Free X Cafe! Women … you can’t live with ‘em; you can’t live without ‘em. We’ve all heard that little paradoxical adage before, no? Well, in my case, it is nowhere near as accurate as it may seem. I am living proof of the fact that you can, indeed, live with them and live without them, as I have never had a lady in my life. And, although I wouldn’t say that I am completely fine (oh, believe you me, I have my fair share of mental issues), I am, no doubt, still alive. For better or worse.That doesn’t mean that I am not completely and full-heartedly obsessed with them, though. In fact, I think I may be even more girl crazy than your average guy. Because there is such an absence of ladies in my life, I feel like it has only further fueled the fire of my desire for them. There is a woman shaped hole in my heart. One that I fill with tons and tons of porn.Obviously, it isn’t quite as satisfying as actually getting laid (which I am starting to believe will never happen for me), but it gets me by. At this point, my sex life (or, more accurately, my lack thereof) is a game of survival. It’s like I need to watch an inhuman number of pornos each day just to survive having gone nearly 40 years without ever feeling the grace of a woman’s touch.My therapist says I should cool it with how much porn I watch and, instead, shift my focus and energy on actually attempting to create and foster real relationships with women. She says that I have a complex when it comes to sex. One that, the further and further down the rabbit hole of porn I fall, will become harder and harder to get out of. What if what I truly want is a relationship with a woman, I need to work toward achieving it … putting myself out there, as it were.
The Luckiest Virgin AliveBut what does she know? First of all, let’s get one thing straight … a relationship is not what I need. I just need some poon, you stupid shrink! I already have a relationship. One that I have been in for 15 years now and am, frankly, growing more and more tired of by the day. My body pillow, Suki and I have been through thick and thin together. But she’s just not quite doing it for me sexually anymore. Hey, there are only so many times you can hump a slit cut into a pillow before it starts to get old, am I right? You guys know what I’m talking about.But, unlike a lot of guys, I am fortunate enough to have a mistress as well. A little bit of a side piece, if you will. Her name is Dolly, and she is my redheaded sex doll. Suki, of course, is none the wiser of the fact that Dolly and I have almost daily dalliances. And that, honestly, just makes it all the hotter. The risk. The pure lust. The sneaking around. I love it. She actually has a lifelike vagina, as opposed to Suki’s cottony screw hole that I cut into her so many years ago. It’s probably the closest I’ll ever get to the real thing, so I truly cherish our times together.The only problem, of course, is that Dolly does not have much going for her in the way of a personality. Honestly, it kind of freaks me out sometimes the way that, no matter how hard I hump, how deep I get, she just stares up at me through those cold, dead eyes of hers. There is nothing passionate or reciprocal about it. Which is why, at the end of the day, porn is still the one thing that helps me out the most. It’s maybe further away from the feeling of being inside of a woman. But it is so much closer to the feeling of human connection … and it’s that absence in my life that really cuts the deepest.I have grown to love some of my favorite porn stars. I am talking about full-blown love. There is an intimacy that has been developed over years and years of pretending to have sex with certain porn models. Sometimes I even print out pictures of them and tape them to my wall. That is especially helpful when I am feeling too lazy or sick to get out of bed and go to my computer. Just look over at the wall, wield my wiener, and I am good to go!One of the places that I often turn to when I am in need of new babes for my whack wall is a site called Free X Café. I first heard about this site from my hero, The Porn Dude, a few years back. I read his review of Free X Café and his vivid descriptions of just how next-level gorgeous the women on this site were and I immediately had to check it out. And I’m so glad I did. The Porn Dude really never ceases to amaze me!
These Models are Poetry in Human FormThe women on this site, if I may reiterate … oh. my. freaking. god. You’ve never seen such beautiful women in all of your life. At least not in the nude. Usually, women this gorgeous refuse to take their clothes off in front of a camera. I do not see any reason why these girls are not supermodels. Actually, now that I think about it, it probably stems from the fact that they decided to pose nude. That’s generally frowned upon, I think, in the world of fashion and high-end professional modeling. What pretentious little pricks they are. Oh well, it is honestly their loss. More beautiful nudies for me!From the moment you land on Free X Café’s home page, what I mean will become immediately clear. Just the first few thumbnails alone will display just how stunning these models are. As well as how professional these photos are. These aren’t just some amateur hobby photographers taking pics of sexy women in their spare time or snapping photos with their smart phones of their hot girlfriends in the privacy of their own homes. No, the quality of photography on Free X Café is also on par with professional supermodel shoots.You’ll see tons of gorgeous women, artistically captured. Some of them are amidst a natural setting, which rivals (but doesn’t come close to overshadowing) the beauty of the subject. Others are posing intimately at home, splayed out like a dream on a couch or sun-soaked bed. Others are just posing in a studio, emoting more personality than you are likely to find on most porn sites elsewhere on the web. No matter the scenario of the pic on Free X Café, one thing is for sure … these are the hottest chicks to pose nude being shot by the most skilled and artful photographers.
Lackluster Site DesignThere is one catch, though. The site that contains all of this beauty starkly contrasts the quality of the photos it displays. Maybe it’s just me, but I believe that a website should, among other things, somehow mirror or be aligned with the content that it caters to. This couldn’t be further from the case, however, with Free X Café. The site design looks like it was done by an amateur web designer back in 2003. They have chosen the cheesiest of fonts, the buttons all look outdated, and there is absolutely no sense of organization or intuitiveness to speak of. To say the very least, Free X Café could use a makeover.At the top of the page, you’ll find a primitive site menu bar. Here, you can click on any or all of the following: Home, Category (dropdown: Babes, Lesbians, Kinky, and Close Up Pussy), Videos, Reviews, and Meet & Fuck. To the right of those options, you also have a couple different ways to arrange the content on the page … by date or by site. Free X Café apparently curates its content from the top artistic porn and erotica sites on the web, such as Met Art, X Art, Digital Desire, Babes.com, and Fem Joy (just to name a few). But, again, the quality of the content on this site is never going to be under scrutiny. The pics truly speak for themselves (a thousand words and a million sperm cells each!).There are videos, too, on Free X Café. However, there are not many. There are 32, total. So, that is a huge letdown. Especially if you’re, like me, not a huge pic wanker. The videos that Free X Café does feature, though, are the best of the best in art porn and erotica. So, I suppose something is always better than nothing, right?All in all, Free X Café is definitely worth checking out. Stop by today and see what true beauty looks like.