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PornBay
It looks like there's a porn tool for everything. Just how you have the torrent bay for the mainstream junk, you also have PornBay.org for the porn stuff. Today, we are going to be reviewing this site, with some pretty retarded limitations if you ask me. But that's okay, people often also tell me that I am retarded, and I have mental limitations. So you never know what to do and what to say in the first place. Anyways, without dragging this intro on for too long, let's dive right into this.
First impression
My first impression is that PornBay.org sucks balls. First of all, the blue color is terrible and combined with some other elements that I'm going to rag on right now, you'll see exactly why. First of all, you can't see anything if you don't register. In fact, if I haven't done quick research about this site and understood what it's about from my idol ThePornDude, I wouldn't even know what it is. It turns out it is a porn torrent site, as I've previously said. Now, that wouldn't be a problem if they either let you know what you can find or post some kind of previews on the main page. Without all of that, and combined with that blue color, the site just seems like a wannabe secret internet spot for the Anonymous hacker crew. Yeah, people tell me that I'm lame all the time, but that doesn't change the fact that PornBay.org is lamer. Downloading torrents is illegal in any developed country, no fucking shit. But that doesn't mean that you have to hide like the whole European Union is looking for you in dark alleys. All in all, I'm pretty pissed of that I'm even wasting my time on this shit, and I spend my time on a lot stupider stuff, like jerking off and crying three times a day.Navigation
I have absolutely zero ideas about the navigation on PornBay.org. The only thing that I can personally tell you is what you can find on the homepage, the only place that you can access anyway. And those options, of course, do not work. So aside from being completely secretive, which to me seems like a cringe, they also have some malfunctioning options as well. I mean, my whole life is dysfunctional, but I still have the right to complain. Even though I complain about pretty much everything, it always makes me rage with passion whenever I see sites like this. I mean, you want your website to be appealing, right? When you make it so secretive and cut on the options, you just make your site seem unwelcome and unprofessional. Anyways the first option is the PornBay.org's homepage. Of course, that option doesn't work, because the homepage is where you're at right now and it is totally blank. Almost as empty as my fucking memory from all of those ball hits that I received in PE classes in high school. In fact, my mind is still weak, and even my hearing is not the same anymore. That's because I listen to my parents yell and argue every single day of my life. But who gives a shit, right? The second option is the logging in on PornBay.org option. So if you have an account, you can easily access the site without bothering, of course. It's about the same as when a worker remembers what brand of cigarettes you're usually getting. For example, every pharmacy worker in the country knows my father and his face. And that's why he is banned from most of them. That still doesn't stop him from buying his drugs, though. The black market is still a thing. But anyway, here is the biggest catch - if you're reading this review because you want to join the site, you really can't. I don't know if it's because there are too many users on this site already or they're trying to weed the retards out, but you simply can't register. There are no options for that and it looks like it usually stays that way until they lower the number of members at least.The perks
Not only does PornBay.org lack perks, in fact, but it's also quite the opposite. Not only do they lack perks, but they take away basic things on the site too. You can't browse anything, and you can't even register to the site. I mean, I thought we were past that, but no. The reason why I'm saying that is because restrictions like that remind me of punishments. Punished at home because my dad is a psycho and my mom only cares about her food. I am punished at school because I am a psychopath, and I liked groping girls when I was a kid. I gradually moved to indecent exposure, but after getting the shit kicked out of me, I mostly stay at home and watch porn. All in all, all of my minor life was wasted on punishments and life lessons. So miss me with this PornBay.org.The content
As I've previously said, the registering option is not present at the moment. But even though I am a loser, nobody steps in between me and my porn. Or my and my noodles. But nobody wants to step in near my 'noodle' if you know what I am. Anyway, on this site, you have great content, but specific rules too. For example, besides being able to download the content, you have to upload some as well. That's one of the rules when it comes to this site because they do not want any leeches on it. I guess that's why I won't be registering. I was never that good at 'giving back to the community' since that same community never gave anything to me. Except for endless mocking and beatings, of course, but who gives a fuck about me, right? Besides downloading the content, as I've previously said, you have to upload some, which is fair. But, that also gives you a chance to interact with other people's content, and they can interact with yours too. All in all, even though a lot of things suck on PornBay.org, they do have some good options. That will stop a lot of people who aren't here to be regular members. I guess maybe it's even for the better. They don't need weirdos like me at the PornBay.org. They need people who are willing to stay on the site and contribute to it. Even though the options for newcomers are restricted, I guess that the content isn't. Which means that if you're a total addict who has a brain that's already fried from porn, you'll love the PornBay.org. I am exactly that guy who loves his porn to the point where it's absolutely nuts, but still, that runs in the family: addiction and desperation. Except, of course, my fat mother. She is incapable of running. We wanted to make her try, but if it isn't a fast-food restaurant or food stamps, she won't move to get it. Which is really sad, but, it is what it is. ThePornDude would tell me not to complain too.Registration and conclusion
You don't have the option to register, and that sucks balls, but if you wait and be patient, you'll get your chance. They want active users that are ready to contribute to the site because otherwise, it's pointless. Uploading torrents is a dangerous thing in the western world, and I guess that PornBay.org is aware of it, even if they took it a bit too far. But all in all, if I already have to conclude this review, I'd say that the site is okay. It's not the best I've seen. In fact, it's really far from that. But still, if you combine all the elements, including the free range of content, then I can get down with it. Just as I get down on my knees whenever I'm praying to God, asking him to free me from this misery and give me the strength to become a normal and a productive citizen. But I guess you have to put in some effort for that, which I'm too weak to do.- Good content
- Good policy controls
- No restrictions in the content
- You can't register
- You can't see anything without registering
- Read the first two and tell me does it make any sense
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