Ebony Pulse

I had to do it again goddamnit! Oh my goodness, I am so sorry friends. You know I’ve had a bad day when I use the Lord’s name in vain. I am irate because I was sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for mother to get more bunions burnt off her feet, where I could be doing literally anything else. I was playing Final Fantasy VII using an emulator on my phone when I let out the biggest yawn of my life. It had to last nearly a minute! In mid-yawn, a beautiful black goddess walked by. This female was amazing! Easily 500 pounds, she took up so much of the aisle that as she was squeezing through part of her arm fat went into my mouth.Friends, you know how tiny my penis is. If you’ve been reading me long enough you know that I have a difficult time getting erections. But this morning? Nuh-uh. My weenie was rock hard after I had a taste of some black fat. She walked into the waiting room and I immediately followed her inside. You’re not supposed to do that, but I was a zombie at this point: I had tasted the fat of a sweaty black woman and I needed more!I walked into the waiting room where just the two of us were standing staring at each other.“I…licked you. I want more,” I muttered.“Get the fuck oughta here pussy cracka’!” she screamed. She started screaming, “rape, rape,” and I kept insisting, “no-no! Not rape, not rape! Just lick, just lick,” but it was no use. They kicked me out of the doctor’s office and told me if I ever came around again I would be arrested. Well, that got me out of ever taking mother to the doctor’s office again but now the entire staff doesn’t think I’m a male feminist anymore! *Starts sobbing* It’s the worst day of my life…Ebony Pulse TV! I think I will browse around Ebony Pulse.tv and try to figure out where it all went wrong. My love for black fat females knows no bounds, and I will uplift every one of them that I find even if some people think I’m a scallywag. Join me and uplift these goddesses with me, won’t you friend?

Thousands of videos

Although I cannot tell you just how many videos are on Ebony Pulse what I can say is that there are at least thousands. Not just thousands either, but tens of thousands. This is proven when you look at the categories section on Ebony Pulse (more on that in a moment). Each category has a number by it dictating how many videos fall within the said category. The numbers are almost always high unless you come across a more niche category. You’re going to be looking at ebony videos for the rest of your life if you try to watch everything is what I am trying to say my dear friend.And new videos are added daily! So don’t wait another moment friend: go out there and start looking around at the beautiful black ladies that make Ebony Pulse such a joy to look at. I have been uplifting these beauts for hours and the sheer blackness of their skin and the sauciness of their attitudes make me never want to quit!*Moans to myself* There’s nothing like the smell or taste of black female sweat. I wish I could wear their sweat and smell them on my skin for the rest of my life….Oh, GOD! Did I type that without realizing it? Scurvy! And I ripped out my backspace key when mother tried to censor me by scolding me for typing dirty words like, ‘taint,’ and, ‘gooch!’ Oh well, I can’t take it back now! I guess I will have to keep my inner monologue in the review! What do you think ThePornDude? Would moaning in a female’s ear and saying sweet nothings like that make a black female ask me to crawl up inside her?

Thumbnails are detailed across pages

The simplicity of Ebony Pulse’s site (a well-designed site I should say) allows it to feature large, detailed thumbnails on every page of the site. No matter if you are looking at the categories section, the homepage, or the videos offered in a certain category you’re going to be able to tell exactly what the video is about and whether or not you want to view it.Here is a hint though: these are all beautiful goddesses that deserve our praise white knights! You are going to want to click on every single video that pops up on your screen no matter where you are. Do your part male feminist: *Stands and salutes* Black females, on behalf of male feminists and white knights everywhere I want to give you a big, ‘saaaaallluuuuuteee!’

Responsive and quick on mobile and desktop

As I lie here looking around on Ebony Pulse and browsing the fat black goddesses that make me wish I didn’t have a ghost penis nearly incapable of getting erections I am struck at the fact that Ebony Pulse is so responsive and quick. It’s easy to use on mobile and desktop and you never have to wait a long time for any page on Ebony Pulse to load up. I never had to battle any hanging pages that made it impossible to get anywhere or do anything.You can thank the simplistic user interface of Ebony Pulse and the fact that the site takes a minimalistic approach. You won’t find any unnecessary Flash objects or the like that send Ebony Pulse to a grinding halt. The wheel does not need to be reinvented at Ebony Pulse and thankfully the minds behind the site didn’t see any reason to do something that bogus. Great design decisions, Ebony Pulse!

So many categories you won’t know where to start

I suppose you can start at the very beginning like anyone else so maybe I’m being hyperbolic by saying that. Still, Ebony Pulse sports so many categories you’re going to be very pleased with what is offered. I am always impressed when a niche free tube site is able to feature so many categories despite only focusing on a certain type of female. It just goes to show you that broad free tube sites that only have a handful of categories have no excuses except bad design or laziness. There isn’t a reason why any free tube sites should have at least a couple dozen categories – I don’t care who they are. Ebony Pulse proves this and other free tube sites – focusing solely on black ladies or otherwise – should follow suit.Ebony Pulse also features a decent amount of categories you may not find anywhere else. Expect typical categories like, ‘BBW,’ and, ‘Solo,’ while seeing interesting categories like, ‘farting,’ and, ‘cameltoe.’ I was a big fan of watching fat black females fart and you bet I was uplifting them until I was hoarse. But even so, I could smell them. I don’t have an explanation, but I could smell the poots with every squeeze from the females’ anus. How bizarre! If anyone tells you the paranormal does not exist, they’re lying and this proves it!

Language options are a nice touch

If English is not your native language, it can be difficult to browse around free tube sites. You can translate pages in most browsers, but you and I both know it just isn’t the same. That’s why I’m so glad that Ebony Pulse offers language options that will automatically translate the site into one’s specified language. No matter what country you are from, chances are Ebony Pulse can translate to your preferred language. It’s a feature Ebony Pulse didn’t have to offer but I sure am glad they did!

Clicking on a video redirects to a different site

Unfortunately, when you click on a video you are going to notice something funky: Ebony Pulse doesn’t actually host any of their videos! Although many videos go to trusted free tube sites like Pornhub, you would be forgiven if you missed the source of the video. You can spot the site where each video is hosted under the length of the video in the thumbnail. While this lets you know if the video you want to watch is hosted on a site you know and trust, if you really want to watch a video and you’re unfamiliar with the source should you click on it? There’s no way to really know.It would be a stretch to say that you are putting your device’s wellbeing at risk by clicking on videos that have an unfamiliar source on Ebony Pulse. You’re not. If you are unfamiliar with a source, do a quick search to see if it’s reputable; if you don’t know, don’t click. It’s a shame you have to be choosy with Ebony Pulse’s videos, but it’s truly the only gripe I have about the site. Everything else is gravy – white knight gravy with male feminist, gluten-free rye buns. *Licks lips and slurps* Uplifting beautiful women makes my tummy rumble!