Cartoon Porn Videos! My mom and my sister have always given me shit about how much I love cartoons. Even as a grown man, they think they can talk down to me just because I love giggling animated schoolgirls and superhero adventures full of action, adventure, and hardcore sex. Hey, a lot of adults are into it, not just dirty neckbeards and their anime body pillow girlfriends. CartoonPornVideos got 12 million visits last month, and they keep getting more popular.CartoonPornVideos.com was registered back in 2001, so they’ve got better pedigree than my mom’s scrotum-biting Jack Russell Terrier. That simple but descriptive domain name is probably Internet gold, and from the looks of it, they’re milking it for all it’s worth. Load up the front page and what do you see? Cartoon Porn Videos. Tons of them.
Your Basic Free Tube, Plus Freaky-Ass HentaiBeneath a simple header so bright, sparkly and wholesome that it feels weird on a porn site, CartoonPornVideos follows the standard free porn tube layout. The main difference here is that all of the blowjobs, the booby groping, and the BBW shemale fuck fests are animated cartoons or CG as opposed to the usual flesh-and-blood smut.Well, I guess format isn’t the only big difference. The neat thing about hentai is that anything goes. They aren’t limited by budget size or the laws of physics, nor the laws of man. The front page of the site features brother/sister incest and an x-ray view of a bound whore getting a huge dick all up in them guts. There’s a demonic futanari teacher leading her students in a satanic orgy, an invisible guy fucking a busty petite Japanese girl, and a goddamn Pokémon getting a hard, dirty porno fuck.I can always count on cartoon porn sites to make me feel at home. Within minutes of landing at Cartoon Porn Videos, I was fondling myself while watching Chun Li take on half a dozen penises. I edged myself as best I could for a solid 10 minutes to breast inflation and battle sex between winged goddesses before making another mess on my sweatpants.
A Fountain of Animated Filth
One of the best things about CartoonPornVideos is that it is updated all the goddamn time. Every day, a few new filthy anime scenes are added. There have been a half dozen just this morning, including an X-rated version of The Legend of Zelda where Link uses a magical instrument to bang all the lusty hotties, and one of the babes from DOA getting on her knees to suck a meaty dong.Yesterday, somebody uploaded a CG scene of Catwoman and Harley Quinn giving Batman a tag-team blowjob. It’s nearly 10 minutes of realistic superhero sex with a lot of sucking, licking and thrusting of veiny members. The soundtrack is pure porn, all groans and wet slapping with the occasional wah-wah guitar.The baked-in video player on the site is better than most, which I chalk up to the fact that this is fucking nerd porn. Of course, the geeks in the back are going to give us a sleek design that lets us watch hentai threesomes at different play speeds and resolutions, with one-click sharing to nerd havens like Reddit. Playback is smooth, with no buffering issues even when I’m jumping around in HD. With my spam blocker, I’m not even getting hit with pop-ups or other bullshit.The user-submitted videos mean there is always new animated smut to watch, but you have the same issues with inconsistent tags you get on any site like this. Specifically, I wish subtitled and dubbed clips were marked in some clear way. You get a lot weaboos like me loading up the site with our silicone anime schoolgirl twats all lubed up, and then we don’t understand the dialogue in our teenage monster sex movies. I need to know why that horse monster rapist is so angry!I watched a half-hour anime porno about some teenage dude who gets a footjob in the beginning and has a threesome a few minutes later. This all takes place in a school, and I wonder if this is what I was missing when I was getting swirlies and trying to stick to the shadows. The audio is Japanese and the subs are Spanish, so I can only guess about the blowjob motivations. At least I know from the tags that a Sister is involved somewhere. See, sissy? Sometimes siblings are supposed to do nice things for each other.
Anal Lesbians, Teenage Blowjobs, and Monster Sex Movies
The Categories page at CartoonPornVideos is pretty tame, at least compared to your typical hentai site. A lot of them have huge, sprawling lists of micro-genres like inverted schoolgirl nipples and organic tofu tentacle rape. Here, it’s just a couple dozen categories, and it’s mostly your typical porno stuff like Teens, Toys, Big Tits, and Blowjobs.Of course, your typical free porn tube doesn’t have a Futanari aisle with a thousand videos of big-dicked anime bitches doing their thing. Most don’t have a Rough Sex area where Marge Simpson gets impregnated by alien tentacles and a hentai teen with giant tits gets fucked right in her goddamn enormous nipples. How many other free sex websites have a massive and growing archive of Monster pornos?The Monster section is worth a look even if you don’t get all hard thinking about tiger women getting violated by barbed feline shaft or zombies gang-raping a blonde. There is definitely some train wreck appeal to watching a woman get so pumped full of jizz that her body swells up like a water balloon getting ready to pop. Don’t tell anyone, but I got the weirdest goddamn boner watching a yeti slamming his literal monster cock into a nasty little slut on a snowy mountain.
Click This, Watch Those, Stroke That
I clicked on that Legend of Zelda thing I saw her earlier and was annoyed to get a message saying I needed to use Flash. Flash is outdated bullshit, and your browser disables it by default for a reason. I’m trying to be more of a risk-taker, kind of like The Porn Dude but not as manly, so I allowed Flash to run just this once. If I can keep doing brave shit like this, I’d like to work myself up to going outside and seeing the actual sun.It turns out The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Fuck is an interactive sex game, not just a cartoon. That makes me feel a little better about the Flash, even though it’s still an outdated app that needs to just fucking die already.This is a pretty low demand game, so I was already banging a virtual slut a few minutes later. She rode my junk in a rowboat while I smashed her Easy, then Medium, and finally Hard. Her boobs bounced harder and harder, she got louder and louder, and then I hit the Cum button. My spunk oozed out of her cunt and then it was back to the map to pick my next sexual adventure in Hyrule.The porno video games were a nice surprise. CartoonPornVideos actually has over 150 of these little Flash sex toys, but I guess CartoonPornVideosAndSexGames is kind of a clunky title. There’s not a lot of info on the selection page, so it’s hard to know what you’re getting into with each game until you play it. Sorting them by Most Popular or Top Rated is probably the easiest way to find the best ones.I spent about an hour playing a game called Peeping Pervert by the Poolside Pounding His Penis, and now I know exactly what I want to do with my life. In the game, you play a fat guy hiding behind a wall as he masturbates furiously to the beautiful, big-breasted woman sunning herself by the pool. If she sees you, it’s game over, and you also have to deal with this goddamn monkey who wants to yank your Jimmy like some kind of fag.I loaded up CartoonPornVideos expecting to watch some taboo hentai and CG rough sex between princesses and demons. I did see that, and plenty of it, without much spam getting in my way. The porn games are just icing on the cake. Mom is yelling that it’s time for me to give her sponge bath, but I’m going to crank my headphones and keep playing this nerd revenge sex game.