PervMom

Perv Mom! It took me a really long time to understand the porno world’s obsession with incest. I mean, it all makes sense now, but my mom is so fat she has to ride around in one of those handicap carts at Walmart. Maybe most dudes jerk off thinking about their mama, but for me that would be like trying to stick my cock in a big fleshy waterbed that smells like cat food. My stomach even lurched a little bit when I first saw the URL for PervMom.com, but fortunately, all the cougars on the site are legit MILFs.

If I had known this was a TeamSkeet site, I would have been less concerned about accidentally stroking it to a big, quivering mountain of dimpled and stubbly, fatty fat flesh. These motherfuckers have a reputation for working with some of the hottest bitches in the business, so there’s no way they’d ever hire my mom. The fat bitch is actually pretty popular with the neighborhood sleazeballs, but doesn’t get anywhere near the 2 million visits a month PervMom is pulling.

Better Than Getting Catfished by My Sister

About ten years ago, I came closer to getting laid than I ever had before. I met a nice BBW on Omegle and we really seemed to hit it off. She refused to show me her face and she had a huge gut, but her boobs were huge and honestly, I’m not picky at all. I even turned my anime princesses’ body pillow upside down so she wouldn’t get jealous when I shook my dick at my laptop.

I was stroking my lizard on camera for her while she groped those heavy sandbags of hers. Her giggle sounded familiar, but I was having too much fun to think about it too hard. When I popped a nut all over my keyboard, the giggling turned into a cackle and I knew I’d been had. I knew it was my goddamn sister even before the bitch pulled the camera up to her face to mock me. Now every year at Christmas she reminds the whole family how I tried to bed my sister by showing her my pitiful micro-penis.

The movies at PervMom have a lot of little lies and pranks in their setups, but the girls are so much hotter than the evil broads in my family. In Operation Prank Stepmom, Honey Blossom’s son scares her into dropping her towel after a shower, which naturally leads to spraying a hot load of jizz in her twat. In Not Just a Fuck Stick, Sarah Vandella pretends she’s angry at her stepson for ogling that perfect body. Punishment in their house involves balls-deep blowjobs, which sounds fantastic if you’ve got a mom like Sarah. My mother’s got some fucked-up snaggle teeth and a serious mean streak, so I guess I should be happy she just takes my PS4 power cable every time she’s pissed off.

How I Spent My Allowance This Week

I checked out PervMom in July, but they still had a Memorial Day sale going on. They claim it’s 70% off the usual price, but the math tends to be a little wonky and misleading when paysites tell you what the discounts are. I ended up springing for the regular membership at 25 bucks a month, though it gets a lot cheaper if you can afford to buy a year at a time. It’s actually times like this that I wish I had a real job, but I break out in hives anytime I see a real girl in real life.

PervMom must be one of the best sites over at TeamSkeet, because it’s currently not included as part of their all-you-can-eat buffet of hardcore sex movie sites you get with a network membership. The big online porno networks are constantly shuffling their collections and coming up with new pricing schemes to hook members, so check out the full list and see what kind of deal they’re offering. Keep in mind, you usually get breaks on further network sites once you start giving them money.

Once I logged in and got dropped off at the main TeamSkeet members page, I worked my way to the PervMom section. They’re adding a new, exclusive HD incest movie every week right now and have nearly 100 in the archive. I love the titles here: Fucking Away the Stepmom Stress, Four Hour Boner Patrol, Mother’s Day Muff Dive, and Stepmom Sucks Better all sound like movies I’d like to watch right now.

It’s the thumbnail image for Quality Family Cooch Time that gets me. MILF goddess Jennifer White plays the stepmom in this one, with the lovely Latina Alina Lopez playing the younger generation. Mommy’s got her hand on her little girl’s ass as she shows off for the camera. The setup is that Jennifer just found out about twerking on the Internet and needs help figuring out how to do it. I had a horrible flashback to the time my mom found out about sexting, but then I hit the Play and forgot all about all the hairy roast beef photos she sent me.

MILF and Daughter Shaking Their Booties as One

I’m starting to understand why The Porn Dude loves taboo smut so much. I have to assume the studly motherfucker comes from a good-looking family like the ones on PervMom, but even if he isn’t smashing sissy, I bet he’s pulling this kind of Poon. People sometimes give me shit about creating a half-assed copy of his business model, but I’m not even in it for the money. I study his favorite porn hoping that one day I’ll be half the man he is.

Speaking of studying, Alina and Jennifer get up on the couch with their booties shaking as the younger babe shows how it’s done. Alina’s brother walks in and he is instantly as horny as I am, only he doesn’t pop in his pants before the girls even get out of their clothes.

I was finished and sticky as hell even before the cock-sucking began, each lick and slurp captured in crisp, beautiful HD. The POV camerawork gives it a raw, real feel that makes it seem like you’re really there without ever seeming amateur. I love when Jennifer works the shaft hard while Alina juggles nuts in that perfect little mouth of hers.

Mom gets cum in her mouth halfway through the clip and doesn’t even yell down into the basement about how I have to go run and get her a pack of gum and a fresh bottle of Night Train. Then the pounding begins. Alina has this slutty Aubrey Plaza thing going on and fucks like a true nymphomaniac whore.

I love how this family supports each other as they give everything they’ve got, fucking and sucking with every ounce of energy and depravity they’ve got in them. This isn’t phoned-in, fake horniness. Everyone in this scene wants to get off as hard as you do, and as hard as I did a couple minutes into the thing.

How Do I Switch Families?

Fuck. I’m even more depressed than usual. Not only is my family a bunch of fucking uglies, but we just don’t have the chemistry that makes for good porno scenarios. Nobody wants to watch an obese woman flop off of her mobility scooter and onto her son in a dank basement, surrounded by cat hair and anime figurines. Nobody wants to watch them awkwardly try to fit their pieces together in between all the sweaty, slippery rolls and dangling bits of flab. Nobody wants to listen to them pant and groan heavily as they push themselves dangerously close to cardiac arrest, unused to the demands of even the most basic physical activity, let alone wild porno humping.

But I guess that’s why sites like PervMom exist in the first place, isn’t it? Like so many other things in life, maybe the fantasy is better than reality. PervMom delivers all the hotness of taboo scenes but takes away all the ugliness of your actual relatives, not to mention the awkwardness of showing your sibling your private parts as a grown-up. The weekly exclusive scenes all have the same high level of quality you expect from TeamSkeet offerings, making this a damn fine site for fans of pretend inbreeding.