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i Stripper aka VirtuaGirl (2)! Believe it or not, I have never been to a strip club. Not because I don’t love the idea of them. Not because I have some BS feminist stance when it comes to that line of work or anything. And definitely not because I don’t have a high sex drive. Because I do. My libido is probably higher than anyone’s you have ever met! In fact, my sex drive is so high that my therapist is constantly telling me that it may be born of some psychological dissonance. That it is compulsory. Ah, but what does she know? The middle-aged woman in a sexless marriage wants to tell me that my sex drive is too high? Yeah, right. Sounds like somebody is projecting her own issues onto me. Freaking shrinks, am I right? No, the real and only reason that I have never been to a strip club is my intense social anxiety. When I say that it’s bad, believe me, it is bad. Like, I have to bring a brown paper bag with me any time I leave the house bad, in case of a panic attack. Actually, not even “in case,” more for when a panic attack inevitably strikes. I don’t know where it comes from, but whenever I am in a large, loud, or heavily populated public place, my body seizes up and it feels like all of the air in the room has been sucked up. I can’t breathe. My heart starts pounding like a porn star. And I start shaking uncontrollably. No matter the weather, everything feels cold and I feel like I could die. And that’s just what going to the grocery store can do to me. Could you imagine, then, if I ever attempted to go to a strip club? Oh, sweet baby Jesus, no thank you. The loud music, the throngs of people sticking dollar bills into thongs and G strings, the drunkenness. It would be unbearable. Save for the beautiful naked women dancing on the stage, a strip club actually sounds like it would be my own personal realm of hell. It is so very unfortunate, too, because a lap dance is probably the closest thing that I will ever get to actually having sex with a living, breathing human woman.

Always Getting Some (of Something)

I have sex all the time, of course, with my body pillow and girlfriend of around 15 years, Suki. Ever since I cut a slit into the bottom of the pillow, you know, right around where the vagina would be (if a pillow could have a vagina, that is) when I was 18, I have been getting some practically every night. Plus, I have a sex doll now, too, Dolly, with whom I cheat on Suki every now and then. I’m not proud of it, but how can I say no to that redheaded, fiery temptress? Just one look at her and I am seduced. That is all it takes. I wish I could be more like my hero, The Porn Dude. I know for a fact that he wouldn’t be scared of a trip to the strip club. In fact, I am willing to bet that he goes to strip clubs all the time, being the baller that he is. He probably doesn’t even have to pay for private dances. The girls probably give it to him on the gratis, since they all want to bang him anyway (which I’m sure he also does on a regular basis). I’ve tried to be more like him. That’s why I started writing these porn site reviews to begin with. But it hasn’t been able to even get me close to conquering my debilitating social anxiety. Especially when it comes to being around attractive women (or, really, women of any kind, for that matter).

Go to the Strip Club Without Leaving Your Bedroom

There is one piece of software, though, that helps me to simulate being at the strip club without having to ever even leave my bedroom. It’s called iStripper, and it’s amazing for a guy like me. But you don’t have to be wrought with insecurities and panic attacks to enjoy iStripper. Anyone who loves seeing hot chicks take their clothes off on a regular basis will probably enjoy what iStripper has to offer. There’s a good chance that you might have already seen a sneak peek into what iStripper can do. For a while there, they had a pretty heavy ad campaign going on. On nearly every free porn tube and porn aggregator site on the web, you could find a little iStripper ad. These ads were actually kind of novel, in the way that they appeared at the bottom of your browser just like they would appear if you had actually downloaded the software. Does this sound familiar? You go to a porn site, minding your own business (and minding your own business, if you catch my drift), when, suddenly, a sexy stripper would appear at the bottom of your browser, seductively dancing just for you. You could click on her and be transported to istripper.com, of course, where you could opt to download the software. This was always the porn site ad that I didn’t mind that much, because at least it was adding something sexy to the porn viewing experience. That is, essentially, what iStripper is. Of course, if you download the software, you have a plethora of customizable options to choose from when it comes to your own personal iStrippers. Once downloaded and running the program, too, you can choose how large you want your stripper to appear on your screen, which model you prefer, and activate stealth mode (for when you are at work). It’s a pretty great idea, honestly, and definitely worth checking out.

Realistic, Immersive Experience

What I love about iStripper is how realistic the experience is. Particularly when you’ve expanded the girl to appear in full size. She dances on your screen with no background, which only adds to the realness of it. Plus, it makes it so that your iStripper will never get in the way of what you’re doing. Although you might not end up fapping to these beautiful girls taking off their clothes on your desktop (even though you most certainly could in a pinch), it never hurts to have more boobies and booties in your life on command, am I right? iStripper is so easy to download, too. In fact, it might be too easy. Nah, there’s no such thing as too easy when it comes to beautiful naked women. All it takes is a couple of quick clicks and you are all set up. From there, simply launch the program, choose your lady, and sit back and enjoy the show! Done. Simple as that. Oh, and did I mention the fact that it only takes a minute or two to install? Plus, it doesn’t take up much space. It’s a petite program. And Lord knows I like my software like I like my women … petite and easy to use. The program has a free and a paid option, too. So, if you’re fapping on a budget, worry not. Well, actually, worry maybe just a little bit. Because, obviously, the free version isn’t going to grant you access to all of the perks of iStripper. The main thing you’ll be missing out on with the free preview is, sadly, all the perky boobies! The free preview only gets you a few non-nude shows to choose from. So, that’s kind of a bummer … but, hey, quality never cums cheap!

You get what You Pay For

You can, of course, upgrade (with your wallet) in order to gain access to everything that iStripper has to offer … the fully nude shows, any of the amazing models that are available, and all of the cool little customizable features. There are two options for upgrading on iStripper. You can either, A.) purchase tokens and buy new nude shows that way, one at a time, or, B.) use virtual money, which basically means buying token bundles. And it’s not the most expensive token-based porn show on the web either. $4.99 gets you 25 tokens, and $49.99 gets you 500. Depending on the model and the intensity of the show, of course, shows start at 20 tokens a piece. When you consider the fact that you could easily spend two or three times this amount for an equal amount of time with a cam girl or something like that, iStripper ends up being relatively very affordable. Plus, you only have to pay one time in order to have full access to your shows for life! All in all, iStripper is a great addition to your porn arsenal. For anybody who likes seeing naked women dance for them (and especially for those who don’t want to go through all of the trouble of actually going to the strip club and spending way more money than you will for iStripper), this program could end up being the ultimate fluffer to get you in the mood for all of the quality porn you spend your days fapping to!