MyPornClub

My Porn Club! I have been around the block a few times. Unfortunately, though, I do not mean that in the way that I wished I meant that. If we’re talking about sleeping with lots of girls, truth be told, I haven’t even made it out of the driveway yet. Actually, if we are to continue with the metaphor, heck, I haven’t even bought a car yet! I don’t even know where the block is to go around it even one time!

No, what I mean when I say that I have been around the block is that I know my stuff when it comes to porn. That block I know better than anyone. When it comes to finding the best porn sites and knowing the ins and outs (and the ins and outs) of what makes one source for porn better than another, I am nothing short of an expert. An armchair expert maybe, but an expert, nonetheless. Actually, a more apt title than ‘armchair expert’ might be computer chair expert, as that is where I do the majority of my ceaseless fapping.

I may not be quite as well versed as my hero, The Porn Dude. That guy has been around the block a few times in both senses. Not only has he been around the porn block (in fact, he may be the only person in the world who knows that block better than I do!), but he has definitely been around the proverbial block of sex as well. That guy bangs a staggering number of chicks. He pulls, man, he really pulls. It makes sense, though … if I were a chick, I’d probably want to bang him too!

Hey, don’t take that the wrong way. I’m not saying that I want to bang The Porn Dude. I’m just saying, I get why girls like him. Do you know what I mean? He’s cool, confident, and charismatic. The three Cs that inevitably lead to the fourth C: UNT. Plus, he’s so knowledgeable about porn, you just know that he knows what he’s doing in the sack. That has to be desirable to women, right?

Unfortunately, though, I don’t think that knowing a lot about porn always translates directly into knowing what you’re doing in the bedroom. I mean, look at me. I’m the perfect example. I know everything there is to know about porn. I know all the actresses, all the positions, all of the studios, and all of the right angles, etc. But I wouldn’t know boobs from apples if you threw me into a bed with a beautiful woman. I would probably fumble around awkwardly jamming my hand at her vagina, like ‘is this where the G spot is?!’

Actually, you should see me have sex with my girlfriend and body pillow, Suki. I can hardly please her, and she’s just a freaking pillow! Even my sex doll gives me a disappointed look from behind those cold, dead eyes while I hump her, man. When I say it’s bad … trust me, it is bad. Which is why I tend to just stick to my comfort zone. Porn. Where nobody can judge you and there is no aspect of performance involved. It doesn’t matter how virginal and inexperienced I am, in the porn world, I am a king of my own domain (and every domain that I type into my browser as well).

It’s a beautiful thing, the unfathomable amount of porn that is available at the click of a button thanks to the internet. But it can also be overwhelming. There are so many different ways to access porn these days, so many different sites to choose from, how the heck are you supposed to know which one to go with? Which one will yield the best results for your particular needs? Well, friends, that is precisely why I am here. To help you figure that out. Just like my idol, The Porn Dude taught me, I am going to teach you how to become a porn expert, too!

Torrents and Torrents of Jizz?

Torrenting always seems like a solid way to go to find porn, right? At least in theory? It seems pretty flawless when you think about it. Hundreds upon hundreds of full-length porn movies and scenes available in mere minutes and absolutely free of charge? Where do I sign up? The only problem, of course (there’s always a problem), is that porn torrent sites can be extremely hit or miss. So, allow me to bring you through a porn torrent site today that you may have never heard of.

We all know about sites like The Pirate Bay or Kick Ass Torrents, right, maybe even RRGB? Those are the big guys. The torrent sites that governments spend money trying to shut down. But they aren’t always great when it comes to finding porn. They have plenty of it, sure, but the design of the sites doesn’t always cater as well as it could to the very specific task of porn hunting. They often lack screenshots or previews, for example, leaving you to download porn in the blind. That or, another common pitfall, there will not be enough people seeding the flicks that you wish to spew your seed to, resulting in very slow download times or, worse, they will be downright downloadable.

The Unsung Hero of Porn Torrents?

But have you ever heard of My Porn Club? Probably not. It’s not very well known, at least not to the most extremely addicted pornoholics, that is. Trust me, I know because I am one of them (maybe the biggest one). Judging by the name, it sounds pretty promising, right? My Porn Club? A torrent site so dedicated to strictly porn torrents that it warrants its own club? This might just be the porn torrent site we’ve all been waiting for! Let’s take a look and find out…

From the moment you land on My Porn Club’s home page, chances are you will be pretty underwhelmed. I mean, I know I was at the very least. They really didn’t seem to put hardly any thought into site design at all. It doesn’t even look like a website. It looks more like the screen of system coding that you sometimes see when your computer is on the fritz (probably because you didn’t wrap it up, digitally speaking that is, and your computer caught a virtual STD). It’s nothing but a black background with an extremely plain coding style font listing torrents in a very cold and sterile fashion. Definitely not a looker, this site.

But there is something to be said about the spartan nature of the site. It definitely seems intentional in a way, like this is the aesthetic they were going for. And, if so, well, they have succeeded. It looks like you are about to do some hacker type sordid stuff. Which, honestly, is part of the fun of torrenting in a way. So, they’ve captured that feeling of it, I guess … I just wish it looked nicer.

At the very top of the page, you’ll find a very slim site menu bar. Here you can choose between Home, Latest Torrents, Top Hits, Community, Trends, and a little icon that links to The Porn Dude (at least they have good taste). Below that, you have a search bar, allowing you to get creative and find exactly what it is that you’re looking for. The community tab got me a little hopeful, thinking maybe they have a forum or something. But, no … all it is, is a list of all the registered users on the site, from which you can check out every one of their uploads.

Sexperts Only

One huge bummer about this site? Even though it was clearly made specifically for porn torrents, there are no images, previews, or screenshots of any of the files anywhere on the site! How bogus is that? So, like with The Pirate Bay, you have no choice but to either do your own research into a title before torrenting it, or just cross your fingers and hope for the best.

Unlike The Pirate Bay, though, My Porn Club has a vigilant community of seeders (so much seed everywhere!). You are very unlikely to run into the problem of not being able to download one of these torrents due to lack of availability. So, that’s definitely a huge plus. Especially since this is usually the most common issue a porn torrent site has. At least these guys are committed!

I think the best way to explain My Porn Club would be to say that it is a porn torrent site for only the most knowledgeable pornophiles and torrenters out there. You have to know exactly what you’re looking for. And then you also have to be pretty savvy, I’d say, to negotiate this website and know what to do if you encounter a virus (because the torrents do not have comments). So, all in all, there are plenty of movies here, but this site is not for beginners!