Hard X! Welcome back everyone, I hope you're comfortable in your shitty stolen chairs that you put in your attic in order to make your already painful existence more endurable, my name is A-waste-of-sperm, otherwise known as PornGeek, and today I have a special one for ya. You see, on most of these sites that I review I don't actually get a membership or anything, but today is different. Today we are going to be discussing a little site called Hardx.com, and we are going to do it in a special way, because today we actually have a membership pass. I hope you're as excited for this as I am, and please forgive me if this review takes a little bit longer than the others, I will probably jerk off a couple of times, just to test the material, you know what I'm saying?
At the first touch... I mean glance
You see, since I'm poor as fuck and writing this shit doesn't pay me all that well (I mean it does, but my mom wants to me to chip in for the rent, that stupid bitch), I usually don't really get the chance to explore any quality content, so please forgive me if I seem confused, or at some moment, ecstatic. This is simple because this is such a special occasion for both me and my dry ass dick. But to stop with the complaints and all that shit, let me tell you a bit about this site. When you first log in, you're going to see that you're being redirected to the XEmpire, which I guess is sort of the main site or whatever for Hardx.com.From there on you have like a small list of everything you can browse, and it includes all XEmpire sites, all Hardx.com videos, all of their models as well, and it also lets you browse and search for photos and DVD's as well. Below that you can actually see the list, or should I say a pile, of all of Hardx.com's videos, and these are separated into three groups - the latest videos, the most viewed, and the upcoming. Wow, I just now realized what a stupid thing I said, since the upcoming videos haven't been released yet. I'm just so stupid, no wonder why I'm just a bland, unoriginal, and uninteresting copy of ThePornDude, fuck.
Exploring this further/h3>
Now when you start exploring this shit further, you're probably going to click on the things from the list that I mentioned above. He first thing that I clicked on was the button that has all of the XEmpire sites. Well, guess what? It doesn't do shit. But it's not necessarily a bad thing, because if you just put your cursor on that button without actually clicking on it, it will give you a small list of four porn sites that belong to this network, so moving on from that. If you click on the videos, it also shows you the same shit, since right from the start, you are already where the videos are, so there's just no point in clicking, and if you actually do it again, you're an even bigger retard than me and trust me, that's a hard thing to achieve, so, congratulations, I guess?The next thing that you're going to click on is probably the models' button. Luckily, this button actually has a fucking function, unlike the first two, and it immediately shows you all the models that are working not only for Hardx.com, but for the whole network as well. Some of them are younger, and some of them are more mature. You can find anything from teens to full-on MILF's, who are also pushing through the MILF age as well, and I guess that in like five to ten years, we are going to fondly remember them, as their tits sag more and more until their breast implants just plop to the ground. Some of these are Alina Lopez, Brandi Love, Avi Love, Cindy Starfall, and many others that I'm sure you remember as well.After we're done with the models, the next thing on our list is the 'browse' button, which includes videos and photos. Okay, photos I can understand, considering the fact that some fellas use their penis so much, that sometimes they just need a slower wank. But what the fuck is up with the DVDs? You paid for the site, you have like a shit load of videos that are available for both streaming and downloading, and you need DVD's as well? This isn't like collecting the whole cartoon series, like Pokemon or something, this is fucking porn, you just don't need so much of it.But to each their own, I guess. Let me stop this and give you all the information about this as well, even though I think it is completely retarded. I guess that when you enter the videos (at least that's what I've seen), you just get to see the front and the back cover, you get the list of models that are banging in their videos, and you also get a list of the videos from that DVD, and you can also view them, but only on the site. About the photos, it's just an endless list of photos with various porn stars, but if you click on one, you can see their photos only. So it's pretty simple and there is no need to stay on this topic any longer.
And last, but not the least
We are actually not finished browsing, but this is going to be a small segment only, so I'm dedicating this small part of the review to it, in order to do it justice. When you click on the 'free scene' button, it just gives you (you guessed it) a free scene from a certain movie, which lets you choose whether you want to see the full movie on a certain site that belongs to their network. So I guess Hardx.com pretty much thought of everything. About the specials button, if you click on it, it just shows you a logo of a site called iDealgasm, and tell you to click on it in order to gather up some more information.Unfortunately, I'm just not gonna do that since I'm not paid to review that site as well. Just kidding, I clicked on it and it's just another porn site with porn videos, nothing special in all honesty. So that was a fucking lie. And the live sex button just redirects you to a random cam site that I've never seen and that's it. Like this is so over the place that I feel like I'm working in an office and torturing myself over some stupid crap, it's not even possible. Hardx.com, you gotta work on your organisation, man.
The actual videos
Since I technically should just be reviewing Hardx.com (often misspelled as "porn x"), I'm going to talk about their videos and their content now, and this is probably going to be the highlight of this review, and of my day too, since I'm probably going to fondle my willy to their content until my gut starts hurting. Just fuck this life, okay? About their videos, they are amazing and they definitely impressed me. All of them are in HD; available for streaming and download, and you can see lots of stuff happening here. First of all, you have girls playing with dildos, guys playing with themselves in the intro, then you get some amazing high-quality blowjobs, vaginal sex, anal sex...Basically, anything that you can imagine is being put in here, so the content is just diverse and has a lot of qualities and very little flaws. And trust me, I've been doing this for so long that I think I have the biggest standards on earth. Like, for example, I would totally fuck a squirrel if I ever had the chance, just to see what any kind of pussy feels like, but I wouldn't jerk off to a girl unless she is a literal goddess walking among us mortals of the earth. Just saying. So you should feel relaxed if you decide to become a member, because it will definitely pay off if you're asking me.
In conclusion, while the site is basically all over the place, and it made me have a tough time while trying to concentrate on my browsing, I definitely enjoyed the experience. They could work on it a little more, and they could probably try to simplify some things or expand on some things and features as well, the site is definitely not a rip-off and you will definitely not regret becoming a member. I, for one, really felt good while exploring it and writing about it for you fuckers, and not that I'm finished writing, y'all need to get the fuck out of my way, because I'm going to feel even better in the privacy of my own room. Peace out.