My ideal woman has huge eyes, giant tits, brightly colored hair and the spunky personality of a space princess/warrior. My mom tells me I should change my standards since anime girls don’t exist in the real world, but I feel like there are some compromises out there. Check out the punk rock sluts at BurningAngel and tell me they don’t have a lot in common with the animated beauties I typically fall in love with.BurningAngel.com has a pretty fucking solid legacy, having begun serving up goth girl blowjobs way back in 2002. The name is now synonymous with punker sluts, scene girl whores, and porn stars covered in piercings and tattoos. Even nice, normal girls make me nauseous with anxiety, so I really appreciate that I can shake my cock at these broads over the Internet.
Punker Sluts Getting Fucked!
The site may be relatively old, but they’ve certainly updated with the times. The landing page is as modern as could be, with full-motion video at the top of the screen giving you a taste of the action inside. Tatted-up sluts in fishnets, lingerie and kinky PVC gear suck dick, ride it and get all of their tight holes crammed in hardcore gang bang scenes.In case you’re unaware, the original mind behind BurningAngel is a slut-of-all-trades by the name of Joanna Angel. She is credited with helping the alternative porn scene grow by launching this site as a response to similar paysites like Suicide Girls. In addition to putting out movies, she’s also starred in a ton of them. Most porn starlets don’t have their own Wikipedia page, but Joanna’s goes on and on, listing dozens of awards and accolades she’s won from AVN, XBIZ, XRCO, NightMoves and more. Yeah, BurningAngel ain’t some back-alley bullshit by some wannabe porn studio; this is a known quantity from the best in the business.The previews of the latest BurningAngel fuck flicks really back that up. Joanna herself is getting smashed by the illustrious Ramon Nomar in the newest, Sex Cult: Act One. She’s wearing red leather thigh-high boots and a bikini top like a dominatrix, but Ramon seems to be in charge in this BDSM, rough sex romp that takes place in a dungeon. In the scene before that, a petite redhead goes interracial in an airtight gang bang, gaping from that onslaught of massive, monster cock.
Cheaper Than Mom’s Toenail Cream
Just looking at the previews has me breathing so heavily that my mom yelled down into the basement for me to keep it down. I made my way to the sign-up page to see if I could afford a taste. They’ve got a three-day trial for three bucks, but the regular membership is only 30 USD per month. That’s the same as everyone else is charging, but they’ve also got a streaming-only plan for 20 bucks if you don’t need to save your skinhead girl anal movies.I did notice that the dates on the newest releases are spread pretty far apart, maybe a couple of weeks each. You don’t get weekly updates from BurningAngel like you do from a lot of paysites, but they make up for that by giving you full access to the AdultTime network with your membership. They’ve got “over 100 channels and 50,000 episodes” and at least five new releases every single day. It’s such a solid bang for your buck that it’s worth getting grounded for wasting the grocery money again. Besides, stuck in your basement is exactly where you want to be once you get signed up.
Adventures in Sexy Babysitting
The last time my mom tried to get me a babysitter, it didn’t go exactly as planned. She figured if somebody was watching me, I probably wouldn’t masturbate all over the living room, getting semen on each of my mom’s Precious Moments figurines. Well, not only were those cute plaster moments ruined by my sticky baby batter, but the babysitter ended up with PTSD and I ended up on the sex offender database. Again.I may be judging these sluts based on how they look, but I get the feeling the girls in Babysitter Auditions 2 would be a bit more receptive to my creepy leering and compulsive penis touching. I mean, hell, the preview image alone shows a tattooed slut tossing a punk rock whore’s salad while punky rides some lucky motherfucker. This is the kind of shit I picture The Porn Dude doing all the time when he’s not reviewing porn sites. That’s just one of the reasons he’s my hero.The scene opens with the babysitter showing up for a little interview that plays out a lot like a comedy sketch. It doesn’t feel real, but it’s a fun kind of campiness that I prefer any day of the week over weak attempts at realism that usually fall flat. It’s better to laugh at a line because it’s funny than to groan because it’s delivered so poorly.
And I Didn’t Get Arrested This TimeA few minutes in, the babysitter is presented with a nice pair of black lingerie. In retrospect, that would have been a good way for mom to filter better candidates for the gig, but hindsight is always 20/20. Anyway, I’m not sure I could have handled her like the horny couple in Babysitter Auditions 2.The little slut gets oiled up and stripped down in a kinky, fun montage before we get down to the real action. The two girls destress with a 69 that gets my mouth watering. I’ve never tasted cunt, but I’ve always imagined it’s a lot like Mountain Dew because that’s my favorite fluid. The dude gets in on the action, sticking his tongue in for a quick taste.I fucking love the horny enthusiasm you see in these certifiable nymphomaniacs. Every participant in this nasty threesome is excited as hell, moaning loudly as they suck, fuck, and stroke each other, each on the quest for mind-blowing orgasms and explosive ejaculations the likes of which have never been seen on video before. I see too much porn where the stars seem a little bit bored, but that ain’t what BurningAngel is selling.I also really love the skills this couple looks for in a babysitter include no-hands cock sucking, face sitting, and licking pussy while fingering it until the recipient’s eyes roll back in her head and she screams. Off to the side, dad takes notes on a clipboard so they can go back and review the applicant later. I’m sure the video will help a lot, too.
Yummy Yummy Punk Rock Sluts!
I’ve been using this penis numbing cream before I masturbate, hoping I could build up the kind of stamina I’m sure The Porn Dude has. I actually managed to hold it for nearly a minute this time before hosing down my anime body pillow girlfriend with hot semen. She gets a little mad when I cum for other girls, but she’s been chafing my genitals pretty bad lately. I should probably find a better fabric softener.Along the way, I did develop something of a crush on this wannabe babysitter, Adria Rae. I clicked her name to see what else she had on BurningAngel and a few dozen movies popped up. The site actually displays all of her scenes across AdultTime, not just the ones on BurningAngel. It turns out sweet little Adria will fuck just about everybody, not just partners with a shit ton of tattoos. That’s good news for me, since the very sight of needles has been known to make me piss myself.Since I’m reviewing BurningAngel, though, I did spend a good 20 minutes researching a film called Adria Rae Teen Gothic Nympho. The sexy dancing in the opening was enough to make me mess my pants again, but I downloaded the clip so I can really appreciate the doggy style and deep throating. The glug glug glug sound she makes with a dick down her throat reminds me of the noise mom makes eating potato salad with extra mayonnaise.I have to admit, now that I’ve seen how these girls fuck I’m even more intimidated by them. It’s practically superhuman and I wonder a little bit if I’m dreaming because they seem so much like my favorite hentai sluts. Maybe girls with piercings, tattoos and dyed hair are just kinkier and sexier than normal girls, or maybe Joanna Angel is just really good at finding incredible pornographic talent for her movies. Whatever the case, BurningAngel is still one of the best sites for original, exclusive alt porn featuring punk rockers, gothic nymphomaniacs, and tatted-up porn starlets.