Japan HDV! If you’ve read any of my other reviews, you’ll know that the three things I cherish most in life are ThePornDude, my mother and my love for my anime cat-girl body pillow, in that order. And my Asuna would absolutely not be the perfect waifu if she wasn’t Japanese. Everything about that country gets my 2-incher bulging. So it’s really no wonder that I spend most of my free time watching hardcore Japanese nubiles getting plastered in cum. If I’m not playing Overwatch, I’m watching over glorious Japanese sluts and pretending that they’re all part of my harem.
When it comes to choosing what kind of Japanese porn to watch, there’s really a lengthy process that goes into the final say. Do I want a solo video of a kawaii schoolgirl, or something a little harder, like triple penetration? Some days when I’m feeling frisky I find myself in the mood to watch the most innocent looking Japanese girl I can find covered in over 100 loads, that she then has to scoop up into a bowl and drink until she pukes – then watch her drink it all back up again. You get the picture – there are as many different flavors of Japanese porn as there are flavors of cum – I assume.
My cum doesn’t taste very well – not that I’ve tried it, but take my word for it. I doubt it tastes as good as ThePornDude’s tho – it must be something special because girls are just all over his dick 24/7, but I digress. Let’s talk about JapanHDV and why it’s one of the best places on the internet to get your fill of Japanese girls taking it up every hole it’ll possibly fit.
Cum on a Blurry Pussy
There’s an old philosophical question that has boggled men far greater than I. That is, if cum oozes out of a Japanese girl’s pussy in the forest, but her pussy is blurred the fuck out because of censorship, then do her parents make a sound? No. Because her parents don’t know she’s a $2 slut who gets bent over for money by business-man looking motherfuckers because she was too dumb to pay attention in school.
But I shouldn’t razz on Japanese pornstars. It’s really not the feminist way, and I am after all a proper feminist. All I’m trying to say is that Japanese girls are very slutty when they’re on camera, but when I try talking to them at the local Japanese corner, they scream out “Yamete” and run the fuck away. I don’t understand why women are only down to fuck when I’m not around. I seriously doubt they’d respond that way if I had ThePornDude with me. He and I could pick up a couple of Japanese girls together, and sure, he’d probably end up fucking them both, but maybe I could slip in there at some point and get a feel, who knows.
Anyways… I was talking about censorship and JapanHDV – There is none. This website is painfully dedicated to keeping all the smut as sharp looking as possible, and that includes the finer parts of the women – their genitals. You get to see everything in glorious HD, from their prolapsing anuses at the ends of anal scenes to their destroyed pussies after 7 guys have rammed their way through. – See, they wouldn’t have this problem if they wait until marriage – namely with me. My 2-inch boymeat could hardly turn their soft pockets into meat curtains, but it’s their loss, not mine. I’ll just stick with my body pillow for now, as she knows how to appreciate a proper gentleman.
Japanese Bitches: Unchained
Much like how I went fap-crazy when my mom removed the parental lock off our internet – these Japanese girls are going crazy thanks to JapanHDV’s policy of fucking policies up the ass. On this site, anything goes. You’ll notice I mentioned prolapsed anuses before, and if you know Japanese porn then you know that anal is as rare in Japanese porn as, well, giant cocks are.
On this site, you get giant cocks, you get anal, and all the other classical Japanese porn moments you’ve come to know and love, like Bukkake scenes and loud girlish screaming. I don’t honestly know how they manage to get away with is, given Japan’s strict policies on what goes in porn, but I’m glad they’re bending the system as far as it’ll go.
It’s always been easy to find cum-on-face videos with Japanese girls before, but this kind of extreme depravity, where you can watch a young, gorgeous Japanese girl get triple penetrated for hours – it’s pretty fucking rare.
On top of that, they also have literally every genre of porn from Anal to Zebra. Disclaimer: They don’t have actual Zebra fucking, I just can’t think of a sex-related word that starts with a Z. The point is, they’re bending over backwards to satisfy you.
But would you believe me if I said that I haven’t even mentioned…
…the Best Part
Damn near every video on this fucking site is catered to western audiences with subtitles. And why would you need subtitles while you’re jacking off? Well, because these videos have hardcore acting on top of their hardcore penetration.
That’s right, everything from the extreme double penetration, to the lesbian porn comes with a serious story that is a lot more believable than the average “plumber fixes a girl’s pipes by stuffing them with man meat and cum”. For instance, you’ll see lesbian scenes where two girls are acting out their wildest fantasies “for the first time” and talking to each other about how and where they like being penetrated, because they’ve never had lesbian sex before, and they’re a little scared, but extremely horny. It’s fucking amazing!
But Wait, There’s More!
It’s always Christmas on JapanHDV, because for their paid subscription of $15 a month, you get access to all their videos, plus 24/7 live cam shows that are otherwise inaccessible, and access to sites within their network as well – without a catch. Now the network isn’t anything outrageous, but that’s still a handful of other full-fledged porn websites that you get for free with your sub.
It’s almost like JapanHDV are conspiring to destroy your dick. Since I signed up for their subscription I’ve been jacking it so often that my mom is genuinely considering getting me a therapist – But I don’t need one. All I need is more Japanese girls getting railed till they can’t walk.
The Website’s Design
Not much to say about this one design-wise, because it’s a paid site with absolutely no ads. I will say this though; the design makes me a little uncomfortable because the videos are bordered in what can only be described as a “metallic razor looking mesh”. It’s almost like the thumbnails are covered in chains. But who cares about that! The rest of the site is absolutely mind-blowing, and the features are numerous.
You got your standard sorting features like per-model sort, where you can see more of a specific model. The videos are also tagged by model so if you see a girl you like, especially in an orgy, you can pick out your favorite and see more of her in different scenarios. These girls are on a payroll, so they’re always putting out.
The search bar is also great, though technically I never used it because they have a really nice categories section where you can see every genre you can think of, with a nice large thumbnail to show you what that particular flavor of smut might look like. The search is really only there when you are feeling methodical and would like to cross-reference. Like when it’s not enough to just watch lesbian porn, you also need to see anal mixed in there. It’s great if you’re pedantic like me.
If you’re a fan of Japanese porn, you have a JapanHDV account. That’s just how the world works I’m afraid. This website is the den of perfect Japanese smut and you have no excuse not to jack off on it. I mean sure, it will consume all your time because you will be perpetually jacking it, but that’s a small price to pay for Asian satisfaction. These girls are perfect, the site is perfect, and you deserve it.
PornGeek likes JapanHDV
- Girls. They’re not triple-A but they take triple the dick to compensate.
- Website. It’s simple, fast, clean and works equally well on mobile.
- Sorting, tagging, categories. It’s a real sex-buffet.
- NO CENSORSHIP
- Japanese Girls. Nothing to add, I just really love Japanese girls.
PornGeek hates JapanHDV
- I dislike the fact that I can’t pull one of these girls out of my monitor screen and marry her
- The dudes all have bigger cocks than me. It’s immersion-breaking.