FakeHub

Fake Hub is probably the most realistic porn site I’ve ever been on. I know that’s counterintuitive, and I know I probably sound crazy. And hey, if you listen to my mother, my therapist, and the state mental health board, you’re right. But I’m right about this, so just bear with me.

FakeHub is a porn site featuring videos that emulate real sex. The girls on this site are pretending that they’re having sex because they enjoy it, but really they’re doing it because they’re professional pornstars who get paid to fuck. They’re getting something from it.

And you know what? That’s exactly what sex is like in the real world. Women don’t actually enjoy sex, they do it to get something else. So there’s really no practical difference between the porn on Fake Hub and sex in real life except that the girls on Fake Hub are honest about the fact that they’re only fucking and sucking for money.

In fact, let me rephrase what I said earlier. Fake Hub is more real and more honest than sex in real life. It’s more true-to-life than amateur porn. Despite its name, the site is the definition of authenticity.

Do you know how I know? Because I’ve never had sex. If women really thought that sex was about pleasure, I’d be getting laid left and right. I’ve got an average body and an average dick (despite what the fake news media will tell you), so I wouldn’t have any trouble. Instead, they go for rich studs with high status like ThePornDude.

A Field of Fakes

The porn on FakeHub is split up into eleven separate sections, each of which FakeHub calls its own site. At first, I thought that this was just a marketing ploy to make it seem like you’re getting your money’s worth, but as it turns out they really could all stand alone. Each different site gets a new video about once a week, so between them, you get something new literally every day. Since your subscription to FakeHub covers all of them, that’s basically an endless supply of porn for even the most overzealous masturbators.

My favorite of all of them is probably their most famous: FakeTaxi. There are two separate strands of porn under the FakeTaxi banner (one in London and one in Prague) but each of them follows roughly the same standard plotline. The taxi driver picks up a cute girl in his cab (equipped with a hidden camera) and one way or another convinces them to have sex with him. They’ve also got a sister site called Female Fake Taxi, which should be pretty self-explanatory. I really wish something like that would happen to me someday. It actually did a few years ago, but I didn’t really like going through what that man did to me.

Another popular one is Public Agent. In this series, the premise is that the guy holding the camera works for a modeling agency and is patrolling the streets to discover the countries next top model. But there’s a catch: in order to work in this industry, it’s who you blow more than who you know. They also offer a few related sites: Fake Agent and Fake Agent UK (same premise, but porn auditions), Female Agent (same premise, but the talent scouts are women), I’d like to give something like this a try in the real world, but it probably works better if you’re attractive, in shape, not dead broke, and not living with your mother. Women are so picky these days.

Rounding out the sites are a few more classic porn scenarios. You’ve got Fake Hospital, where male doctors thoroughly examine their female patients, Fake Cop, where attractive young ladies do what women do best to get out of speeding tickets, and Fake Driving School, where students who aren’t quite talented enough to pass their tests find another way to get good grades.

Last but not least are Fake Hostel, which features the classic hostel hookup scenario that seems to happen to every world traveler except for me, and Fake Hub Original, which hosts a little bit of everything else. Between the ten themed sites and this last catch-all, basically every standard porn trope is accounted for on FakeHub.

On top of all of these navigational tools, FakeHub lets you filter and sort the porn in a bunch of different ways. You can sort by most recent videos, most viewed videos, and the top-rated videos, or even check things out alphabetically. Then there’s the powerful set of tags, which you can use both within any given site or across all of them to find your ideal scene.

Plus, they have a directory of all of the porn stars that appear in each video. This can come in handy since the site features over a thousand girls. Sure, it may harm your suspension of disbelief when you find out that the same girl that had sex with a London cab driver also had sex with a doctor and their casting agent, but I think it’s a fair trade-off.

The key to FakeHub’s appeal is how real these videos seem. They’re not pretending that the videos are of amateur girls, and you might recognize a few of your favorite pornstars, but the way the videos are filmed really leads you to believe that the scenes are really happening. Sure, a lot of what’s going on on FakeHub would probably be illegal and immoral if it was happening in real life, but I think that sense of violation is one of the hottest things about the site.

Last but certainly not least, you’ll be happy to know that all of these features transfer spectacularly to FakeHub’s mobile site. I tested this while riding in a cab myself, actually. With a female driver, too! I tried to pull one of my moves on her by letting her get a glimpse of my screen as I rubbed myself through my sweatpants, but instead of getting turned on and begging to suck me off like I expected she kicked me out of the cab and made me walk the rest of the way to my doctor’s appointment. Sadly, the doctor didn’t like it either when I tried the same trick.

Paying The Cab Fare

Good porn isn’t made for free, so naturally, you’ll have to compensate the good people at FakeHub a bit to get access to their output. If you know you’ll like what they’ve got (as I did) you’ll probably want to opt for the full year, since it’s by far the best deal. But, if you’re a bit more hesitant, you can also choose quarterly, monthly, or even a two-day trial membership, just know that you’ll be paying as much as three times as much as you would if you dive in headfirst.

On top of your standard credit card payment, FakeHub provides a few other options for making payment. These can come in handy if you’ve lost your credit card privileges (thanks mom), or if you need an extra layer of discretion to hide your porn habits from your friends, lovers, and mailmen. Aside from the trial membership, you can join FakeHub for any of the offered term lengths by paying by check, cryptocurrency, or even by another store’s gift card.

I was intrigued by the possibility of roleplaying as a time traveler from the 1980s by paying by check, but I decided against it. Not only would this mean having to go through the effort of remembering how to write a check in the first place, but it would mean I would actually have to have thirty dollars in my bank account in the first place.

Since that wasn’t an option, I looked into paying by cryptocurrency after. But then I remembered something that I must have blocked out of my memory: I already sold all my crypto when the markets crashed. I did a quick Google search, and it turns out that what I sold for about twenty-five dollars three years ago is worth close to twenty-five thousand now. Whoops.

On the plus side, when you pay by crypto you can choose an ultra-long five-year membership. By the time that runs out, society will probably have collapsed and taken digital currencies along with it, so FakeHub might be the last porn site you’ll ever pay for.

The final payment option offered is to pay by gift card. Grandma gives me gift cards to restaurants that I hate almost every year for my birthday, so I think this will come in handy. That way instead of her treating me to a burger that doesn’t taste good, I’ll get a solid month or two of masturbatory bliss. Thanks, grandma. I’ll make sure to think of you when I’m on FakeHub.