorts you can expect. If you know you are going on vacation or a business trip, AdultSearch makes it easy to plan ahead and find the types of escorts you will see there. Or perhaps you already know which escort you want to spend time with and want to work out the details ahead of time. Whatever your reason for planning ahead AdultSearch makes it easy to do so (getting an authentic Obi-Wan Kenobi action figure can take time so this is a good thing).

Slideshow with thumbnails showcases hottest escorts in your city

One of the neat things I found I really liked about AdultSearch is what happens when you click on a particular city. While you might not expect anything to happen save for search results to appear, a slideshow appears on the top of the page showcasing the thumbnails of that cities’ escorts. While I’m not sure if there is any basis as to why the escorts are displayed in the order they are (i.e. unclear if they are displayed based on popularity or simply the order they appear in search results) it’s a great way to see what that city offers in the way of escorts for the time being.

Did you find a lovely lass that you want to spend time with? Click on the thumbnail in the slideshow and you will be redirected to the ad. Reach out and inquire about their services, which Star Wars scene they want to recreate, and go from there. Is this how easy it is for ThePornDude to pick-and-choose who he wants to make sweet love with?

Ads are well laid out with relevant info

If you have ever used Craigslist or a similar bulletin board site then you know what to expect on AdultSearch. When clicking an ad you will notice that there is a wealth of information that can be included. Typically – and I say typically because not every escort is going to include a ton of useful information in order to protect their anonymity – an ad will list the following:

• Phone number.
• E-mail address.
• Location.
• Stats (e.g. height, weight, chest size, etc.).
• Availability for incall/outcall (rates for each).

The ads even feature a currency converter. Therefore if you are an Asian traveler just like the father of the female I am trying to court (you remember, the man I sucked off) and are visiting another country you may want to use the currency converter to make sure you are giving the lovely female just the right amount of money to spend time with you.

Ads have enough real estate for images, good info

What is the point of hiring a beautiful female to spend time with you and pop the pimples on your back (someone has to do it, mother sure won’t!) if you do not know what they look like? AdultSearch solves this problem by giving ads more than enough real estate to display images on ads. Images are displayed in a nearly-full resolution so you can see the beaut in spending detail before deciding if you want to spend time with them or you prefer to just secretly uplift them and move onto another lass to spend a couple of days with.

Easy to navigate

Although AdultSearch may look like blocks of texts and nothing more it’s actually very easy to navigate. Everything is so organized and easy to access that you will find yourself getting accustomed to the way the site looks and feels; you won’t want AdultSearch to change and you will be glad the site has stayed the way it has. Because it’s so simplistically designed yet functional, the site also loads super quickly. Avoiding the clutter and flash, AdultSearch has created a site that allows anyone to find escorts relevant to them.

Site feels bland and unattractive (but familiar)

And it is this familiarity that makes AdultSearch work so well. Sure, AdultSearch has a site that’s designed so simplistically it looks like it hasn’t seen a facelift in over a decade. That’s okay though! AdultSearch doesn’t need a facelift just like it doesn’t need plebes like me telling them that their site is okay the way it is. AdultSearch knows that it’s site works, it realizes that it may feel bland to some, but they really don’t care.

AdultSearch knows why you’re visiting and they want you to find the escorts that you are craving quickly and efficiently. That’s it. Opting for a bland site makes this happen and I for one am pleased as punch that AdultSearch has chosen to keep the site as it is. Like my Catholic Priest used to always say after he would exit confessional and wipe the holy juice off his mouth: “if your technique gets the job done why change it?”

Wise words to live by, Priest Becker.